And Then, Windmill Ghosts….

I must apologise to the commenter who’s comment I pasted here yesterday. Seems I can’t even get a simple copy and paste task right. Makes me feel just like a proper reporter! The guys, or guyesses name is Caleb and not, as I pasted, aleb. So sorry. And so obviously wrong first time out.

Next up, via the good Bishop Hill I found my way to a place for the reading of the linked article. This article, relating to wind turbine gearboxes and the ghost therein, really needs reading and can be found at BilloTheWisp, a new place to me but a site I’ve now linked to. Go take a look round. You’ve gotta love his top right graphic and caption, “Billothewisps photogenic side”. That alone is worth a link and a drink. Brilliant!

Then, upon doing a little exploring over at Billo’s place I found this simple and interesting little movie. Have I seen it before? I’m not sure but it do make a very quiet, far away bell sounding sound in my head.

Quote;  Jarod Kintz.

“Every time the wind blows I think of her. I wonder if I could generate electricity off my yearning. Maybe a mind wind farm of some kind. Hopefully I could provide enough power for all the lonely people in my bathtub to stay warm.”

And Then Another Little Beauty….

It’s well worth a visit, as ever, to the good Bishop for his take on young Eddy Davey’s showing in front of the Energy and Climate Change Committee.

To date I’ve just satisfied myself with the Bishops words but later  I’ll probably download that Silverlight needed lookin’ add-on jobby to enjoy{?} the video.

For me, the icing on the posting comes later as down the way in the comments is, not all that surprisingly, a comment; a comment that’s so wonderfully short and to the point that it just seemed to be sitting there saying, ‘steal me’. This comment’s been submitted by someone with the catchy commenters screen name of Rightwinggit and is an absolute gem which, without further ado, having already been there, undercover of darkness, to do the cutting bitty, I’m going to paste right here. I must, of course, do that humble apologising stuff I’m wont to do when I lift something from someone who’s not me wot I wish I’d thought of. Thank you very big Rightwinggit.

“Ed Davey would be out of his depth on a wet pavement.”

That beauty is closely followed by another little cracker from Sherlock1. Sir, please accept my apologies as per the above;

“Does anyone else feel slight unease that Ed Davey looks like Wayne Rooney's older cousin that they kept in the attic, but he got out somehow..?”

Quote;  Arthur Harris.

“They sowed the wind and now they are going to reap the whirlwind.”

And Then, Let’s Get Rid….

Seems there’s another bit of confusion about what’s been said by that rascal Dave. I believe someone has said he’d heard from a friend that a person in a pub understands that an occasional drinking buddy knows someone who meets up with a close relation of an ‘insider’ who mentioned Dave said something, with a husky voice, that sounded like it could possibly be, “….get rid of all this green crap.”  Dave, if you did say that, and you weren’t just referring to the apple peel scattered all over your desk, I’m with you young lad. However, if, as is your wont and our belief, you said it but don’t really mean it, be it apple peel or proper green pain, well, situation normal and you still can’t call me a pal.

By the way, that seems like a jolly naughty word for a nice, well groomed young boy like you to use don’t ya think Dave? What sort of rubbish education did you get then?  Sent to bed early with no supper last night? BAD boy!!

Anyhoo, as the above bit hit the newspapers, a speaking-for-people-who-daren't-speak-in-case-they-get-it-wrong-person has supposedly said that they don’t recognise those words. Which words don’t they recognise speaking-person? Was it ‘cut’ or ‘green’ or ‘crap’? Now, as it seems to have confused no end of people from different camps, wouldn’t you think that Dave, him being the supreme leader an’ all, would’ve instantly called a press conference, complete with a minimum of 162 interpreters to ensure a good proportion of the population of these fine isles have an equal stab at understanding him, and set the record to rights?

Okay, I know, all it’d really prove is that Dave’s lips, just like ours, do indeed move when he talks but the actual words, although they’d be in the right order, would, once again, mean nothing.

This, being yet another amusing aside by our highly educated leaders, reminded me of an incident from the mists of time. I know, I know, ‘Oh Lord, please, not another tale from the river bank.’ Sadly, that it be, but stick with me as it follows on neatly from the above, okay? Okay? Oh, you’ve already gone…..

For me then; first off, I don’t follow football so names are not known**. Back in the mid nineties some UK club had a French guy playing for them who was, I believe, a pretty good player but also a bit of a thug on the field and thus, because of his roughness, not all that well liked by opposing clubs and the fans thereof.

On a particular Saturday, during a game, an opposing teams fan chose to hurl abuse at this player. Unfortunately for the fan, he hurled his abuse while thug-in-boots was in hearing range. This resulted in the thug-in-boots loosing it, bounding over to the fan whereupon a pretty one sided mêlée ensued.

Next day I was waiting for a flight down Heathrow the way and, spookily, found myself in a bar sitting close to some other guys, one of whom burst out in merriment while reading his Sunday papers sports pages relating to the Saturday incident. He was good enough to share the salient points with his buddies and thus also with a closely parked me. The article concluded, as best I remember, with, “At the end of the day it’s just another case of the s**t hitting the fan.”

**At the end of the day, via the magic of Google; nice one Eric!!

Quote;  Brian Clough.

“Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.”

And Then A New Wind Farm....

On the local BBC news last night.... was it last night or the night before; what is this thing called ‘time’? How come it crawls along in second gear when you’re young and finally finds fifth when you’re old?

Anyhoo, that nice young lad Nick Clegg was on TV opening a new offshore wind farm. So farm, so good. Other than the chosen accompanying film seemed to show only one of many peperellars actually peperellering.

What jumped out of the BBC ‘on message’ presenters reportage was his declaration that this farm will produce enough electrickery to power 200,000 homes. If you where new to Earth this would suggest a pretty good deal. However, If it had been reported just a tad more factually it would quickly loose a lot of its gloss.

There was not a word of the requirement for conventional generation as back-up and, scarily, no mention of the need for wind! A wind which would have to blow consistently at the speed the windmills were designed to optimally generate at.

I see it’s slightly amended on the BBC web sight to. “The 75 turbines are capable of producing enough energy for 200,000 homes.”

If a bumble bee, that superbly aerodynamic insect, can fly you’d assume we must be capable of flight, right? I’m capable of typing at one hundred and one words a minute, but, as Mitch Hedberg says, ”..... it's in my own language.” I’m capable of laying bricks but a bricky does it so much better. Too late now, they’re out there, cluttering up the continental shelf, altering the currents resulting in the dumping of tons of sand in the centre of the close coastal towns.

Nick, I also noted you’ve picked up that irritating habit from your very bestest friend ever, Dave. Know the one I mean? Oh, sorry, yes I know you know Dave. I meant know the habit. It’s that ol’ mouth before brain thingy, yet again.

Calling voters who don’t fully go along with your views ‘Luddites’ is not very polite coming from an expensively educated lad like you is it?

May I suggest, as you tear along the highway at break-neck speed that you cool your jets, pull into the layby of thought, stretch your legs, give your head a little shake, check all your lights are on, make sure full beam works, then slowly pull out into grown-up traffic and proceed at a respectable speed with your brain set to ‘On’ and mouth to ‘Off’.

As for your green energy ideas - with any luck you left ‘em in the trash-can at the layby.

Quote; Bernard M. Baruch.

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.”

  Lemony Snicket. {Daniel Handler.}

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

And Then Windy Diesel....

Yo! Crazy Davey, if you’re up and about this glorious Sunday, please, oh please read the linked articles. In a couple of words - your rumbled pal and, with any luck, the word is going to get bigger and louder. rebuttal ready? Better be a doozy old boy.

The word got out a week ago and I’m sure there’s no need to point you to the news, but I’ll do the pointy thingy anyway so here you go.

Kick off with Mr Booker.

Then try Dr North for more depression.

Move right along to Mr Dellingpole

Happy now? No? How about MP’s pay then? Try this in The Scotsman then. Little clippy below.

“They have wrecked our economy, subjected us to Eurotyranny, changed our entire demography via enforced mass immigration, all but abolished our armed forces, destroyed marriage, waged war on the family and turned our country into a PC police state. Now they are to be rewarded on a scale that no hard­working breadwinner can imagine. Yet if it hastens the day when the public wreaks vengeance on these persecutors and incompetents it may be no bad thing.”

In other news it seems we have a half million unprocessed guests here. This number is provided by a team of MP’s. Is that the right term? A team of MP’s? Let’s see now, there’s a gaggle of geese...... how about a thicket of MP’s then?

Anyhoo this thicket of MP’s gave us that number so what should us simpletons do with said number? Yup, got it in one. Take the first number they thought of, double it then multiply the result by the first number they thought of. Now it’s getting close to include those who popped in under the radar. Or truck. Or train.

You sense an amnesty in the offing? ‘It’s going to take forty years to make a dent in this never decreasing number so, what the hay, you can stay, okay? Backlog clear, job done - or to use the very cleaver abbreviation, JD - bonus safe, pints of Drambuie shandy all round. Are we good or wot?’

As for the four thousand or so that have been declared naughty and should be deported but are still here, how hard is it to get someone to an airport? Other than Stansted that is. How much cheaper and surer would it be to have a couple of 777’s on charter? Guilty. Deport. Leave court, board prison van, pass-by naughty persons address, collect required family and/or pets so as not to infringe human rights, drive to airport, escort into secure area of plain and bid a fond farewell accompanied by a wavy hanky and a teary eye.

Quote; George Orwell.

“Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.”

And Then It Blows Wrong Again....

SUBROSA has some nice photographs of windmills. Hurrah for the array I say. Seems that pesky wind’s been blowing at the wrong speed again. Will it never learn? Her indoors asked how much electricity they where currently generating and contributing to the grid. Well, what she actually said was, “How they make erectikity like that then?”

Indeed, how do they design these beasts? CAD For Dummies and the first ten cells of a spreadsheet?

As for Dave and that marriage thingy, what can you say? Me? Nothing to say other than how much it says about our government and what they think of us, which was all summed up by wot Dave said on the TV. You catch it? To paraphrase - “I do understand that many people are against the idea, and I respect that, but I think it’s the right thing......” See? That ol’ ‘I think’ thing again. Just say it like it is Dave, ‘I know a lot of people are against it but my EU handlers and I think it’s the bees knees, so that’s it.’ What are you and your handlers thinking’s best for us next Dave? The next ‘I think’ about ready?

On the upside there was a full house, millions of air-time hours spent on it so it’s reassuring to know there’s nothing more important needing their attention. On the downside, I’m probably wrong.

From way back in time, in the immortal words of ‘Diamond Eyes’ McGregor, said, I stress, in jest, “Get it up ya while you’re young Dave, ‘cause naebody likes an auld poof.”

Quote; Mila Kunis.

“So many people put so much emphasis on what they do that they lose sight of who they are. They fight for something that is so meaningless and frivolous. My whole career could go poof tomorrow and you might never hear of me again.”

And Then They Went Missing....

Funnily, just a couple of days after that windmill fell over in a savage 50 MPH gusty breeze, to which story one of my points was wot's below;

Installed by renewable energy company Dulas it was supposed to have a life expectancy of 25 years. They noted that “wind speeds are part of our root-cause investigation”.

Three years out of twenty five ain’t bad. I repeat, 50 MPH? Gusts? It’s a windmill, designed for the UK, right? And now, and only now, they’re going to investigating the effect of wind speeds? On a windmill!! Me? I’d be looking for an anti-windmill guy with a torque wrench.

The relevant bit is the last bit that’s in that funny looking leany forward typing and, lo and behold, Look what pops up in the news today; {Another piece of writing wonderment hurriedly glued together, possibly by a pre-schooler, probably on a cell phone. The majority of the comments are quite ‘grown-up’ all the same.}

An investigation into the collapse of the first turbine in Bradworthy, Devon, during a 50mph gale last weekend has revealed that bolts are missing from its base.

The turbine was initially thought to have been brought down by the wind, despite being designed to withstand winds of up to 116mph, but the new evidence could suggest a case of foul play, councillors said.

You know what? Would that not be a wonderful, ‘Not our fault buddy’ line for the manufacturers eh? What to do with that ol’ warranty now then? Better check it out right quick boys and see if you can find any reference to the magic word ‘sabotage’ way down there among the small print. Not there? Bummer.

Several scenarios spring to this simpletons mind;

The builders were running out of time, and time being money, head guy got his fellows to just put 50% of the bolts in, declared she’d be right, and got the cash register ringing, then forgot to return to install the other 50%.

Or, one fellow was indeed dispatched to install the remaining bolts, found he was short o’ bolts, decided she’d be right, and went home.

As for the possible saboteur, I’m sure they wouldn’t scamper out there with their torque wrench, in a gale of wind, start loosening bolts, think to themselves, “I can use some of these at home” and pocket a bunch of really big bolts. No, a saboteur would look at the weather forecast, pick a time prior to a period of high winds, take a turn out of all, or just the down-wind bolts and let nature take its course.

So where are the missing bolts?

I really do hope the designers didn’t get the ‘hay, that’s a plan; let’s blame sabotage’ idea from this sad little Blog....

I really do hope someone, somewhere doesn’t think, “He knows too much.” If I don’t roll up here again, you’ll know the black helicopters have whisked me away....

Addendum;

As a comment suggests below the news{?} article, this could be a fine opportunity for Green Peace - guarding windmills. The sad downside to this would be the new TV adverts from them begging us, that’s what they do, beg, for just £2 a month you can adopt a windmill bolt. For an extra £1 a month you’ll also be able to adopt two washers and a nut.....

Quote; Khalil Gibran.

“If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.“

And Then A Gust....

                                               

The Daily Telegraph reports, I’m hoping for pre-school children, on the tumble down of a windmill;

A 35-metre turbine has collapsed near Holsworthy leaving the tower lying on the ground.

For those not sure where stuff ends up when it falls down.

The £250,000 tower, which stood as tall as a six storey building, was hit by gale force gusts of 50mph.

50 MPH? Gusts? It’s a windmill, designed for the UK, right?

The structure then collapsed at a farm in Bradworth, Devon.

So it was getting blown all over the countryside, became exhausted and collapsed at a farm in Bradworth?

...hail storms and strong winds have hit the area and the turbine, installed just three years ago, simply could not withstand the wind. "The bolts on the base could not withstand the wind......”

Better say it a third time while we’re here, could not withstand the wind. That ol’ bolt ring looks okay though. A simultaneous, all round bolt stripping? Bummer.

Installed by renewable energy company Dulas it was supposed to have a life expectancy of 25 years. They noted that “wind speeds are part of our root-cause investigation”.

Three years out of twenty five ain’t bad. I repeat, 50 MPH? Gusts? It’s a windmill, designed for the UK, right? And now, and only now, they’re going to investigating the effect of wind speeds? On a windmill?  Me? I’d be looking for an anti-windmill guy with a torque wrench.

A spokesman for Wales-based firm Dulas said the generator had a five-year warranty......

No problem if they didn’t take the extended warranty then.

“Our technical team is one of the most experienced in the UK...”

And obviously getting more experience all the time.

Initially it was thought the turbine or its mechanics had burst into flames, but since there were no witnesses, this cannot be confirmed until the investigations are finished.

If it'd been its mechanics, the clue would’ve been a bunch of guys running round screaming, “Help!! Help!! I’m on fire!!” Other than that, check the wreck. And the mechanism. Burn something and bits and bobs tend to go black with flames an' smoke an’ stuff.

.....chairman of the Campaign to Protect Rural England, was concerned for safety as more turbines of the same type are installed around the country.

Especially if they’re installed in windy areas I guess.

.......Chief Executive of English Heritage, said that wind turbines are “inappropriate” in certain parts of the English countryside, such as pretty areas with stone churches and houses in dingly dells.

Pretty much rules out everywhere but inner cities then.

In a speech to celebrate 100 years of fighting for national monuments around Britain he pledged to fight turbines......

Fight turbines? Seems they can be knocked out with relative ease.

........in important countryside.

That makes perfect sense.

Quote; Frank Barrett. 

“He tilted at windmills, but he knocked over a lot of them in a variety of fields.”