5 Oct 2015

And Then It's All Quiet….

All quiet on the refugee front from our main 'news' outlets is it not? Is it all over? Have they all been found suitable accommodation and meaningful employment? Have they given up and are now heading for home? What's to do? Tell you what's to do; it's a blue do when you have to tune into RT on the TV to get an idea of what's to do out there.

In other news I see that over the past few days our 'leaders' have been all over the media like a rash castigating, in the strongest possible 'Oh yea?' terms, Vlad the Lad for getting a grip and, by request, starting to bomb a bunch of bad guys. Meanwhile the best the good guys have managed is to bomb some other good guys, in a hospital no less, with nary even a 'Whoops' as comment from our 'leaders'.

You may find this interesting over at The Slog.

Never mind, just to prove we truly have a grip on things over here, today we start being charged for plastic carrier bags at supermarkets and the like. This will, indeed, make the world a safer place. Especially if you're a Bottle-nosed Dolphin dumb enough to try eating plastic carrier bags.

Quote;  Kurt Vonnegut.

"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."

3 Oct 2015

And Then, A Further Portent….

Further to the usual observation of the berry barometer to give me some idea of what kind of winter I may expect, have you, like me, noticed the frantic feeding and food trapping the garden spiders have been engaged in since about the last week of August?

Of a morning, if I step into the garden, within three steps I'm coated in spider webs of wonder. How these fellows get a web spun between two points four feet apart, at face level, and spookier still, get it rebuilt in mere moments if I walk through one, is a whole different subject but I do feel that if I stood still for a period after encountering the first web, I'd be bitten to sleep, bagged and dragged into storage in pretty short measure. How cool would that be for a post! Assuming I escaped of course.

I honestly don't remember seeing so many of these guys spinning and trapping on this level before. However, that was just typed by an old guy who can't remember what he had for lunch today.

Is this eating and storing frenzy a portent of a savage winter to come? Has some sort of 'this winter's gonna be a doozy' instinct kicked in? Or are these guys just going nuts only in our garden? Is there a computer climate model that takes spider activity into consideration or do I need to kick one off? Would there be grant money available? Man, it always comes back to money does it not?

Quote;  Dave Barry.

“Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.”

1 Oct 2015

And Then It's The First….

Well, here we are, it's the first of October. So what? One rolls round about this time every year, right? Right, but this one is the one when, whether it directly applies to you or not, we can all say goodbye to another little freedom of choice. Yup, no smoking in your car if kids are on-board. That's your car. The car that belongs to you.

Okay, in the grand scheme of things this is small beer but, nevertheless, it's one more freedom of choice gone and the grip of Nanny's icy hand round ours gets a little tighter.

I see the police plan to take a softly-softly approach to offenders. We'll see how that pans out when the penny drops as to the potential of the revenue stream opened up by  this new ban. Let's see how long it is before we get a bit of this.

Quote;  Adolf Hitler.

“The best way to take control over a people and control them utterly is to take a little of their freedom at a time, to erode rights by a thousand tiny and almost imperceptible reductions. In this way, the people will not see those rights and freedoms being removed until past the point at which these changes cannot be reversed.”

            Virginia Woolf.

“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”

30 Sep 2015

And Then That Speech….

I'm guessing you were all glued to Jerry Carbine's speech yesterday? Was it yesterday or years ago? No? Well there you go; once again it's proven I'm not often right and I'm wrong yet again.

Seems it was pretty much what was expected; if you've got nothing and can't be arsed trying to get something yourself, he'll make sure you get everything you want.

This philosophy reminded me of my start on life's rocky road. This is greatly simplified but I'm sure a lot of you will spot and remember the way it seemed to work way back in the day.

I left sea school and went to work on man's boats. After five years I'd pretty much been there, seen it and done that so quit.

After a couple or so weeks of doing nothing and freeloading at home, daddy 'suggested' I should get down to the dole office and see what the government would give me while I decided what to do. That I did and found I could collect, down at the office, something like two pounds ten shillings a week. This was about seven pounds a month less than my last wage on man's boat and I was quietly impressed. Hay, no thirty-six hour days to get that, just sign-on and hold your hand out once a week, right?

When I told my daddy how much 'free' money I'd get, he said, "That's good. So two pounds to your mum for board and keep and ten shillings for you to party hearty!" That kind o' knocked the edge off that, so what did I do then? For those of us not so bright lights on the educational Christmas tree, all we had was our labour to sell to the highest bidder but first find a job, any job, that paid more that two pounds ten shillings a week, and that is wot I done did do.

Did I like the job? Not really, but while I was working I was always looking. Looking for what? Basically, more money. And so it progressed. Find a job, do that job while looking for a better job with better rewards. Find it and, with luck, get it and move on; and the job I'd just left? It would be taken by the next guy coming along the conveyor belt.

What kept the conveyor belt running? Getting next to nothing for doing nothing is what kept it oiled.

I do realise the above is possibly too much of a simplification of where we were yesterday and where we are today, but…

Quote;  A Foggy, Not A Quote.

About this time I was aquatinted with a guy who started his own window cleaning round. He did quite well and got several contracts for business premises one of which, interestingly, was the new dole and social security offices. He cunningly worked it so the day he did their windows was the same day he had to sign-on for his unemployment money thus alleviating the need for any additional travel. To the best of my knowledge he was never 'rumbled'.

28 Sep 2015

And Then, A Little More….

First thing this morning, first coffee tasting good, I saw the news, - love the comments - that Dave Cummerbund has upped the anti and 'pledged' a bigger number of millions of our pounds, yes, our pounds, to 'tackle' climate change in third world countries. Thanks Dave and I appreciate that you know far better how to spend my money than I do but that money would go quite some way to fixing many of the third world road surfaces we have right here round my neighbourhood. Silly thought I know.

By the way David, while you're here, did you get my request, running along similar lines, for just a pitiful half million of tax payers money to improve conditions down the bottom of my garden and thus improve life for the fairies who dwell down there? Same idea is it not David?

Here's a thought Dave… no, sorry, I haven't got time right now but one of your aids should, with the help of the Web-a-Net, be able to explain the meaning of 'thought' to you, okay? Here's a thought; let's have one of they referendum doodads on who's a believer and who's not. Then those who believe man is influencing the climate, and also believe man can change the climate, would have their taxes raised by, oh, I don't know, three or five percent? This extra portion would go straight towards 'tackling' that man-made climate changing thingy and those paying the extra tax will have that wonderfully warm fuzzy feeling of helping and of being part of that doing good stuff.

If any of them fall outside the tax paying threshold it could be deducted as a supplemental tax and given a catchy name; something like  Green Tax perhaps?

To complete the referendum circle, the nonbelievers, those who believe man has no influence at all on weather it'll rain tomorrow or not {you spot the cleaver play on words there? No? Oh} would have their taxes reduced by a half of the believers increase. You with me on the maths here Dave? It's a tricky one eh? Dave, it'd work like this; a three percent tax rise for a believer to help their cause would be a one and a half percent tax reduction for a nonbeliever.

Again, anyone falling outside the tax paying threshold could have their personal allowance adjusted upwards. How fair to one and all would all that be then? This idea could be used on so many levels could it not?

Dave, if, in the unlikely event you go ahead with this idea, I would humbly suggest that you keep the tax break for nonbelievers to yourself until after the referendum or you may be disappointed to find that, like yourself, most believers have their limits as to what they should sacrifice for their cause, on a personal level, as opposed to what they believe should be sacrificed for their cause by everyone else.

Quote;  Dave Barry.

"If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows."

26 Sep 2015

And Then A Sad Crush….

I'm sure you'll agree it was terrible news the other day regarding all those deaths during this years Hajj. Some guy's saying it was the will of ally and the latest news seems to support this supposition as it states the crush was possibly caused by too many people trying to join the main procession from a side ally.

We need to hope all these fellows don't convert to Druidism any time soon. Imagine that headache for the government with close to two million people applying for short term visas to the UK every year to take part in the annual Henge pilgrimage cumulating in the the summer solstice ritual of the throwing of giant sunflowers at the Stonehenge altar stone.

That'd keep HM Immigration officers a tad busy sorting all those applications out. And busier yet ensuring they all went home after the Henge jamboree. Let's not forget the Human Rights lawyers who'd make a banquet out of the possibly thousands who got their visas late and missed the Henge or, bigger banquet yet, were refused a visa.

Later, I ran into the comment below at Guido Fawkes. I don't remember which post I'm afraid and the joke may well be an oldie but it was a newie to me and made me smile a while and I hope it does the same for some of you. Thank you bobo michael323232. Catchy handle by the way.

bobo michael323232
I went out for a curry last night. I had Chicken Tarka. Like Chicken Tikka, but a little 'otter."

Quote;  Nelson DeMille,

"We're all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps."