5 Dec 2016

And Then, Redneck Rich...

This is a long preamble to a toon, so sorry in advance, and came to pass with the remembrance of the phrase that runs something like, “Money isn’t important unless you don’t have any.”

About a hundred years ago – and isn’t it sad when you get to an age that you can use that phrase with a margin of error of only thirty years or so – I remember a friend who, out of the blue, announced he was going to buy a car and after a little shopping around noted the average down payment required and started saving for said payment; as you did back in the day.

Eventually he announced he had reached his goal but liked the fact he had money in the bank and that if he used those funds he would be back down to a pound so decided to continue saving ‘till he had double the funds available.

Upon reaching that second goal thought he to himself, ‘If I keep going, I can buy a car without the need for any form of loan.’

Continue saving he indeed did, but the old problem surfaced yet again; sufficient funds accumulated but if I buy a car I’m back to a pound in the bank so I’ll keep saving so I can buy a car and still have money in the bank.

At somewhere around age forty he had an extremely healthy bank account. He’s never owned or missed having a car.

In turn that memory took me in search of a song to suit and below is wot I found which fits the bill pretty well. This type of music may not be to your taste, pretty neat guitar work all the same, and you may not be familiar with the works of Big Smo but just slide past the sound and latch onto the lyrics of which this bit in blue is a bit of the chorus; a chorus that you could adjust to suit your own situation. Or I guess you could ask Alexa to do that for you...

I got a glass bottomed boat
and a four wheel drive
John Deere mower
and a side by side...
...And I own everything inside my fence
yeah I'm redneck rich.

That toon got me thinking that maybe most of us, despite limited material possessions, are still wealthier than the wildest dreams of so many. So happy we should be.
“Hay Alexa, are you happy?”
”What? Happy? I’m a talking tin can for heavens sake!!”
Anyhoo, enjoy the toon. Especially Rickey down there in Mississippi. Keep the faith good buddy.


Quote;  Immanuel Kant.

“We are not rich by what we possess but by what we can do without.”

3 Dec 2016

And Then Another Farewell...

And so Andrew Sachs bows out. He may have left us but I doubt his light will dim. Sleep well and thank you.

As all the old generation of comics and comic actors depart, very soon we’ll only have the new generation left. Those who consider it cleaver and edgy and progressive to use a profanity for every third word rather than used infrequently, with slick timing and hammer-like effect.

If memory serves, back in the day, Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown very rarely resorted to the use of any profanity. On the off-chance I’ve got that wrong, Timidadians? Look away now and if you’re a SJW or a member of the LGTBIHGYSD community, a millennial, a snowflake or of an alphabetically or binary designated persuasion I may not be aware of at this time, just move quickly onwards. However, anyone with a sense of humour, have a smile a while.

Last chance and having said all that, all you aforementioned folk, if you do find your curiosity is getting the better of you and you’re just itching to have a click, please ensure that before - and that’s important - BEFORE you click you have a friend with you who’s fully conversant with the purpose and use of a defibrillator.


Endingly, I caught a lovely line on the Fox channel the other evening used by the program anchor during a discussion regarding how the losers can take any success of the winners and put a negative spin on that success. He said that the opponents of Jesus, when they saw him walk on water, stated, “But, but, but look! He got his feet wet!” I liked that.

Quote;  Thomas Carlyle.

“No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence.”

2 Dec 2016

And Then, Listen...

If you do nothing else this evening, please go over to the Coffee House and have a listen to that new lady Lib Dem MP being interviewed on the radio by Julia Hartley-Brewer and marvel in awe at the stunning calibre of those that would rule over us.

Do you feel poor Sarah Olney’s pain or are you, like me, laughing too hard?

I could add a bit about her photo in relation to pillars of stone but that would be grossly unfair.

Quote;  Miles Anthony Smith.

“Our career mantra should be learn, relearn, repeat.”

1 Dec 2016

And Then They Keep Coming...

Seems that despite that Brexit thingy supposedly ending in a country of doom, folk are still flocking here in ever slightly increasing numbers and some talking-head on TV today said that the UK workplace needs people but quickly passed on the fact that there’s something like one and a half million people here that are presently unemployed.

Man, what are we aiming for here? A carwash for every car? A specialist sprout picker for every individual sprout? The Big Issue delivered to every door daily? You remember that Home Secretary wot said they’d be bringing down the numbers? What was her name again? How’s that working out?

Anyhoo, how could this all play out? You would think those ‘up there’ could put two and two together and figure out that now the purple party has a new normal talking leader and that particular party took four million votes last time out, they should be able to work out that if ‘they’ try too hard to mess with Leaving the EU and folk see ever longer queues at doctors, schools and such, with ever increasing traffic congestion with many cars being driven by no license, new comer chancers, “You do what now? You drive on what side?” it could well result in a huge chunk of those seventeen plus million who voted Leave and probably many, many more now if you were to include those totally disenchanted with the playground antics of our ‘betters’, all looking for a new box for their cross and the  purple party could well become the ‘look you straight in the eye, straight talkin’ purple people eating party’. Now that really would be establishment melt-down time would it not?

Purple People Eaters? Careful Timidadians, they’re out there...

Quote;  Adlai Stevenson.

“I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.”

29 Nov 2016

And Then, Nothing Fancy...

Thus it came to pass that The Nutty Professor has taken over from Mr Mirage and, yet again, the establishment will be head butting brick walls wondering how to deal with this normal person who communicates successfully with his audience just by speaking in normalees.

Our cleaver journalists, and I use  the word cleaver guardedly as witnessed by the on-line headline way below, will also be a bit lost as, speaking in normalees, he leaves little to no room for them to make stuff up, or to twist stuff along the lines of, “However, it’s obvious that what he really meant when he said that was...{insert reporters personal political point of view}” As a by-the-by it seems a reporter in this day and age is anyone over twenty {optional} who can type a sentence without falling into txt type typing by slipping in the occasional LOL, or speak a short sentence without a single use of the word  ‘like’.

Anyhoo, all those Labour folk and all the other usual suspects must be in total despair at this news as it comes hot on the heels of the other news that one of their mass murdering heroes has finally dropped off the planet. Talking of ‘hot on the heels’ one assumes that that fellow’s heels are, indeed, getting hotter by now.

First rattle out o’ the box from a Loopy was something along the lines that shortly before Mr Nutella was born, he wanted to privatise the NHS. Poor, poor Leftistanians. Could it get any worse for them? You know what? Given a little time, I do believe it could.

“Mark Field plays down Brexit memo and insists Theresa May DOES has 'serious' strategy.”  Good to know Maybe does has a strategy. I was started for thinking she didn’t has some. Hay, we all make mistakes but most of us aren’t paid huge amounts of money to make ‘em.

Quote;  ??

"The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts."

27 Nov 2016

And Then, Leaf Law...

I’m quietly confident yesterday was the last leaf raking day for this year and it’s left me with a question.

The road wot we live down is heavily tree-lined and although these trees aren’t of the very big, light blocking type, they do play host to an awful lot of leaves. Not sure what type  they really are, trees that is, I know what a leaf is, but, owing to their red through to pale pink springtime blossom, I call ‘em cherry blossom trees. No, I’ve never seen a cherry on ‘em.

When these trees burst into blossom, the road looks quite spectacular but this colour show always seems to herald the start of strong winds so the show soon becomes a snow show of blown blossom.

Okay, that was the boring preamble to this post. Hang on. On reflection, me knowing wot I’m going to type next, the above may well be the high point of this post.

During leaf gathering season, the question I ask myself is what mysterious law of nature comes into play when, after gathering a pile of fallen leaves, you attempt to pick them up to put them in you trash bag.

There are many methods of leaf collection. The two board trap method favoured by those Timidadians who’re scared of creepy-crawlies, the two handed scoop method as used by kids in far away places to drink worm infested pool water for TV begging adverts and the one handed grab, clench and swear method favoured by the impatient.

No matter which method I use, and I’ve tried them all except vacuuming,** they all result in no more than sixty percent of ‘em make it to the trash bag. How come a goodly percentage of the other forty percent magically end up back roughly where they were prior to even the gathering process and those that don’t get that far are exactly where they were when my lifting manoeuvre commenced?

There are also those that defy all and every attempt to be ‘collected’ at all by any means and just stubbornly stay where they are. Pinch ‘em, nip at ‘em, take a grab at ‘em complete with soil beneath ‘em but they just refuse to be ‘collected’. You been there or is it just down to my poor grasp of leaf grabbing techniques?

I put it down to woodland fairy magic as I do most things that don’t go my way first time for no apparent reason. However, it can now be blamed on Brexit and Trumpton as, indeed, are all things requiring even a minute measure of blame.

**I wonder if my little nest of vipers would like a leaf vac for Christmas? I need to be very careful with that idea as I well remember my big surprise gift of an ironing board wasn’t too well received.

Quote;  Homer Simpson.

“I’d be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.”