26 Feb 2017

And Then More of The Same...

Further to the post in relation to the recent Around The Toilet study and believing that would be that, I ran into this bit at Breitbart this AM which pretty well left me speech and typless. A Queer Dance Freakout?

A taster:
The troupe protested a bill in the Texas Legislature that would require men and women to use bathrooms and dressing rooms designated to the sex on their birth certificate.

You start to think that an all out nuclear world war may not be such a bad idea after all...

Quote;  Dexter Gordon.

“In nuclear war all men are cremated equal.”

24 Feb 2017

And Then Doris...

It came and it blew through. Just waiting for my T-shirt now emblazoned with the legend that I Survived Doris. Both Day And Storm.

Did you see those intrepid reporters on TV wobbling about on some seafronts? Deserted seafronts. A storm like that, when I was a pup, was cause for great rejoicing. Especially if the high winds were blowing onshore and coincided with the top o’ the tide. We would stand a-top the seawall and the last fellow to retreat before the next big wave made contact with the wall was the hero of that wave. As the tide retreated we’d wend our way home very happy and looking like drowned rats. I ask again, whatever happened to all the fun in the world? When, exactly, was it all banned? And by whom?

There’s a nice piece relating to Doris over at the Spectator but wot caught my eye amongst the comments was the comment and response reproduced below with the usual apologies to the originators:

Big Brother is trying to sensationalise our weather in order to create the impression that it is becoming more extreme. All part of the man-made climate change scam.

Exactly so.
"Storm Doris indeed"!
What next, "Light Breeze with Chance of Rain Edna"?

In other news I see that the RBS bank has lost seven billion pounds. How can that possibly happen? I mean a bank is a place for us to keep our money, right? I pay in some money, they take it and then go to the vault, find the box with my name on it and put my money inside my box, right? I’m not sure, but there’s probably a little whiteboard thingy on each box so’s they can keep a running total of the contents of the boxes. So how can they possibly lose seven billion dabs?

If they’ve lost it in the manner I suspect then all I can say is shame on the bank staff. For heavens sake people!! Lock the damn place up when you go home at days end!!  That’s the vault, the doors AND the windows, okay? Man! How hard can it be?


“On your resume you wrote that for 3 years you worked as a pianist in a brothel.”
“Hmm, actually, I was a banker, but I don’t like to talk about it.”


21 Feb 2017

And Then A Bit Of This...

...and a bit of that. The first bit is a comment from I remember not where but it gave me light relief after all the usual suspects telling one and all who voted out that they are uneducated and had no idea what they were voting for. My thanks to the original author Stasi-Fantasi. Nice one.

   “I would like to point out that most of the people who voted Remain, did so without knowing what they were voting for:
   They were told that they were preventing an immediate, profound economic collapse, a self-imposed recession, WW3, the loss of 4 million jobs, bodies piling up in the streets, the loss of all foreign trade, manufacturers fleeing the country, increased global warming, the cessation of all inward investment, a cruel 'punishment budget', global pandemonium, a banking collapse, slashed wages, etc.
   These reluctant Remain voters were shamelessly and repeatedly lied to.
   Who speaks for them?”

Following on from that cracker is this bit wot I copied from the Guardian. Yeah, I know but sometimes, when comments are allowed, it can be a fun place. Anyhoo, the article relates to a BBC program about our glorious House of LardArses.

   In a programme broadcast by the BBC on Monday night, Paul Tyler, a former Liberal Democrat chief whip who now sits in the Lords as a life peer, called the institution the “best day care centre for the elderly in London”.
He said: “Families can drop him or her in and make sure that the staff will look after them very well, nice meals subsidised by the taxpayer, and they can have a snooze in the afternoon in the chamber or in the library.”

Now that made me smile loudly. That, for me, was the best bit but the full thingy can be found under this blue bit and let’s be honest, we’d all do it, right? Expense your way to the chamber and sign in seven days a month - that’s a month; not a week - have a snooze then catch up with old friends in the subsidised dining room and bar before heading home via expenses. Who’d say no to that then?

Quote;  Donald Soper.

“The quality of debate in the House of Lords is pretty high and it is, I think, good evidence of life after death”

18 Feb 2017

And Then A Break...

Let’s take a break from the MSM vilification of Trumpton and that UKIP nutter. UKIP? These folk want to be leaders of men, they’re looking at an election open goal and one has to assume they’re cleaver people and yet they fail to grasp the simple fact that the establishment will be pouring over every word they ever utter, every word they ever type and are probably paying the best psychics in the business to read their thoughts so as to discredit and belittle them at every opportunity and still they seem to sit up and just beg for a bruising. Ah shacks ma heed.

Anyhoo, what the hay, it’s Saturday and I’m betting you’ll be heading out to sink a few so sink ‘em with this fine old ditty doodling round your head.

Timidadian warning; it may start off pretty innocently but, trust me, it winds up jolly naughty. Never mind; you probably won’t do the clicky bitty as it features yourself. Yup, it’s The Man Who Hates Beer. Again I think; sorry. Have fun tonight. You UKIP high-up fellows? Get a grip for heavens sake.


Here’s one for old times sake.


Oh, come on!! Smile, you know you want to...

Quote;  G. W. Bush.

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

17 Feb 2017

And Then, Under Pressure...

It was a fine day yesterday so I decided, with a hint of pressure from my little nest of vipers, to pressure wash the paving and path areas ready for summer.

Now I have to say that my pressure washer isn’t the most up to date model available and doesn’t even rate a mention on the history of pressure washer pages on the Web. I doubt one would even turn up on the Antiques Roadshow, or as it’s known as in Norfolk, Tomorrows World.

Anyhoo, away I went and the little beast was doing fine ‘till it came to the last area of the very last area when he done did die. I left him for an hour in case it was an overheat cut-out. No it wasn’t. Okay, change the plug fuse, right? Not the fuse in the beast, not the extensions fuse nor the main board. With no way to open the guy to explore his innards, I declared him dead.

What to do? Tweet Trumpton? Badger Blair? And who rattled his cage by the way? He is confined to a cage, right? No, a little Jays Fluid, a deck scrubber and a couple of hours exertion will get it. She wasn’t too impressed with this but did a pretty good job between womanly whining. Me? I handled the backbreaking hosing off operation. As required.

All done but it’s nowhere near as clean looking as the pressure washed area but it’ll pass for now. Shiny shopping on the horizon I guess.

Quote;  Donald Trump. 

“People assume I'm a boiler ready to explode, but I actually have very low blood pressure, which is shocking to people.”

13 Feb 2017

And Then, A Flat Box...

It came to pass I needed to send something via mail that required packing in a box. We were in town so I popped into one of they leading stationary suppliers and located a flat, build it yourself box for three dabs.

Later, while my little nest of vipers was indulging her hobby of seeing how much unrequired stuff she could cram into a basket at a pound store, I chanced to see the self-same flat box for, yup, a pound. Damn!

Anyhoo, have you ever had any dealings with one of these boxes? No? If you ever do, trust me, they’re as much, if not more fun as flat-pack furniture. Yes, there are clear instructions relating to the nip, tuck and folding order but sadly these became cunningly hidden after the first fold of my box. Damn!

I done did get him built and then one more thing became apparent; you need about twenty rolls of sticky tape to prevent it from reverting to flat mode as soon as anything’s placed inside the box. Oh, and do all the addressing while it’s flat or you’ll discover you’ve sticky taped over the address areas and you know how hard it is to write on shiny sticky tape, right? Damn!

It was quite expensive to mail owing to the weight and I put that down to the amount of sticky tape used. Damn!

It’s amazing where you find adventure in old age is it not?

Quote;  Ryan Lilly.

“The irony of sensory deprivation tanks is that in order to think outside the box, you must first go inside one.”