19 Oct 2014

And Then, Stone Me….

A little over a couple of weeks ago, we got the garden ready for winter. Remember? No? Not to worry. Anyhoo, the recent post relating to shopping triggered an explosion of neurons in my swede – okay a very low energy sort of ‘pop’.

Wot came after the small pop? The beginning of everything?Not quite, but with the shopping thingy an’ all the baskets and trollies involved I remembered that while doing the garden I found, with my left big toe, a large stone that looked like it’d been scratched on. I didn’t pay it any great attention and dumped it round by my multiple trash bins.

Today, Having had my mind popping moment which triggered a shopping trolley recollection, I went down behind the shed, where the multiple trash bins are hidden, to take another look at the chunk o’ rock.

The markings did look strangely familiar but I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I’m sure it’s of no consequence or import.

I did, however, take a photo of said stone before breaking it up with a heavy hammer and dumping the bits in a bag in a bin. {I may be going to gaol later in the week as it’s probably the wrong bin.}


Hay, it was just a stone with strange weathering marks, right? Whatever, it’s in bits in a bag in a bin now so we can all move on……

Okay, okay, It’s an old one but people who’ve been through the Mirror before will know that what it lacks in originality, it more than makes up for that lack with……. er, with….. I’ll get back to you on that one.

Quote;  Terry Pratchett.

“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”

             Robert Orben.

“In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.”

18 Oct 2014

And Then A Hobby….

My little nest of vipers has a new hobby. You’re probably thinking, good for her. Sadly, this hobby includes me and my ever thinning wallet as wot she gone and done is discover those pound stores. Okay so far as there truly is a bunch of stuff in there that’ll save you money but let me present an example of her hobby relating to a pound store.

Three days ago we were mooching round a pound store as we wanted ordinary household bleach but what she spotted was a stainless-steel, small sized colander.
”Look! Look! Only a pound and if you buy two you get another one free!!” With mounting excitement she placed three stainless-steel colanders in the shopping basket.
”We’ve got one.” was all I could muster at that moment.
”That’s a big one – this be small for small things.”
”Won’t small stuff fit in the big one then?” I asked, getting into the swing of things.
”Not as nice as it will fit in this small one. This will save water as well!” she countered.
”These small ones. The word is ‘These’ not ‘this’. You’re getting three. Oh, and see the holes? They let the water run through. Water doesn’t stay inside, remember?”
”Okay, theees small ones. ” said with a hint of uncertainty.
”That’s as close as it’s going to get I guess. Anyway, we need three? I mean, really, three? I’m betting a small city centre noodle eatery doesn’t have three small colanders – stainless-steel or plastic.”
”If I break one I will have spare ones.”
”You’re going to break a stainless-steel colander? I definitely need to be there when you manage that!  I know I’ll be wasting my time here, but why not just get one if having a small colander is suddenly so important?”
“Why, when If I get two I get a free one. What is problem?” She asked – puzzled.
”Well, the long term storage of two while waiting for you to break one springs to mind.” I replied with a smug smile. 
“I’ll throw the old big one away then.”
”The old one? Two points become semi-obvious to me. The big one, as old as he be, isn’t broken – and never will be by the way, and what happens when you need to colanderize something big?”
”You stupid? Who knows when big one may break. And If I have something big to put in, I will have two and one free small ones to spread it over.” An ear to ear grin accompanied this statement. I could have continued but by this time they were impatiently waiting to close the store.

Outwardly, I sighed resignedly as we and our stainless-steel colanders jangly jogged to the check-out. I was, however, smiling

Heading home with our bountiful collection of stainless-steel colanders, we realized that in ‘our’ three for two pounds excitement, we’d forgotten the bleach.

On the up-side{?} we are now the proud owners of three small and one large colanders, the large one which, through good design and only ever being used for its intended purpose, has survived, totally undamaged, for countless years.

Thus, she got her ‘bargain’. As, indeed, did I. For where-else could I get similar entertainment such as that for just two pounds?

At time of typing, no colanders have been used……

Quote; Kin Hubbard.

“Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.”

17 Oct 2014

And Then The Real Deal….

There follows a party political broadcast on behalf of any and all of ‘em;

Quote;  Cal Thomas.

“One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are.”

            Milton Friedman.

“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand.”

14 Oct 2014

And Then, Education….

Lighten your load this grey evening and enjoy the vid below. The line I like? Question; The year Columbus discovered America. One answer; The sixties? Another favourite; Er, 1940’s? You gotta Love it!


You think the answers would be any better this side of the pond? Not a chance. I’m sure the answers would be just as, like, far out an’ that.

Quote;  George Orwell.

“The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.”

12 Oct 2014

And Then A Sunday Sing-a-Long-a-Song….

Recovery mode has now started full-time as the last, solo, ladder jobbies are now complete. The last jobby? The painting of the rendered sections of the exterior walls. All done and ready for winter now. Oh, wait a minute! When do you cut back roses?  More to the point, do I really care? The ladders from Hell will be collected on Monday and to celebrate I may hang bunting. Or the ladder fellow.

In other news; Dave, as young as you be, I felt sure you’d be familiar with the old Edgar Hoover saying concerning enemies, tents and urination but apparently not as I see that the guy you kicked out of your tent a little bit after a while ago is now starting to pour problems into your tent.  Mr Booker does his thing also.

You going to call Crazy Davey in for one of they Cobra lookin’ dealy-bobs? It’s just one damn thing after another eh Dave.

I feel the current protests by dairy farmers may be pretty pointless as, according to that article, “……..to hit the target Britain must build 2,500 wind turbines every year for 36 years.” How cool is that! Then add the plans to build, what, one or two hundred thousand houses a year over the next forever and there just won’t be any room for a bunch of cows and that green stuff they seem to like eating anyway.

Anyhoo, here’s a song I’m guessing you, like me, can instantly relate to. Happy days!

Quote;  Bill Bryson.

“Sometimes it rained, but mostly it was just dull, a land without shadows. It was like living inside Tupperware.”

10 Oct 2014

And Then A Little Upset….

Mr Mirage and all your buddies, congratulations and party hearty people! So that’s officially the first thorn in the side of the big house. 

Mr Cummerbund; how’s that swivel-eyed fruitcakes thingy working out for ya? You had but one thing to remember, ‘engage brain to avoid pain’ and you blew it.

Mr Strangelybland; how’s that only taking votes from the Con party thingy working out for ya?  Hay, what did you say on TV today? You realise everyone’s disillusioned with Westminster? Man, that boy’s as sharp as a tack!

Mr Cringe; Yo, Mr Cringe! Helloooo! Mr Cringe! Nobody there? Oh well. He’s probably chilling with Kim Jim-unseen…..

Anyhoo, are we all ready for days an’ days of ‘lessons learned’, ‘we need to communicate our ideas better’ and all the other stock clich├ęs?  And Dave, do stop telling us that if people vote for that lot it’ll let Mr Strangelybland into 10 Down-and-Out Street. Next time you shave Dave – you are old enough to shave, right? check out that lad looking back at you through the fog. That’s the naughty boy who threw the door open for Eddy.

On top of all that, we’ll have the good ol’ unbiased  BBC with its relentless ‘reassuring’ that this result’s an aberration and only a ‘protest’ vote and it’ll be alright on the night next May after the population have given their collective head a jolly good shake, as instructed, and got back in line.

With regards to the listening and communicating stuff, as little as our elite get out and about, if they did happen to pop into any of our city, or indeed town centres, I feel they would soon become a tad disconcerted upon finding their ability to listen to the people or communicate their ideas to the people was being severely hampered by that ol’ language barrier.

Quote;  Bertrand Russell.

“Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them.”