And Then I Search...

   Well, so, the ‘news’ is still glued to a man in a can and it would seem the search has ended with the assumed sad demise of the five guys.
   I don’t have much time to tap here as I’m frantically searching the Wibbly Wobbly Web for an outfit wot makes submersible, pressure resistant T-lights. Need to buy a phew shares in that outfit right quick eh? Sadly, so far no light – sorry, luck...

Quote;  Andi Cummings.

“Diving is an investment of time and money but the rewards can be life-changing; literally.”

And Then, Trouble Ahead...

   With the announcement that ‘we’ are going ahead with building that big nuclear power plant, we should reflect on how our education system seems to have deteriorated over recent years and ponder where the designers, the engineers involved and the skilled workforce who’ll build it will be found.
   If all/any of the above will be recruited locally,  consider how close it is to Norfolk... In blue by the way.
   As an example of wot I’m typing, witness the recent sailing of our newest, bestest, most expensive war ship ever.  Guess wot, it done broke down. Seems it could be because no grease was getting to the starboard prop shaft. How high tech is that then? Hello onboard engineers?
   Think about that.
   Looking on the positive side all these young designers, engineers and workers will be fully educated regards greeting their fellow – oops, sorry, skip that – their colleagues using the correct pronouns. And all the really important bits of the nuke will be colour coded in a totally, like, inoffensive manner so’s not to upset or stress anyone out.
   Wot more could you wish for?
   I also see from various media Sizewell illustrations that it would seem to be perilously close to the great big sea. So, if you choose to believe the environ-mentalists and rising sea levels? Whoa! Bummer.

Quote;  Douglas Adams.

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely fool proof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

And Then, A Big Boat...

How’s that tanker thingy working out then? According to our MSM it’s either Trumpton's fault, a result of Brexit, the Russians or global warming; take your pick.

There do seem to be one thing missing from the reporting. And that would be? Wot are the vessels owners doing about having one of their boats tied up, along with the crew they’re responsible for, and thus unavailable to generate revenue?

I’m going back a long time now, but from wot I remember, the flag a vessel sailed under was always called a flag of convenience. By that, a ship would fly the flag of the country it was registered in. Different countries have differing inspection regimes regarding strictness of various inspections required for the vessel to keep its certificate of fitness and insurance premiums at a manageable level. Even rigs, and many where ‘flagged’ in Panama and Liberia. No less safe but less picky and if faults were found the inspectors were happy to take your word that said faults would be corrected quickly and thus no shutdown or return visit, a great expense, was needed.

Wot I’m struggling to say is this; is it not primarily the vessels owners responsibility to get their boat and the boys onboard back?

Never mind, we can always send a rapid response team down there and grab it back for Stena and Sweden and if it does escalate and kick-off, it’s a long way away so it’s not as if those fellows of a certain persuasion have a fifth column of fit, fighting age fellows over here, right? Oh, wait a minute... 

Different set of circumstances, but do you remember this? How times change.

Quote:  Captain Jack Sparrow.

“You can always trust the untrustworthy because you can always trust that they will be untrustworthy. Its the trustworthy you can’t trust.”

And Then No Tin...

It seems that we’re about to say ta-ta to Tata and to tin making here then.

Way back when I was a sailor boy, one of man’s many boats was a little purpose built iron ore carrier. A miniature by todays size as she could only carry, loaded to her marks, two thousand tons of ore. We used to run either to Norway or Spain or up to Sept-Îles in Quebec come summer.

This made for interesting trips sailing with a freeboard of inches and the main deck was usually awash from leaving to arriving, praying the hatches had been well dogged down thus preventing water ingress as a cup-full would have been enough to signal game over. The thing was it was us apprentices that did the dogging and boy, did we do good dogging!  Another time, I’ll recount the time I was just two hands away from being lost overboard. I may well start the story, ‘It was a dark and stormy night...’ just for dramatic impact you understand.

As a point of interest, up in Sept-Îles, two thousand tons of iron ore was loaded in a scary two hours. Fifteen days plus beating our way across the pond, two hours alongside and fifteen days plus beating our way back. Joy.

We did one trip, for reasons we never learned, to Bombay where, just to put things in perspective, it took fifteen days to load.

Where did all the ore go? Yup, Port Talbot of course. A town I have fond memories of - one of which I can see in my minds eye as clearly as if it happened yesterday and not, wot, fifty years ago?

This incident occurred while a bunch of us boys from the boat were whooping it up down at the... can’t remember the pub name. Anyhoo, all of a sudden a few young local loons started to kick-off amongst themselves. An old boy, sitting by the fire, nursing a half, who was more interested in checking out the runners and riders for the next race on TV, looked over and shouted, “You lot! Take it outside!!” He noticed at this time that one of the fellows was unbuckling his belt. So? So, anyone of an age will remember that, back in the day, trouser belts with big buckles weren’t worn for their fashionable or decorative impact but were there for times of dire need when they made a scary fist wrapping or a fearsomely effective flailing weapon. The more weight and sharp and pointy bits the buckle had, the better.  The old guy, upon seeing this, looked the kid full-face and barked, “You! We don’t use belts here. No belts in P’Talbot!!”

The fellow dutifully buckled back up, tipped his head in deference to the old guy and the disagreement was dutifully taken outside. You old enough to remember those far off days when the young respected and responded to the words of their elders whatever the situation?

Good luck for the future Port Talbot.

Quote;  Plato.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

And Then Some History….

With the horrific sinking of the South Korean ferry and the recent sinking of the Concordia, with such sad loss of life, I’m unfortunately of an age to remember a marine adventure that gripped this country and the US back in 1951-2. This is, for sure, the first thing I remember being absolutely riveted to on the wireless, along with the entire population, other than ‘Journey Into Space’ and ‘Life With The Lions’. It was, on reflection a ‘growing-up a little bit’ moment for me.

In truth, we shouldn’t compare the alleged actions of the Captains of the two recent disasters, as we don’t know the full stories, with the actions of a Master and Chief Mate during those far off 14 days of 1951-2 .

But……

Anyone out there remember the ‘Flying Enterprise’, her Captain Henrik Kurt Carlsen and Chief Mate Kenneth Dancy of the tug, ‘Turmoil’?

                                

Man, that was some adventure was it not?

It all kicked off about 400 KM from Falmouth with the ‘Flying Enterprise’ being hit by a hurricane force storm. An SOS was sent out and Captain Carlsen got his crew and passengers off as vessels arrived to lend assistance.

Captain Carlsen remained with his ship, even though it was  was listing heavily to port and showing signs of breaking-up, to await the arrival of tugs.

Apparently Captain Carlsen spent his time, apart from staying alive, maintaining the ships log and drawing up details of any salvage agreement that would be required before tugs arrived and attempted to get a line on his ship.

When the tug ‘Turmoil’ rolled up the weather was too bad to get a line attached but later the Mate of the ‘Turmoil’, Kenneth Dancy, got aboard and the two of them managed to get a tow-line secured and a slow tow to Falmouth got crawling along.

Sadly, with only some 40 KM to run, the weather became extreme again, the tow parted, the ship listed yet further and the two guys were finally persuaded to leave the doomed ship.
{I well remember the news reporting that the two guys were repeatedly begged to leave the vessel and the two guys repeatedly refused.}

To give you some idea of the state of the ship when they finally left her – she was flat-out and they were able to walk along the funnel and jump into the sea to be picked up.

So, even though we don’t know  the full details of the recent tragedies, what little we do know would seem to suggest that a Masters duty to his passengers, crew and vessel have ‘moved on’ somewhat from those old days.

Quote;  Stephen King.

“you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.”

And Then They’ll Be Late Home….

So that man’s boat wot was chartered by a bunch of strange fellows who wanted to show us all how warm the world is, that promptly got stuck in the ice and then asked for help from another man’s boat that also got stuck in the ice wot then got help from another man’s boat which was diverted to lend assistance from its primary task of doing a summer resupplying and crew change run for a proper scientific community, is still playing out way down south.

Earlier, first man’s boat was informed, after a request, by independent weather forecasters that in four or five days wind speeds and direction would most likely facilitate conditions enabling men's boats to manoeuvre to open water. This, indeed, came to pass but not before, despite this information, but noting a marked depletion in milkshake and scotch stocks and a sort of, ‘I want to go home NOW!!’ attitude, a motley assortment of scientists{?}, media types, {or should that just be Tweeter types?}  and several supernumeraries were ‘rescued’ from first man’s boat  by third man’s boat using a chopper from second man’s boat. {Is that roughly right?}

All that to say this. First man’s boat is now snug as a bug in port in New Zealand. However, the ‘rescued’ trippies from first man’s boat are still ‘stuck’ down there sitting on third man’s boat waiting and waiting and waiting while the resupply work, being conducted by grownups, continues during suitable weather windows. Don’t that just make you smile out loud?

Quote;  Eskimo Proverb.

“You never really know your friends from your enemies until the ice breaks.”

And Then, Away We Sail….

Remember The Beach Boys?  Remember The Sloop John B?  This isn't The Beach Boys but it is The Sloop John B.  This version, I think you'll agree, is spot on.

If you quite liked that, forget it.  You'll love the next one. 

You know the occasionally quoted string of words I use here, hooks, crooks and comic singers?  Try this one, also  from The Fisherman's Friends, but, as it's a proper recording, it doesn't countenance in-bedding where I be so you need to do the click-an'-go. 

Go on, click, trust me, you'll enjoy it and come out the other side feeling better.  The next bit's wot you click on, or, if you're on a laptop, tap.  No-hopers, Jokers and Rogues.  'We're on a road to nowhere let's find out where it goes, it might be a ladder to the stars……'  Who knows?

You like that track?  I don't care what you say, I bet you did really.

Quote;  Pythagoras.

"Above the cloud with its shadow is the star with its light. Above all things reverence thyself."

And Then There Were A Couple Of Birds….

Got your attention?  You may be disappointed.

The Filthy Engineer posted a joke – an old joke, but, hay, look who’s talking, relating to a bird, a bloke and a boat.  This jogged my mind back to the past and a couple of true birdy and boaty stories.

The first relates to the cooks pet canary which spent its days in his cage hanging outside the galley singing happily.  Just to clarify, it was the bird in the cage.

One Saturday, known as sports day as we held fire and boat drills, me and another young fool beside, were instructed to fire off a couple of large Co2 fire extinguisher.  A combination of a miscalculation on our part aided by an unfavourable wind, lead to the demise of that little yellow fellow.  The cook, understandably, was not best pleased with this result which, in turn, resulted in us two fools having to sort through all our food with great care for the rest of the trip.

Another boat, another bird.  The Cabin Boy, who,  according to the bawdy ballad, was a wily lad, ended up with a caged canary obtained from some place down Africa way.
{Note; owing to various news items of late, I better point out that a Cabin Boy was the lowest ranking steward on mans boats.}

Each evening the Cabin Boy would take his caged canary out on deck to let the little guy get some fresh air.  He’d sit the cage on the deck at the front of the superstructure to be clear of windage.

Time passed and the little guy got more and more confident and opened the cage door more and more.  Over time it came to pass the canary would hop out of the cage, fly round the general area and then return to his cage.

Came the fateful day the canary got a tad too close the the ships side, lost a bit or superstructure protection, then ended up clear of all protection.

At this point the canary, despite his best frantic, flappy efforts to get back inboard, was rapidly being left behind.  The Cabin Boy, being a caring kind o’ kid, rushed to the Bridge to try what he knew was his only option. 

”Sir, my bird’s getting left behind!!   Please stop or slow the ship down so he can get back inboard!!” 

As luck would have it the Chief Mate, who’s watch it was, was not alone.  So it was the Captain who looked over to the lad and replied, “Son, you’ve just learnt a very valuable lesson.  Never, ever let a five knot canary out of his cage on a fifteen knot ship.”

The canary?  End of.

I have a ‘monkey on a boat’ story but I’ll leave that for another day.

Quote;  Herman Melville.

“A whaling ship was my Yale College and my Harvard.”

And Then, An Interesting Job….

Another irritating TV advert jingle doing the rounds just now meant I had to give the original an airing.  It’s by the boys and way down below.

The advert in question is for Toyota and that, once again, sent me back in time with the brain in full reverse remembering one of the most interesting jobs I’ve ever come across.

One of mans boats I was on was a general cargo/bulker that had had the holds converted to carry cars.  These were the days well before dedicated roll on roll off car carriers, or, as they were cleverly abbreviated, Ro-Ro boats.  

It did, however, look like a ship…….

……..rather than a really, really big biscuit tin.

Anyhoo, we would carry bulk, either grain in season, or coal to Japan, discharge, then, while sailing to the car loading ports we’d clean the holds and rig the car decks.  

This deck rigging was done with the cunning use of lots of snatch-blocks, each the size of a semi-detached two bedroom bungalow, reeving tackle and wires run from the derricks.  All up, cleaning and rigging, this would take a minimum of three days.  And there was no sleep or rest for all hands ‘till job done.  ‘Job done’ can also be cleverly abbreviated to JD.  This was cool if there was three days sailing from discharge port to loading port but total misery, cramming twenty four hours into every twelve, if there were only two days.

By the time the ship was moored at the car loading port we were absolutely, utterly, totally cream crackered.  Time to get some sleep.  Oh, wait a minute.  This is Japan, right?  No time for sleep now!!  Lets go!!

Sorry, my fingers wander where my brain takes them – let’s get back to that interesting job.

One of the ports we discharged the cars along the west coast of the States had a huge, I mean huge stand-by area for holding the cars, after discharge, until required.  Lots of ships, thousands of cars.  Our little boat could carry 1,200.

Okay, at last we’re at the interesting job.  There were two guys armed with master keys.  One started at, let’s say the bottom left corner of the car park and the other guy started top right.

And these two guys did what?  This is it, I promise – the interesting job.  Open car, start engine, roll car forward one foot, stop car, lock car, move to next car.  Open car, start engine, roll car forward one foot, stop car, lock car, move to next car.  Repeat ‘till you get a proper job. When they eventually met in the middle, back end of next month or the middle of next year, they’d go back and start again.  How cool is that then?

And that, in a nutshell, is how my old brain gets from one irrelevant topic to another.  Still awake?  Here’s the promised music then.  You’re asleep?  It’s all irrelevance then.

Take it away boys………         But this is my fave.

Quote;  Edward Heath.

“I have no interest in sailing around the world. Not that there is any lack of requests for me to do so.”

And Then I Went Way Back….

My mind drifted back to the past again yesterday.  Sadly, my body stayed here.  

While I was there I recalled two bits of songs.  Again, sadly, I couldn't regress further to remember all the word bits.

These songs relate to the pre-sea school I attended from age eleven to the earliest age you could legally leave and get on a boat.

The leaving song was a winner and sung at the end of every term to salute those leaving to climb onto their first ship.  Remembering the words I was struck by how, even in a school song, we were prepared for a total lack of cotton wooliness out there in wonderland.  This is the bit I remember;

So my lad now your school days are over,
Far too long you've been living in clover,
Now at last it is time to discover,
What Apprentices do when at sea.

Over seas and far up rivers,  (Dar-da- dar dar darrrrr)
Torrid heat will follow shivers,
Toil all day and when you blunder,
Here the First Mates vocal thunder threatening to rend asunder then you'll wish yourself at home.

'Tis good-by to friendly faces,
'Tis good-by to well known places…..

There's quite a few more 'tis bits I believe but that's the point where my head came back to the present.

Another unforgettable sing-a-song was sung, I believe, to a Gilbert and Sullivan song – probably from The Pirates of Penzance.  The only bit I remember is this;

'Tis….  lots of 'tisses is there?  Almost as many 'tisses as those thusses of that other post….. 'Tis an English ship and an English crew, so give three cheers for the boys in blue!

This was always sung to the words  ….English ship and a Chinese crew…. by the nonconformists – the vast majority – as not many conformists wanted to got to sea. 

This always seemed to grip the masters who would attempt, time after time, to convince us to 'get it right' using cool, calm reasoning followed by a good flogging with the ropes end, a ruler or a large dead rodent. (I believe the Masters motto was, 'We'll make 'em learn using a little kindness and a lot o' cruelty.'  One day a navigation teacher, an ex Royal Navy Commander, told us the best we could expect in life would be to end up as pimps.  We weren't  quite sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing as we had no idea what a pimp was. Back then remember, our understanding of the criminal underworld and its slang was limited to watching Dixon of Dock Green and Z Cars.)

On reflection the bit about English ships and Chinese crews was quite prophetic.  Is there such a thing as an English AB working on any merchant ships deck any more? Or an English Donkey Greaser working in the moving parts department?  Probably not for many years now.  Remember the post relating to railway stations, soldiers and nuns?  Those days are gone but now you can pretty much bet the farm on seeing four or six Filipinos on any flight to or from Europe who will be joining or leaving a ship.
 

Later, I reflected on the favoured flogging implement at that school, the ropes end, favoured to follow nautical tradition I guess.  I reflected twice and 'tis thus; 

A) STOP RIGHT THERE – Why would I say 'twice', which suggests numbers, then start with an A?  If I was going to start with an A I should've preceded with, 'I reflected alphabetically and 'tis thus'..  Let's start again;
1) The ropes end sure did sting but didn't leave any of us mentally scared in any way, or filled with the need to go out and hurt kittens and/or old ladies.
2) As a deterrent, it didn't work all that well.

Anyhoo, you never know, maybe there's someone out there who remembers all the words to the songs.  Maybe there's someone out there who remembers the name of the tunes the words were set to.  Maybe we could get together and put it on YouTube.   Maybe I'll take my medication early today.

Quote;  Samuel Johnson.

“There is now less flogging in our great schools than formerly, but then less is learned there; so that what the boys get at one end they lose at the other.”

And Then, Here They Be….

Following on from yesterday, and in response to a response I made to a comment from The Filthy Engineer, below are a couple of photos of mans boat – La Falda. Possibly of no interest other than to me and him – or him and I – or he and I – or he and me – or, simply put, us two.

That's me in the chain locker.

Whenever I look back down the tunnel of time I always seen to linger on things safety and compare then and now. Sorry.

Joined La Falda in November of a year a loooong time ago. The days of ships of wood and men of steel, had recently passed but still waaaaay before the clammy hand holding days of nanny with her safety hats, funny coloured overalls {in fact, any form of overall!}, safety boots {in fact, any form of boot!}, safety gloves {in fact, any form of glove!}, safety glasses, ear defenders, safety harnesses, hair nets, work permits, safety officers, safety meetings or any of that other safety stuff. Fire and boat drill every Saturday afternoon, while at sea, end of.

Safety Brief on joining the ship? That came as a 'by-the-by' from the Bo'sun as he passed me on deck after we'd been at sea a few days and comprised of one, all encompassing sentence, "Remember kid, one hand for the ship; one hand for yourself." Worked for me and seemed to work for everyone I ever sailed with over the years.

Ah, the Bo'sun. Later the following year, I vividly remember the ship, many days from port, running out of all alcohol owing to poor ordering by the Chief Steward, an act he was never forgiven for, and I overheard the Chief Mate remark to the Second Mate, "Tell you what, I never knew the Bo'sun drank 'till I saw him sober yesterday."

My favourite safety quote? It's still that one wot my little nest of vipers hit me with a while back. You may enjoy the whole post. "If you keep trying to hold my hand, I'll never learn to walk on my own."

Quote; Samuel Johnson.

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company."

And Then There Was Navigation….

I see this morning that the mans boat that had a bit of a do the other day was, allegedly, four miles off course. Another report states the Captain got too close to land. They’re kidding right? Got too close to the land? Hay, there’s ‘close’, there’s ‘closer’ and there’s trying to get him on the highway.

I've talked of Tom Tom in the car before and in view of this, and the above, I feel the government should speed up their summit in relation to satellite navigation stuff and the up-dating of the maps therein. You think mans boat could've been using Sat Nav and just followed orders? "Turn right at the next sticky-out bit of land."

See? We all thought the government was just wasting time, worrying about the odd truck that gets stuck because the driver didn't up-date his Sat Nav maps, or, more likely, neglected to look out the window, when all along they knew better, as ever, than us. Still can’t help thinking there’s madness in their methods all the same.

Quote; George William Curtis.

“It is not the ship so much as the skilful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage.”