And Then, Fusing Yarn...

   Yesterday afternoon, while I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at our door. I proceeded to the door and upon opening said door, discovered, standing there, was just my neighbour, nothing more. Absolutely no sign of a raven.
   Anyhoo, the reason for his tap, tapping at our door? He came to enquire as to if we’d lost electrickery. I ensured the late twenties early thirties fellow that we had not lost lecky. 
“Oh dear.” said he, “Guess I need to get an electrician then.” to which I enquired, “Before you go to the expense of an amp tramp, have you checked your fuses?” 
His face went blank and I could tell he thought I’d broken into a form of the English language not used for many generations other than in some remote rural areas of Norfolk**.
   I went next door with him and enquired if he had a flashlight. Went back to mine to get one and to save another journey, collected my fuse wire, nippers and screwdriver.
   Now, I’ve heard yarns regards young folk being unable to change a lightbulb so from thereon, I used this as a little training exercise stressing at every step that electrickery can really, really hurt – or worse.  
   Yup, third fuse I checked had indeed blown. Fixed, fitted so I allowed the chap the thrill of throwing the master switch. Oh, the look of joy that lit-up his little face as lights lit-up. He turned to me and said, ”Whoa, aren’t you clever!”
I managed to choked back my chosen response, “Whoa, aren’t you dumb!” However, him thinking I’m clever may change once he sees the invoice I’m about to push through his letterbox... 
**I really can’t let mention of Norfolk go by without gluing this archaeological gem, shamelessly copied from The Daily Mash so many years ago, here again can I:

HUMANS in East Anglia may have been using tools as early as just before the Second World War, it has emerged.
Most early Norfolk technology was used to make cows more sexually alluring.
It had been believed that technology was first used in the remote region in 1994, when a local man picked up a stick and used it to attack a tree.
But archaeologists have uncovered several items which they believe will lead to a radical rewriting of Norfolk history to be read by people who are not from Norfolk.
Among the dramatic finds were a spoon, a box of half-eaten crayons and a device which experts believe was used for putting make-up on a cow.
Meanwhile a Bakelite radio dating from the late 1930s has also been discovered in a shed near Saxthorpe, where it is still worshipped by local tribes as a prophet.
Wayne Hayes, a hedgehog wrangler from Corpusty, said: “Old Talky has been round these parts since before the time of memory. It’s inhabited by the magical Archer family and their tales from the future.”
Other artefacts included an unread PG Wodehouse novel and shards of broken pottery that seem to indicate early Norfolk Man had tremendous difficulty in co-ordinating his three-fingered hands.
Archaeologist, Tom Logan, said: “Local folklore tells of a creature called ‘Ali’ that brought humans to Norfolk, though we think it probably means the A11.
“Nobody knows what drove early Norfolk Man so far East but one theory involves a strong desire to be as far away from Essex as possible without having to live in the sea.”

Quote;  Dave Barry.

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you’ve been drinking.”