Yes, that's right, I cut my own hair. I went out and got me a set of those 'cut your own hair' clippery things. You seen them? Just those ol' barbers clippers but with a shed load of guides you stuff on the cuttery end depending on how long or short you want the finished barnet to be. That's the theory. Meanwhile back in the real World it don't pan out quite like that. At least not for this fool it didn't.
This is how you do it - or don't do it..... After checking out the guides and giving the top of my hair a rough measure I settled for 26 mm on top. That's a lot shorter than it was but would leave it long enough to bend here or there as the mood took me. Then locate the guide for a shorter length for the sides and back. From 6 for the bottom progressing upwards to 9 and then 12 mm towards the top and ol' Mr. 26 for the very top. That should take care of it don't you think? I thunk it would. Sort the guides for round the ears and the hangy down side bitties and off we go!!
Starting with the sides it soon became apparent, VERY apparent, that the cutting bit is dead easy, and dead fast!! The lifting off as you proceed upwards from where you want it short to where you want it a tad longer is dead hard. Result? Hay, will you look at that! Looks like I went higher up with that short guide than planned, well, here, here, here and here I sure did. Oh, and you can see the wood here and there, and there and.......
What to do now? Well, OK, lets forget ol' Mr. 26 and go for it a little shorter on top so I can even things out lower down. That should work. Not much I can do about the wood showing through, but I can always go a little shorter.
And therein lies the rub. And trust me on this one. Shorter you can most definitely go; longer, you cannot.
A few minutes later after frequent panicky changes of the guides, getting rapidly lower in the mm number, viola! I had an even looking hair cut. Or to put it another way, it's even at a shade shorter than the 4 mm guide, ear to ear, neck to eye brows {nearly lost those as well, by the way}. Just couldn't get that 'short hair round the sides and back evenly progressing to longer hair on top' look at all and, sadly, there are several more areas of wood visible.
If you think I'm going to post a picture, please give your head a shake. Mine, by the way, now shakes very lightly.
But I will be doing it again - in about a year when I have something to work with again.
Things To Do:
Print 'Use With Caution' sign for clippers.
Throw comb and hair brush away.
Find a shampoo containing Hair-Be-Back-Quick.
Quote - P. G. Wodehouse;
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
2 comments:
It is a wonderous situation where a man can get a multi-zillion dollar rig to trim, yet collapse at the first outing with a clipper, (not tea clipper of course). Rather nautical wit... Come on man, it's a fiver to get it done by a professional.. Stingy git!
A fiver? 6 Quid it is. And at retirement time you find you are always looking in your purse. On the other hand I guess as you get ever older and the hand ever less steady the 'quality' of the cut will get ever worse. You could be right.
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