2 Sep 2014

And Then, No Surprise….

I see that nice Mr Cummerbund has told us we’re in mortal danger of Jedi. I must’ve missed something as I didn’t realize they were real. Or is Dave declaring war, from the comfort of his fiction, on science fiction? Don’t make much sense to me. Say what? Oh, those fellows. That’s different but, nope, it still don’t make sense to me.

It all sounds a bit, “Hay, let’s try this then”. A couple o’ points Dave. If you, as a child – yeah, I know – ever had a boil, repeatedly patting it with cotton wool didn’t work did it? You had to lance that sucker, right?

Split up the agitators and move ‘em about?  Are you nuts? A minutes thought there Dave and you may have come to this possible conclusion: ‘You know what? That’ll just help ‘em spread their word won’t it? Agitating at our cost an’ all.’ And another point of note worth a passing mention. Please stop giving your game away by going on TV, trying to look hard and telling ‘em what you’re going to do in the near future. Guess wot?  That ain’t gonna work young lad.  They just may be listening.

If anything serious ever kicks off we’re on a hiding to nothing with our Dave jumping in front of the cameras at every opportunity telling us and the enemy what we’re going to do next.
“Next week, after putting our cunning plan to parliament and getting approval from our legal advisors, we’ll be making a surprise diversionary advance on the enemy centre while making the main thrust of attack on their left flank and then wheeling
to hit ‘em in the rear. {Thanks to me, that bits allowed now.} This will be an all-out super surprise attack, kicking off at about seven thirty AM a week today, utilizing all our five hundred cavalry and our remaining  two hundred or so  tanks. Finally, so’s to get my very bestest buddy Nick the Click on-board, we’re exploring the possibility of allowing any prisoners we may take the right to permanent settlement in the UK. For a far more comprehensive  breakdown of our plans, complete with interactive maps, lots of videos of the build-up and pictures to print for the kids to colour,  please visit YouClusterGove, one of those back-slashy thingies, TopSecretAttack – that’s all one word by the way. To fool the baddies. Cleaver eh?”

Quote;  Adlai E. Stevenson II.

“It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.”

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