You may not remember but back in the distant past of the early twenties, I got me a hair clipper. After a dodgy first couple of cuts I more or les got the hang of it as far as wot the differing size guides will leave or not.
Time went by and eventually my little nest of vipers decided she should join in. Not doing her own hair of course, but doing round the back of my head and then finally giving my neck a clean-up sans any guide on the cutters and this has been the routine for many a long time: She will cut and trim the bits of my head invisible to me then I’ll whizz over the rest of my swede.
Yesterday morning she suggested I was ready for a trim thus we proceeded in the tried and tested method and having cut round the back, bottom to top, she removed the guide to do the final neck clean-up and this is when things took a dive as she saw an area that needed shortening a tad, forgot the guide was off and quickly and effortlessly shaved a two inch wide strip from just behind my left ear to the top of my head.
I sensed something was amiss as she screeched with shock and substantial lumps of my hair fell before me and we both instantly realised wot she’d done.
After the initial shock and once I’d mopped up the blood and confirmed her nose wasn’t broken – for those who believe everything they read, that was a joke; two tissues got it – I laughed which made her feel a tad better and then had to decide wot to do. Do I shave the rest of my head? Too cold for that. Shave just the lower area? Too gooney lookin’. Do I get me one of they woolly teapot warmer lookin’ hats or shall I shave a matching strip on the right side thus running the risk, when I’m spotted out and about, of starting a stampede to barbers of old and young alike desperately wanting to be up there with this exciting, trend setting new fashion statement?
I reflected on this for all of five minutes and, in view of the weird things a lot of folk seem to do with their hair these days, decided to leave well alone and just let it grow back. It’ll grow back quick, right? So far I haven’t noticed any strange looks... okay, a few and I just know they know wot happened. Probably from their own experiences.
Quote; Charlie Brooker.
The fashion industry is an immense cultural and social blight that only gets a free pass because its would-be detractors are scared it'll start criticising their haircut.”
8 comments:
I have one of those trimmers too, I bought it in 2001 but have never used it myself. My daughter, a qualified hairdresser, and now a senior staff nurse, always chops my mop. So I am safe in the knowledge that she is trained for either predicament.
Having quite a dirty job (welder at JCB) I can't stand having hair too long, so I usually have a zero, which leaves the hair about 1/4 inch long all over. I'd advise you to try it - not only will it hide your nest of vipers mistake but its extremely quick to keep clean. And of course, you don't need a comb, and you'll never get helmet head (a motorcyclist complaint, where the hair ends up taking on the shape of the helmet). When its cold I'm notorious for wearing my Triumph baseball cap - people say I need it surgically removed.
Ripper,
Great minds; that thought keeps going through my head and, reading your comment, I do believe I'll go for it first thing. As you say, it'll camouflage the landing strip and there's really nothing to lose. Well, not that much more to lose...
I almost laughed at this story but I've done it too, except in this case I did it myself when I used to cut my own hair. Couldn't really hide it so had to resort to some complex combing before going out. I don't think it worked but I'l probably never know - nobody said anything at work. I went to the local barber after that.
A K Haart,
Complex combing won't work for me so I'm going for super short all round. No photographs will be published.
Tell you what I have found myself doing and that is inspecting other fellows hair
as I walk around. Yet to spot similar stripes, but I just know they're out there.
Hell of a hobby.
Well, I imagine a 2 inch wide stripe is better than a comb-over.. One never knows, you may even decide to keep the all over short Mac, it might suit you. Also no one will mess with you since you'll look like a briuser, especially if you have a couple of tatts to go with it.
My baseball cap (I have a bigger collection of those than your nest of viper's colanders, all Triumph Motorcycles) is most useful - despite the odd jibe I get, I'm the only one I know of that doesn't get rain on their glasses or suffer from a cold head. And I know I'll get new ones come Christmas and the next birthday. Sad, am I not?
Ripper,
Okay, trimmed back and lookin' good. Okay goodish.
Not sure about the bruiser look - more a hairy toffee apple look.
You've given me the seed for a post regarding Mother Nature and the use of hair. Later.
Odd that this subject should rear it's ugly head (pun intended) as I've been discussing with the MRS (Pronounced Emm Arr Ess) that we also have a hedge trimmer with a full set of all the plastic length gauges. I've suggested that we start on No.8 and go from there, there by having a chance to fix it with 6 - 4 - 2 etc. She is more interested in me having no lower hair, no not that low... In case you were wondering, more to do with my half way to a Charles Darwin that grows at a rate inversely proportional to that up top.
One has to wonder why we should bother going to such extremes considering that the local gents barber charges Baht 70 (GBP1.8) for a hair cut and shave (I feel that I'm over charged for the hair cut but more than get my money's worth on the shave).
On another interesting note... I couldn't claim that I'm not a robot while connected to the companies VPN. They obviously have other ideas...
Nomis,
'Recovery' seems to be coming along at a pace so no need for hedge trimmers at this time. I can only imagine the mess if my little nest of vipers got hold of a serious cutter/trimmer.
Baht 70 for all that; ahh, the memories...
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