David Cummerbund says prisons should be places of hope. Dave, they are already. The first thing you think when you get banged up is, “I hope I get out early.”
David Cummerbund says that if we leave the EU we’ll have Calais jungle camps in Kent. Dave, you understand the concept of border controls? You know, where you show your passport and visa and if you can’t you’re kicked right back to where you came from? As a by-the-by, you see that blue band between our island and France? That’s water.
Has this boy’s cheese finally slid all the way off his cracker? Does somebody need to step in before he starts pressing buttons?
Quote; Philip K. Dick.
“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”
4 comments:
Les had had a hard day as supervisor of the local council recycling centre and was in the garden waste skip using a pitchfork to shift the stuff towards the back and make a bit of room at the front. All of a sudden, he heard a mighty crash behind him and spun round. He saw a man emptying a metal dustbin full of broken glass. On and on it went, until Les hollered, "what the blanky blank do yer think yer doin'?" (or something rather like that). The chap paused, puzzled, and said, "wot? ...wot?". Les waved his arm in a the general direction of the horticultural clippings behind him and said, "this bin is for garden waste, you div" (in the interests of accuracy I must report that a more trenchant noun was employed at this point). The man said, "yerss, I know - it's me greenhouse" - and carried on emptying his dustbin.
Now I mention this little tale for no other reason than to suggest that Mrs. Cummerbund's little boy has a keen and finely judged awareness of the average voter's intelligence in this septic isle and is confident that his blatant piddle-taking will have the desired effect. Indeed, whenever I hear the clarion calls for a referendum about Brexit my heart sinks as I remember the noddle with his greenhouse ... he's got the vote. Somehow he achieved a driving licence. He is also probably breeding ... *sigh*
Caratacus,
Love the story. I was going to say joke but, as you point out in your last sentence, it's not really a joke.
I agree, our Dave, with these 'scare' stories, is achieving exactly what he wants. The vast majority of the voting public will be hooked by his fibs. Hell, look around and wonder how many folk you can see even know what the letters E and U stand for...
As you say, "sigh"
It is with some sadness that I point out that the story is absolutely true. Les also showed me a photo of a car that drove into his yard some days previously. It is impossible to discern the make because it is absolutely covered with tree branches and foliage which has been roped and bungee corded into position to a height of about three feet above the roof. Fortunately, the driver had used a pair of clippers to cut a hole about the size of a dinner plate in front of the windscreen before essaying forth ... Terrifying!
Caratacus,
Yup, I’ve seen similar deals when I’ve had occasion to visit my local council tip.
A one foot hole to see out the front? That’s a generous size!! Bet he didn’t have a hole in the back; a hole to see out of that is. But hay, who cares what’s going on behind? Unless, of course, it improves cell phone reception; but that’s only common sense...
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