And Then A Stopper…

   And that would be a bit ‘o grammar. I’m not all that bad at stringing words together and I’m even not that shabby with punctuation. However there’s a couple of things that always give me paws - or is it pause? - for thought.
   And that would be? Loose and lose and to or too; no, no problem with two.
   And that jogged this old head and brought - bought? - to the fore this old thingy, “How many pedantic grammar police does it take to change a light bulb? Too.”
   Anyhoo, back to the ‘news’. It seems Mr Mirage came out the winner on last nights party political shooting match. So ever closer to voting date when, I feel sure, we’ll all be in the ring of fire.

 Adendumadodad; I know, never start a sentence with 'and', right? Is 'Anyhoo' okay?

Quote; Orson Scott Card.

“If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side.”

And Then, A Long One...

   Once again a link in the comments at Going Postal - and I was lucky as, apparently, no one reads the comments - I got to watch a video wot will interest anyone with an interest in wot’s interestingly known as free speech. It’s by a guy called Rommy Tobinson - apparently not his real name – who was invited to Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen by Danish People's Party and The Free Press Society to premiere his new documentary 'Silenced'.
   Click this bit in blue but be warned, It’s a long ‘un but well worth a watch this evening. On reflection, click above or go below...  
   Might be an idea to catch it fast as who knows how long it’ll be available. I didn’t embederate it as it’s quite possible I’ve put this Foggy Mirror in enough jeopardy simply by linking. After a pause for thought, how cowardly can you get? So here it be embederated. 

Quote;  Harry S. Truman.

“Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear."

And Then, I Conclude...

   As I’m sure you’re all aware, there’s a bit o’ bother going on in a land far away. Ukranky you say? No, that new one wot’s knocked that one off the headlines.
   Now I was quietly confident I knew the name of this country but upon turning on the televisual receiving device this morning I was – not for the first time – given pause for thought as some government bod talked at length about some country called Sudarn. No, I can’t find any other reference to said country.
   Anyhoo, as it’s up there with Pakistarn, Afghanistarn and others, I’ve come to the conclusion that the kids computer game we’re all bits and bytes of, which he’s playing in another dimension, has two versions of this civilisation type game loaded and, on occasion, the two conflict and cross over.
   Or his buddy next door is playing an alternative version and is messing with the version we’re stuck in.
   Whatever, one or both of those kids, after looking at the mess they’re getting into, must surely be close to reaching for the Restart Game button by now. Bu-by.
   Before I/we go, Word Crimes again you thick? Wot? Wy knot:

   Oh, and we really need this ‘guidance’ these days? isn’t Email just mail by another name? Hello teachers... Anyone there?

Quote; ??

“The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian ‘pahks’ his ‘cah,’ the lost ‘r’s migrate southwest, causing a Texan to ‘warsh’ his car and invest in ‘erl wells.'”

And Then Just Books...

   At the risk of repeating posts, which I’m about to do, there was a program on the radio this morning and the topic – between music – was religious teaching in schools. That in turn triggered a reminder of the old post below.
   Upon reading that wot’s below again, and bearing in mind the earlier programs content, it was interesting to note how similar, all that time ago, that book is to the book followed by our newest bestest ever friends. However the believers of the book below mellowed their beliefs with time while the other book followers tend to stick strictly to wot’s written in their book. Whatever, it’s a bit o’ fun.

Dr. Laure Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura.

Dear Dr. Laura,

  Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
  When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
  I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
  I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
  Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
  I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
  A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
  Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of
God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
  Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
  I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
  My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
  I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Quote;  Henny Youngman.

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.”

And Then, A Word...

   I believe there’ll be some announcements later today regards winter co-co measures. Did Mr Bojangles make a statement regards lifting some restrictions yesterday? Must’ve missed that and don’t remember seeing anything on the ‘news’. Anything to celebrate?  No? Oh.
   If a statement was made I’m sure it was littered with the stock words that proceed every statement, or answer to every question they’re ever asked. And those would be? Well, that would be, well, followed by er, and um in copious numbers.
   May I suggest a new word for use by those wot would rule over us? A sort of all in one word to be used to proceed all statements and answers? Hell it’s not hard, the word is, ‘Wellerum’. For tricky answers add another er as in ‘Wellerumer’. You know wot? I quite like that. Imagine when asked later by an aid how the interview went, Mr Bojangles replied that it’d been a bit of a wellerum. Or a TV commenter stating so-and-so’s answers left them looking like an old wellerumer. 
   Anyhoo, that rubbish and the use – again – of the word, ‘celebrate’,  reminded me of a very old yarn:
   A novice monk arrived at a monastery and long after his arrival he was assigned to help some other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying from copies, not the original texts.
   The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in the very first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.      
   The head monk said, “We’ve been copying from the copies for centuries so as to preserve the original in pristine condition, but you make a good point, my son.”
   With this, the head monk went down into the cellar with the very first copy to check it against the original.
   Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him.
   He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the R, we missed the R". His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old Abbot, "What's wrong, father? What R was missed?" With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies, "The word’s celebrate, not celibate."

Quote;  Sarah Kay. 

“Spoken word teaches that if you have the ability to express yourself and the courage to present those stories and opinions, you could be rewarded with a room full of your peers or your community who will listen.”

And Then, It’s All Free...

   My little nest of vipers is spitting bullets today on hearing some lady from the give-em-munt state that our recently arrived newest bestest ever friends will be automatically granted indefinite leave to remain visas. That would be the visa that took us well in excess of two years and a huge chunk o’ change to get.
   Coupled to this was the ‘news’ that they’d also be given lessons to enable them to speak English. Given? That was a requirement of getting a legal leave to remain visa by-the-by. Two things spring to mind. These fellows must’ve been rubbish translators or had complex helping jobs like mopping offices and diplomats homes. Fifteen thousand plus of ‘em?
   This goes back a few years now and may have changed a tad but this was how it was;
English Language Requirement
All applicants wishing to enter the UK as a spouse or unmarried partner of a British citizen or a person settled in the UK must satisfy the English Language Requirement. Prospective applications must pass an acceptable English language test with one of our approved test providers unless they can show that:
They are a national of a majority English-speaking country or they hold a degree taught in English
By taking the test, applicants will need to demonstrate a basic command of English (speaking and listening) at level A1 of the Common European Framework of Reference.
   Interestingly, when my little nest of vipers was getting her visa, although she could speak English – along with getting by in Mandarin Chinese,Thai and Vietnamese – this was not accepted without passing an exam and the test could not be taken without first going to an adult college for a year to learn English. English for speakers of other languages. All at great expense.
   Spookily, after the first year at college, and after getting to know the other class members, she discovered that of the twelve members of her class only her and two others were paying. The others had no means to pay so our government, us, were covering those expenses...
   Even more spooky was the fact that after a year of classes and sitting the test, at more expense, the only failures, thus requiring renewal of a two year visa – not cheap – and another year at college – not cheap - and a further test – not cheap – were the three paying students. Go figure. Thus copious bullet spitting today. Yup, I’ve spat a few myself.
   Let’s not forget her visa states she has no recourse to public funds. So no pension or state support of any amount/kind when I’m gone. Nothing. One wonders about all those wot’ve just been invited round ours...

Quote;  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language.”

And Then, Mail...

Further to the ongoing furore over grammar and hurty words, I had pause for thought earlier when I needed to type and send an E-mail of a formal type because as old as I be, I do type that type of E-mail as I would type a formal letter and that would be like wot I was taught back in the olden days as an initial, ‘Hi there,’ as to the initial salutation just doesn’t cut the mustard with this old chap. This modern outlook on words an’ such  caused me quite intense mental anguish right at the start of said mail as I wrestled with how to kick it off in an acceptable way for these modern times.

It seems pretty obvious that starting a letter or an electronic mail, Dear Sir,  is totally unacceptable now on so many levels. Capitalisation suggesting shouting, Dear suggesting   an unhealthy familiarity and  Sir suggesting some sort of superiority and gender of the recipient.

I also guess that covering your ass with ‘Dear Sir or Madam,’ could lead to upset recipients. Dear and Sir have been covered and should a female – or someone identifying as female at that time – see Madam she/it could well be triggered by the implied suggestion that she’s been likened to the boss of a house of ill repute. It also doesn’t account for the other fifty or so genders of choice out there.  Or squirrels. It’s a problem. As a safety measure how about ‘To Whom It May Concern’? Still shouty. Anyhoo, I settled for ‘hay, you reading this,’.  No reply have I received at this time...

Let’s not get started on ending with Best Regards. How very dare you imply I may be deserving of anything but the best. Give me Yours Faithfully or Yours Sincerely every time. Hell, are those two even  ever used any more? Anyone under thirty know which to use when?

Quote;  E.A. Bucchianeri.

“You know something is wrong when the government declares opening someone else’s mail is a felony but your internet activity is fair game for data collecting.”

And Then, Worth A Watch...

Once again, thanks to the good Ripper, we have something to watch this evening as we know the TV output will be abysmal. I have to say those muzzles being churned out look spookily like the ones I see the majority of folk wearing. The second one? At least he can see where he’s going. And the third, I love it. English works on so many levels does it not.

Bringing up the rear, and like, totally off, like, topic, is a link I found somewhere else and features Nigel Mirage who demonstrates how easy a modern day invasion is to accomplish.  Strange to relate, our investigative seekers of truth in the MSM seem to have missed this. 

         

                       

Time to see wot could well be a line-up of those ‘in charge’ over here and sooner or later they need to be cut down...

             

Quote;  Dave Barry.

“Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.”

And Then A Hattrick...

Firstly, to state the obviously, I’m still here cluttering the place up; it’s just after the attack on my heart, putting together a regular Blog post has, surprisingly, slipped from one of my top three things to try and do daily. As indeed have the other two...

Anyhoo, I’ve typed before regarding the use of ‘well’ and ‘so’ and occasionally ‘but’ and how almost every answer offered up to any question just has to start with one of said words. But, like, joy of joys, the other day when some lady on TV, introduced, as so many of these talking heads are, as something along the lines of the Director of Fiscal Oversight for the Institute of something or other - and as a by-the-by, one has to wonder how many of these weirdly titled ‘Institutions’ there are out there, how many folk they employ and on wot salary levels, where their offices are with a door us lower order folk could knock on and, importantly, wot do they actually do? Who knows? Tell you one thing that’s probably a given; I bet us lower order folk pay for it all.

Anyhoo, I digress. She was asked a question and – BINGO – started her answer thus. “Well, so, er but...” then continued with a brief ramble round the English language. You beauty!

Before I sign-off, I’m guessing you all saw the photos over at Not A Lot Of People Know That that dramatically illustrate the catastrophic rise in sea levels over the past one hundred or so years? That’s really scary stuff right there!

Quote;  Bern Williams.

“I like the word ‘indolence.’ It makes my laziness seem classy.”

And Then, How Sweet...

I see there’s a bit of a brouhaha ongoing about the use of a word wot, until very recently, was primarily the name of a sweet and a line in an old book. So we’ve lost another word to the easily offended thanks to the, act before you think, Left. My view of the whole lot of ‘em ‘up there’? To quote Ebenezer Scrooge, bah, humbug. Censorship by stealth is with us and our not so subliminal conditioning continues apace.

I was reading round the Web this AM and came upon a great comment by Solly Gratia – thank you - over at Going Postal wot I’ve taken the liberty of pasting below. So many hurty words out there these days. However, teemed up with this lot, ‘humbug’ don’t sound so bad do it?

”I am advised that we racist, bigoted, far right, xenophobic, Islamophobic, gammon faced, coffin dodging, idiotic, lie believing, deluded, little England, Leavers need to moderate our language.”

Quote;  Tamora Pierce.

“’It's always better to attack than to defend,’ Coram had told her when they talked about fencing late at night. ‘Always. Ye don't win with defence - ye only hold the other feller off, or wear him down. Attack and have done with it!’”

And Then, An English Lesson...

I noted last week that Jacob-Ree-Smug fellow felt it necessary to issue his staff with a grammar guide. How, like, awesome is that then? That he found this was required suggests that our education system could still be heading backwards. I’m guessing his staff are all holders of a university degree, many probably of no actual use other than to say, ‘I’ve been to university’, which makes it all the sadder.

Then, from out of the blue, I discover that the perpetually offended, as they trawled through anything and everything to find something, anything to torment themselves and others with, have ‘discovered’ that snowflakes are offended by receiving one of they text message thingies that ends with a full stop. But I guess you all knew that. To quote:
Everyone knows that ending text messages with a full stop is unnecessarily harsh.
Hello? A full stop is harsh? Everyone knows that?  And the truly frightening thing about this sadness?
Scientists confirm: Ending your text messages with a full stop is heartless 
Hello? A full stop is heartless? Scientists researched this? Scientists? This is worthy of a scientific study? Who was the utter nutter that bankrolled this ‘study’?  Probably us, right?Anyhoo, if I ever receive a text, an idea that’s pretty high on my ‘it’ll never happen to me’ list – having said that, so was suffering a heart attack and look where that got me – I’ll be sure to end any required reply with a pair of exclamation marks. Boom!!

No idea how we got to where we are but to be on the safe side, I apologise to any passing perpetually offended and  snowflakes for any anguish I may have inadvertently caused you by my harsh and heartless scattering of full stops herein  That is all

And thus we come to a lesson in pronunciation.
WARNING: If the sight of a full stop stresses you, for the sake of your sanity, give this a miss. All others, enjoy:

Gerard Nolst Trenité.

“Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!”

Quote;  Lynne Truss.

“To those who care about punctuation, a sentence such as ‘Thank God its Friday’ (without the apostrophe) rouses feelings not only of despair but of violence. The confusion of the possessive ‘its’ (no apostrophe) with the contractive ‘it's’ (with apostrophe) is an unequivocal signal of illiteracy and sets off a Pavlovian ‘kill’ response in the average stickler.”

And Then, The Choice Of Words...

While out in the motor this morning and, surprisingly, paying more attention to the erratic manoeuvres of my fellow travellers than the radio, I did catch a snip, the context of which I missed. And that snip would’ve been, “...the children are enjoying fine spirits.” It crossed my mind that, rather than avoiding little girls driving big cars they can’t really handle whilst checking their hair is still looking cool, I’d rather be with those kids enjoying a selection of fine spirits. However, I’m guessing any parent who caught that might wonder exactly wot they’d allowed their precious little ones to get involve in.  

You think a more appropriate choice of words may have been something from a selection featuring ‘in’ and ‘high’?

Anyhoo, it do illustrate the importance of word selection in certain situations, especially if you happen to be a radio or TV reporter sort o’ person payed jolly well to get it perfectly PC.

That little clip reminded me of the old piece that illustrates perfectly the importance of capitalisation when writing or typing as it can result in the dramatic difference in meaning between ‘Helping your Uncle Jack off a horse’ and ‘Helping your uncle jack...’

Let’s give all that no never mind as the headline news today seems to be the escalation in the war on sugar. Never a day passes. How’s that no slippery slope thingy working out for you then? First they came for the smokers...

Quote;  Jackson Browne.

“Like, What is the least often heard sentence in the English language? That would be: ‘Say, isn't that the banjo player's Porsche parked outside?’”

And Then, Too Late...

That nice Head Rambles chap left a simple, almost one word, comment to last nights post that upset me no end as I should’ve thought of it while typing said post and made hay of it. So simple; and the word would be? Snowballs. And it never crossed my tiny mind. It’s just not fair - or is it fare? Or fee or fi or fo or fum or however you spell the damn word in that context.

Anyhoo, let’s not give that no never mind as it would seem snow-guys have had enough of being lambasted by various SJW types and assorted PC snowflakes out there and are starting to fight back and showing those sad folk exactly what they think of their loony toon ideas. Good luck to ‘em I say.

                       

Let’s have another repeat for all us old folk who remember fun in the snow. Happy school daze. You old folk remember how it was way before political correctness and health and safety were invented  to stifle any sense of adventure and fun?  In these ‘progressive’ days I doubt kids are even allowed out of the classroom if there’s any snow on the ground. Sad daze.

Quote;  Milton Jones.

“The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.”

And Then They Came For The Snowman...

Ran into a couple of ‘news’ items today that reaffirm my belief that the country is finished. If not finished then, for sure, in its final death throes. The blue bit below is from this piece:
   “Dr Tricia Cusack of Birmingham University; ...denounces the snowman as sexist (he's a man) and inherently racist (he's always white), is a prime example: "The snowman's masculinity, and its ritual location in the semi-public space of garden or field, help to substantiate an ideology upholding a gendered spatial/social system, marking women's proper sphere as the domestic/private and men's as the commercial/public."”
Assuming that’s even English, it confirms for me that these people are truly nuts. And what’s frightening is they no longer feel the need to hide in the shadows.

There is just a glimmer of hope though. Possibly there’s been a cunning escape and identity theft and the real Doctor Cusack is, as I type, frantically shouting from some padded cell trying to convince the nurses that she is, indeed, the real Doctor and an utter nutter got away.

That is it, right? Sorry to disappoint, there’s more and that would be from the Mind Bending Corporation, you may know it as the BBC, and this blue bit is from here:
  “The BBC have sparked a fierce debate after a new children's TV show used the term "snowpeople" instead of snowmen.
   “Catie Munnings, 20, who presents Catie's Amazing Machines on CBeebies, said during a recent episode: "Snow is amazing. You get to build snowpeople and go sledging."”

Hay you two loons and your enablers, it’s always been a snowman  and it’ll always be a snowman. Sadly, for some, snow’s white as well; get over yourselves or go build a coalman.

You see that slight rise in the road ahead? Just over that rise is the ban on the forming of any and all snow into lumps so as not to offend those of other, or confused, or undetermined gender and those that don’t identify as ol’ whitey. However, if someone identifies as a snowman... We’ll get back to you on that one.

Anyhoo, do you see how the MBC has tripped into a trap of their own making? MBC girly gushing about the fun to be had with snow while the MBC overall stance, that must be pushed at every opportunity, is that man made global warming is happening and will make snow here history.

I guess there’s a case to be made for a yearly nutters conference where such as the anti tobacco, anti this and anti fat, climate end of times folk and all the other fringe nutters get together and thrash out the nuttery to be perused through the following year and agree a line of attack so’s not to keep trampling over nuttery with contradictory nuttery that just makes them all look totally nuts.

Quote;  Vesta M. Kelly.

“Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.”

And Then, Warp Factor...

Seems the MSM and the BBC especially, have enacted warp factor big number regarding something to do with the UK leaving the EU and how very, very bad that will prove to be.

Seems we’re doomed on so many levels if we actually and totally leave the EU whatever that means in English. I don’t profess to having a wonderous grasp of geography but wot I do be remembering, from my lifetime spent roaming this globe, is that there are more countries outside than inside the EU and they all seem to sell and buy stuff. Really, they do.

Anyhoo, the doom and gloom today from the BBC, who seem to have been showing it every ten minutes, is courtesy of the IMF and their predicted total collapse of just about everything here. This has been fronted by that lady Lagarde – I wouldn’t buy a fudge bar from her by-the-by.  A lady who should, in our world, be introduced as that old lag Lagarde but, unlike you or I, she avoided gaol even though found guilty. Funny old world eh?

In other news it’s mind bending to see some high ranking police person is under investigation for using the phrase ‘whiter than white’ during a briefing to other officers. Say wot now? So whiter than white is now verboten. Hopefully, not when typed and only verboten when spoken. The investigation is expected to take a year at a cost of... Is there any way back from all this madness?

Not enough for you? ‘Sugar spoon’ is, allegedly, also on the naughty list as it rhymes with something. Hay, hang on a speechless moment there; don’t all words rhyme with something? With the possible exception of ‘orange’? 
“What rhymes with ‘orange’?”
”No it doesn’t...”
To make this stuff up would be exceedingly difficult.

All I can say is the toon below needs deleting from the Inter-Web  this very second – if not sooner. A classic which is, spookily, sung by singers of colour.

          

To add a bit o’ bad ass balance, try the track below before it’s banned. May have featured here before. A fine blues number and yet again performed by a fellow of colour.
VERY MPORTANT NOTE: This is absolutely NOT for Timidadians or those of a modern day media induced nervous disposition as there are depictions of tobacco and alcohol usage, folk cavorting outrageously, references to violence and of course the use of some jolly naughty words. 
TIMIDADIANS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, OKAY?

         

Okay Timidadians, you can come out from under your beds now. The toon below is a damn great toon but see how the lyrics, penned years ago, reflect the state we’re in today.

           

Quote;  Ambrose Bierce.

“BELLADONNA, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.”

            Vera Nazarian.

“Each letter of the alphabet is a steadfast loyal soldier in a great army of words, sentences, paragraphs, and stories. One letter falls, and the entire language falters.”

And Then, Watch What You Say...

I see some young chap in charge of a country, after a lady mentioned ‘mankind’, remonstrated with her and suggested the word ‘peoplekind’ should be used. Amazingly, this little fellow is the Prime Minister of a country the same size as Canada. He’s what? It is Canada? Oh dear... Seems the bad boy is now wriggling and passing it off as a naughty boy joke.

How long before using a simple salutation such as ‘good morning’ will result in some sort of frenzied response such as, ‘How very dare you wish me a good morning! What gives you the right to assume it’s a good morning for me? I need my safe space right now!’

Talk of Canada sent me spinning back to the time when man’s boat I was on back then sprang a leak and we had to pull into St Johns, Newfoundland for emergence repairs, as you do when you’re sinking with two thousand tons of iron ore on board. Anyhoo, if you think you know a few folk who like to party hearty, trust me, those Newfies take it to whole different level so let’s have a little bit of Great Big Sea.

All numbers obviously benefit from the use of head phones or lug-buds. The first track is for the world we’re presently having to cope with; Bring on the Clowns, The Jokers and Buffoons.

         

Then we’ll partake of a glass or several of the Old Black Rum.

        

You wanna go mermaid hunting? 
DEFCON 1 TIMIDADIAN ALERT

        

Paddy’s last party? TIMIDADIAN caution advised.

        

That is it for Great Big Sea but while browsing YouTube for the closing number I ran into this  and it follows right on from the above number. Darkly hilarious. DEFCON 3 TIMIDADIAN ALERT:

        

DEFCON 5 TIMIDADIAN ALERT SQUARED: Below is also NOT Great Big Sea and is NOT for the even slightly easily offended or any with even a hint of timidity about them as it goes totally against all present PC, thought and speech conventions and as such may well soon be thrown into the bin of the forbidden. However it does announce the end of this musical interlude fairly succinctly. Man, where did the years go since I first heard this one? Tell you wot, it was a lot of years before that double-u double-u double-u thingy got glued together. Have a great weekend b’y.

        

Quote; Newfie Speak.

“Stay where you’re to ‘til I comes where you’re at.”

Translation: Stay where you are until I get there.

And Then A Scrub Up...

Not too much time today as I’m up to my neck with all kinds of something to do. Nothing worthy of a mention here – unless it all goes pear shaped of course.

Other than that non-entry, there’s an interesting bit at Breitbart relating to the kid wot did the Munich shooting and the reluctance of the good ol’ BBC, that bastion of truthful and factual reportage, to mention the Ali bit of the boys name but rather, by hook or by crook, avoid Ali or relegate it and stick with David.

As a by-the-by, how do these young bucks manage to get hold of a hand gun, three hundred rounds and also hack Facebook? All done while, apparently, suffering with mental health issues. It must be, like, totally awesome to be nuts these days.

Anyhoo, in relation to the Breitbart bit, there was a comment at Guido Fawkes, apologies to the originator, Bob Fleming, for the theft thereof,  that I thought summed it all up quite nicely;
“Ali Mohammed Jihadi Fatwa Bongo - or 'Jim' as the BBC like to call him.”

Quote;  J. K. Rowling.

“Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”

And Then There’s A Gateway....

Head Rambles has a post up relating to Puritans and that word they love so much, ‘normalise’; the usage of said word I attempted to tear-up a while ago in relation to the WHO and e-cigarettes. 

There is, however, another word that they’ve hijacked and are wont to use at the drop of a hint of a personal hate; ‘gateway’.

Everything anyone does, in the minds of the Timidadians, can be perceived to be a gateway towards something they have decided is jolly well bad. Even evil. These people are so twisted and scream ‘gateway’ so often that, eventually, the innocent gateway action will become as heinous an act as the act they declare the innocent act is a gateway to. And you just know, come what may, they’re going to keep moving the gateway.

I’ll stop there to re-normalise myself as I’m getting confused with wots good and wots not in ‘gateway’ world.

Talking of gateways, you seen this? It’s interesting to see the department in question is the Department of Energy and Climate Change. That, in itself, says so very much does it not? I say again, this is a country that had an empire? And it was built without door usage manuals? How could that be? Or do you reckon all that history stuff’s just made-up?

You still with me? I do hope so as I don’t want to be alone as the puritans continue to attempt to herd us towards the gateway of hell on earth.

Quote;  H. L. Menken.

“Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

And Then A Naughty Word….

Okay, that’s the outside bit of where I live snuffed up and squared away for the inclement weather season so I’m sat sitting here with the ol’ laptop on my, yup, you guessed it, lap.

I noted the other day that young Dave Cummerbund took a trip to Scotland and it was widely reported that, to sound like he’s one of the boys, used the ‘ef’ word. This, as reported by the Daily Mash, confused the locals no end.

Dave, don’t be shy; it’s just a few perfectly normal letters arranged to be what’s been decreed to be a naughty word. A word that seems to be getting less naughty and more widely used with every passing day.

Anyhoo, with Dave being all risqué an’ all, my brain took one of those time travel thingies it does from time to time and I remembered what was quite possibly the first attachment I received via e-mail.

I well remember the excitement upon receiving my first attachment and the two weeks or so figuring out what to do with it to make it open. This was a long time ago.

Guess what? It’s still out there and so I thought I’d link to it to give Dave a little insight into the ‘ef’ word he’s now obviously been emboldened to bandy about.

This is a really big Foggy warning; are you a Timidadian? Click ye not; for verily ye will feel ill for a fortnight!!

Okay, it’s an old one but it still works.

Quote;  James Rozoff. 

“Vulgarity is like a fine wine: it should only be uncorked on a special occasion, and then only shared with the right group of people.”