15 Mar 2018

And Then, Speaking English...

...again. I remember boy Cummerbund mentioning this when he was pretending to be in charge of stuff and I commented at the time. Remember wot? English lessons. Seems now Savage Javelin has ‘calculated’ that there could be as many as seven hundred and seventy thousand folk in the country who can’t speak English.  I beg to differ and I’d put money on the figure being way, way in excess of a million. There’s our own school kids for a start...

Anyhoo, as Me and her... sorry, her and I have had up close and personal dealings with the UK visa process I only have one question. Actually two as the first leads to the second.

So this is the procedure as I remember it and as this goes back a bit I’m quietly confident the process is a tad harder today. Oh, and there were no exceptions for spouses or family. The below does not apply for six month ‘holiday’ visas although getting one of those can be a run around as well.

To get a two year visa you needed proof of adequate funds, a UK address and a guarantor. Those two years were called a probationary period upon completion of which you were expected to apply for an indefinite leave to remain visa. 

To meet the requirements for indefinite leave to remain, you were required to show proof of adequate funds in a UK bank, proof of a permanent UK address and a pass in the Life in the UK test – go on, have a go; a tad tricky if you can’t read English - or an ESOL certificate. That would be English for Speakers of Other Languages and that required a costly course at a collage providing said course, cumulating in an oral and written exam. Upon passing this you do get a very nice looking certificate from Cambridge University.

Upon application, if you fail to provide one of the above English requirements the answer from the immigration authorities was, sorry, no visa, go home and no refund of application fee by the way. Bu-by.

Thus my first question, again, to whomsoever thinks they’re in charge, is what sort of visa are these non English speakers here on? If it’s a two year jobbie, they should already be beavering away learning English ready to meet indefinite leave to remain visa requirements and there is absolutely no need whatsoever to throw fifty mill of our money at the process. Or they plan on going home after two years. However, if they’re already on a leave to remain visa, how did they get said visa without one of the two English requirements noted above? And that leads to my second question; is there, in fact, anybody up there who knows the visa process? Or could said person enlighten me on the process that granted visas to so many non English speaking folk and how we managed to miss that option? Hello? Seven hundred and seventy thousand child refugees?

Put in its simplest terms, anyone here on a leave to remain visa, by definition of the requirements, can understand and speak English. To look at it from another angle, if Savage Javelin knows the whereabouts of all these folk who can’t speak English, just round ‘em up and send ‘em home as, again by definition, they must be here illegally on many grounds, right?

Further to this, when the BBC broke this money for English language stuff, they went out-and-about, as they do, and interviewed several ladies, all similarly attired in natty one-piece head to foot kit, who all replied to questioning in virtually perfect English. What was that all about then?

For more depression on a wet evening, try Old Righty on how awful our parliament has become. After that, do you really want to get your teeth, or in my case tooth – grinding?

After all that and those two links, I do hope I’m still here tomorrow...

Quote;  Julie Burchill.

“It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.”

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