13 Oct 2018

And Then, Don’t Eat That...

I see A K Haart has spotted the problem with pizza and pies and how they’re in the authorities sights now. Why? We’re all, mainly the young, getting fat they say. I’ve mentioned my scientific study into kids obesity before. A study not conducted in front of a computer but actually watching kids wending their way to and from school. A study confirmed by the findings of Mr Haart. Interestingly, both Mr Haart and myself conducted our research and came to our conclusions without recourse  to any funding whatsoever. Hay, ‘experts’, there are no fat kids, okay? Leave them – and us – alone. If only eh?

Hello? If you’re getting fat, and don’t give it no never mind, have at it. If you’re getting fat and aren’t happy, take the appropriate measures to thin up some. Not hard to figure out is it? You up there, stop trying to hold everyone’s hands.  I’ll repeat my little nest of vipers classic line: If you keep trying to hold my hand, I’ll never learn to walk on my own.”

If it’s some cunning plan to save the NHS, a treasure in its own tea time, from being over burdened with fat folk and thus save money, may I suggest to those ‘running’ the NHS, a treasure in its own tea time, that there are other ways to save some kelly so’s to be able to take care of the odd tubby.

Last week I was in receipt of three bulky envelopes from three different NHS, a treasure in its own tea time, addresses, letting me know that I should get my eyes tested every two years and I could even apply to have the test carried out in the comfort of my own home. How much did that mailshot cost then? Wot’s the cost of having optometrists roaming round our towns and cities doing the testing? As I’m quietly confident I wasn’t the only one to receive these docs, and bin ‘em, one can imagine the cost to be the equivalent to the cost of many tubby sized beds. Cool if I need it but if I do need it, I’ll find out myself at the time what’s what as I can use a phone and I have a voice. I don’t need three bulky, high quality paper mailshots, okay?

Or is it a jobs for the boys creation exercise? Who’s going to ‘police’ this latest lunacy? With there being a pizza takeaway joint on just about every street corner in the country, every council in the land is going to need a Department For The Control Of Calories complete with a director, a manager, assistant manager, line managers, a legal team, ground-force coordinating officers and, country wide, tens of thousands of Council Calorie Counting Inspectors. And assistants. And a council transport pool. How cool. Wot about pies you say? That’ll come later with new dedicated pie departments. But that’s only common sense.

Anyhoo, alcohol and tobacco ring a bell? No slippery slope? Remember that stunner?

I have a suggestion, although probably a tad too late; if you find yourself enjoying something, keep the fact to yourself. If you discover many other people share your particular enjoyment, use that social media thingy to get the word out for them all to keep the word in.

Enjoy wot they’ve left you to enjoy; this is the only ‘go’ you’re going to get. 

Quote;  Kirstie Alley.

“There's a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are.”


A K Haart said...

We each had a cream scone this afternoon and in spite of all the expert warnings we didn't blow up like barrage balloons. When we feel like it we'll have another and the result will be the same so maybe we could also save money by losing a few experts.

Mac said...

A K Haart,
Too late I believe. 'They' won't be happy until 'they' have complete control over every moment of our lives.