12 Feb 2016

And Then, The Fat Of The Land....

I spotted  an interesting comment this morning. Please note I specified ‘this morning’ and, it now being this evening, I have no idea where I spotted it. It’s a miracle I remember it at all.

Wait! What’s going on here? I just looked up from my screen and everything’s changed perspective! Ah-ha!! I see what’s happened; I’ve slid off the sofa again. I’ll re-group and be back in a moment.

This slip was one of those ‘Armageddon’ moments that sent me back so many years to the clip far below. If you’re a Timidadian, it’s not for you. If you do blunder on, you’ll see a picture of a burning match. Please be assured that this has nothing to do with the igniting of any tobacco products.

Right, that comment. From the little I remember it related to that BBC program, Question Time, and apparently a panel member went on and on about the proliferation of food banks. Seems we now have thousands upon thousands of ‘em as  a ridiculously huge, and ever increasing number of people can’t afford food.

The commenter was interested in the correlation between the strangely conflicting information we get fed {pun?}. On the one hand we hear from many un-elected rent seekers that food banks in this country are proliferating at an alarming rate and, spookily, on the other hand we are bombarded by the vociferous warnings from other un-elected rent seekers that the level of obesity in this country is escalating and reaching epidemic proportions. Interesting observation.

Yesterday I had occasion to phone the National Lottery. Pardon? No, nothing like that. I had a problem feeding the on-line account. Pardon? No, just one go per game and so far so bad; as expected.

Anyhoo, I encountered an error message during the funding frenzy and gave them a ring to clarify the error and amazingly found myself talking to a pleasant sounding lady first rattle out of the box resulting in the ‘problem’ being resolved right quick.

The nice lottery lady asked if there was anything else she could help me with and, as I wasn’t really firing on all jets, replied lamely, “No thanks, that’s all. Oh, could you give me the next winning numbers please?”
”Sorry, no I can’t.” she replied, “If I did that I’d have to share the money with you and I really don’t want to do that.”
I hope she could hear my smile.
The nice lottery lady closed with, “Goodbye and good luck with your draws.”
To which I replied, now firing on all jets, ”Thanks. I’m sure these new draws of mine will fit far better after a couple of washes. Bu-by.”

The sound of her smile made my day. As did finding this clip after all these years. Yes, it’s been featured here before but what the hay, it just never gets old. Whoa!! I told you before, it’s NOT for you Timidadians, okay? Move along.

            

Quote;  Sarah Spann.

“You got up off the bathroom floor. That’s a start. Now, just stay off the floor. After all—aside from winning the lottery—all any of us can ever really hope for is more days spent standing tall than spent in pieces on the floor.”

10 Feb 2016

And The It Comes To Pass....

Remember a little bit after a while ago I posted a bit of foil hat foolery?

...what’s the chance, should we get a warmish summer, there’ll be an ‘official’ global warming skin cancer scare relating to soft skinned European ladies? Any chance the health ‘recommendation’ will be that they should stay indoors but if they do venture outside they should cover as much skin as possible in very cool, loosely flowing, head-to-toe, dark garments? 

Well, you may still be laughing regarding that farfetched hypotheses but thanks to The View from Cullingworth and Nanny Knows Best I can now link to the precursor to the fulfillment of the contents of my gibbering post for your perusal. Still Laughing?

See? That didn’t take long did it? Nudge, nudge. And the next nudge? To get your vitamin D, sunbathe, an arm at a time, in the privacy of your own garden where it’s easy to run inside should you feel an overdose coming on but you MUST cover-up if venturing away from the safety and shelter of your home, right? Trust me, it’s on the ‘drawing board’. Not so damn funny now is it?

Quote;  Noel Coward.

“Sunburn is very becoming, but only when it is even - one must be careful not to look like a mixed grill”

9 Feb 2016

And Then The Threat....

Further to yesterdays post, and to put it in a nutshell, Dave Cummerbund has either admitted he’s incapable of policing our borders or  he’s threatening us with open borders if we don’t vote to remain shackled to the EU. As a commenter over at Order – Order so nicely put it,
"We must stay in the EU because we can't guard a tunnel 70 feet in diameter."

There’s a nice letter to young Dave composed by and displayed at Scribblings from Seaham. I’ve been checking back on a regular basis but to date there’s no news of a reply or acknowledgement of receipt. How weird is that? It should be along in the next couple of days or so though as folk like Dave, having had the benefits of a privileged upper-class upbringing, and a super education, are far too well mannered and polite not to respond to the concerns of the very people who are basically employing him. Have I got that about right? Pardon? Oh, right.

Here’s something else I’m very late with. You are, I know, familiar with Desiderata, and I trust you read it regularly, but over at Gates of Vienna is Desiderata For Our Time glued together by Seneca III, Middle England, 28th of January in this the year of our Lord 2016.
Not sure how you find out about copyright for such a work, but, in my humble opinion, it’s well worth spreading far and wide. If only the link.

Quote;  Bill Maher.

“Now, don't get me wrong, I think border security is important. And I have no doubt that the Republican plan for turning our southern border into The Hunger Games will put a stop to the number one threat facing America today — illegal cleaning ladies.”

8 Feb 2016

And Then, What To Think....

David Cummerbund says prisons should be places of hope. Dave, they are already. The first thing you think when you get banged up is, “I hope I get out early.”

David Cummerbund says that if we leave the EU we’ll have Calais jungle camps in Kent. Dave, you understand the concept of border controls? You know, where you show your passport and visa and if you can’t you’re kicked right back to where you came from? As a by-the-by, you see that blue band between our island and France? That’s water.

Has this boy’s cheese finally slid all the way off his cracker? Does somebody need to step in before he starts pressing buttons?

Quote;  Philip K. Dick.

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

7 Feb 2016

And Then That’s Settled....

I’m jolly late with this and I’m sure you’ll have seen it and laughed. What am I on about? Well, as they’re wont to start, it’s that ol’ climate thingy and all those folk drawing humongous stacks o’ cash to prove it’s happening.

Someone has woken up to the fact that they’re all saying it’s happening and that’s that. It’s settled. So guess wot? We don’t need you anymore and between three hundred and three hundred and fifty chaps and chapesses will lose their ‘funding’.

JoNova;
Suddenly a lot of Profs who told us the debate was over are squealing that it needs more research. Climate science was “beyond debate” and in need of action, but now we “need to know more about the basic operation of the climate”. Oh the dilemma!

Lighten up your evening and read all about it over at JoNova’s site and wonder how many climate gang bangers, currently being ‘employed’ on the tax payers dime, could be released back into the wild over here...

Yesterday, I watched some of the BBC news channel and, from what I saw, it was pretty much wall-to-wall refugee coverage with lots of the standard clips of runny nosed bug eyed kids. The refugee coverage was liberally peppered with mentions of those pesky Russians along with the expected mentions of ‘so called’ Islamic State.

There was surprisingly little mention, considering this was the BBC, of the news that Mr. Cummerbund has apparently instructing his MPs not to think about their constituents  but to focus on what HE wants. So they have to do what Dave wants and not what many of their constituents, who obviously voted for ‘so called’ Conservative party, may want. Some say good ol’ Dave; others tell the truth.

Dave, I’m guessing you’re busy composing your congratulatory missive to the Dim Dong’un, another staunch Conservative over there in NK, on the successful launch of that rocket. Don’t forget this old line buddy; I fire my rocket in the air, it comes to earth I know not where.

Quote;  Dorothy Gambrell.

“If television's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.”

             William Scott.

“Wait a minute! I'm not interested in agriculture. I want the military stuff.” {Said during a briefing about ‘military stuff’ in which officials began telling the President about missile silos.}

5 Feb 2016

And Then A Story....

You heading out tonight, it being Friday an’ all? Going to sink a few with your buds and tell tales that’ll get ever more exciting and unlikely as the evening progresses? Cool, but before you head out the door give this a listen as it’s big boys story telling at its best and I’m betting there’s more than one travelin’ fellow out there that has a similar a tale to relate.
“The last thing I wanted was to get in a fight in Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night.”

That’s all it is; just a story, right?

                 

Same story here, updated for the eighties.

Quote;  Ibn Battuta.

“Traveling; it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.”