Did a little shopping today in preparation for the return to the nest of my little viper and while toiling along a street full of shops, it was no surprise to see so many not full but empty. However, amongst all the deserted properties I stumbled into a bakery type shop and noticed a really big sign behind the counter advertising hot sandwiches with the interesting rider that they’d build one to your wishes.
A bored looking assistant approached and asked thus; “Good morning sir, what would you like?” I bit my tong regarding being addressed as ‘sir’. How very dare she assume I’m identifying as a fellow today! Anyhoo, I hid my hurt feelings and continued thus;
”I see from your signage that you can build anything I’d like.”
”That we can good sir.” Damn! Sir again. And she assumes I’m good? What can I do? I’m so far from my safe space! I counted to ten, regained my composure and proceed thus;
”In that case I’d like you to build me a double wardrobe in the late Edwardian style please.” This got the expected laughter from the young serving person dressed as a lady, her colleague further down the counter similarly attired and two other customers cleverly outfitted as one of each.
The mirth was soon forgotten and moments later I was in possession of the biggest bread bun I’ve ever seen wherein resided a nutritional and vitamin rich collection of fried bacon, sausages, eggs, tomatoes, a hash brown and onions. Upon leaving I opined how rubbish us men are at shopping as I originally came in for a double wardrobe and I’m leaving with a mega, heart stopping brunch bun and no wardrobe. Happy chuckles and the door hit me on the ass as I left.
Quote; Elayne Boosler.
“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”
4 comments:
Sounds like a perfect breakfast. As a minor variation I'd have replaced the hash brown with a slice of black pudding.
Are we allowed to call it black pudding these days?
A K Haart,
Good point but I’m sure it wasn’t on the list of available items. Probably left off the menu for reasons you mention. Would it be any more acceptable just calling it Pigs Blood and Diced Pork Fat Pudding? I'm guessing that'd cause a complete melt down among the younger folk who quite like it but have absolutely no idea what it really is.
Yes indeed. The less you know about how sausages are made, the better you sleep at night.
Timbotoo,
Ain't that the truth. See those sausages that have been in the butchers window, in the sun, for a week and remain unsold? Will the butcher bin 'em or mince 'em in with the next batch of sausage meat of dubious origins? I'll have to think about that and get back to you...
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