18 Dec 2017

And Then, By Magic...

Over the past many days of DIY I’ve noticed that one thing hasn’t changed over the years.

When decorating you always find areas, such as cracks, that need filling. Pardon? Yes, I know you filled them last time but there they are again asking to be filled.

Wot to do? Reach for a tub of that ready mixed filler of course. I can’t remember the name but I seem to think it has something to do with parrot food for some reason.

Anyhoo, gouge out the crack, clean out and apply the filler with the appropriate tool –then scrape off the excess to leave a smooth finish. So far, so what?  So this is where the magic kicks in.

All finished so retreat down the steps and turn to admire your work. This is when you spot a spot of filler sitting slightly proud so up the steps you go, lick the tip of your forefinger and carefully smooth the offending protrusion down then once more climb down to floor level, look up and all looks good so you reach for your rag to wipe your forefinger tip. This is the point you realize that, although only the tip of one finger was involved in the dabbing of a minute mound of filler, the filler has magically coated every finger and the palms and backs of both hands. How does it do that?

It’s also interesting to note that the filler applied to the required repair area will take several hours to dry whereas any filler coming into contact with human skin instantaneously goes rock-hard.

Later, in the shower, you find your toes are also liberally coated. That stuff is truly magical.

Quote;  Robert M. Hutchins.

“This is a do-it-yourself test for paranoia: you know you've got it when you can't think of anything that's your fault.”


A K Haart said...

Hang on - you licked the tip of your forefinger? Did you check your tongue for those telltale traces of filler? First cup of tea had a chalky taste? Worth checking I'd say because the stuff gets everywhere.

I sometimes make the mistake of not changing into my DIY clothes first. It's only a tiny bit of filling I tell myself, can't possibly get any on my clothes...

Mac said...

A K Haart,
The finger licking goes back into the mists of time and my early learning of all things DIY and is supposed to prevent stuff such as putty and filler from adhering to bodily appendages. Didn’t work then and doesn’t work now but I still do it in the hope it will work one day.
Cloths? Aint that the truth. I started these projects with one set of ‘dirty cloths’ and three sets for ‘appearing in public’. Now? Three dirty, one public. And I just know that’s going to change(?) in the coming days.