15 Apr 2017

And Then A Frenzy...

We passed, briefly, through a few shops both yesterday and today and I was amazed to find the roads extremely busy, all carparks full and the stores way busier than even at the height of the Christmas bedlam. Then it dawned on me it’s the Easter weekend and, true to English folks form, they were obviously frantically stocking-up for tomorrow. Easter Sunday when the shops will be shut. Shut for just one day.

Actually, that frenzy may have been exacerbated by feeling the need to stock-up to be prepared for Armageddon should Kimmy and Trumpton kick-off. “Whoa!!  You seen the news? The world may be going boom soon! Better get some more beans so’s we can go boom too!”

Not sure what an extra few tins of baked beans will mean come the apocalypse as I’ve no previous experience of such a cataclysmic event, but there you go. You’ve got to do something, right? I’m sure there’s an Armageddon computer model out there somewhere. If not, I guess they could use one of they climate change predictive models. That should be close enough for jazz I guess.

As for any aftermath period before we’re all gone, what will the later ramifications be? What will the reaction of ASH be to all that seriously bad smoke? How will the ‘diesel cars are bad, not good; sorry about that’ fellows cope with all that noxious global pollutant? And the charities; damn! Where to start? Save what and how now? Global warming activists? Man, they’ll be insufferable with their, “See? We told you it’d get warmer!”  Eventually, when it’s all gone quiet, the cockroaches will realise that, at last, it’s all theirs.Who cares? As the clouds gather, us Brits will all be safe in the knowledge that the queuing was well worth it and we have an emergency can of baked beans in the kitchen and a vase of daffodils on our windowsills.

Seriously, isn’t there even one grownup in charge of anything anywhere anymore?

Anyhoo, let’s end with a re-showing of the ‘lighter’ side of Armageddon. Smile away your Saturday; we may not have too many left.  Armageddon!!


Quote;  Neil Gaiman.

“Honestly, if you're given the choice between Armageddon or tea, you don't say 'what kind of tea?’”

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