19 Jan 2016

And Then A Test....

Did you hear Mr Cummerbund all over the place yesterday talking about the need for all our newcomers to be able to speak English and thus has found twenty mill to enable said foreign folk to do the learning pretty much free?

Her along the sofa certainly noticed as evidenced by the steam gently rising from her head. She’s obviously reflecting on the huge sums, per term, it cost us. Why not? We wanted the ‘leave to remain visa’ and, being law abiding sort of folk, played by their book and did what needed to be done.

Dave started the day saying one thing and obviously one of his minions thought, “Oh, oh...” did a Googly thingy, passed a note to Dave and his later utterances where amended accordingly. From saying all foreign folk here should learn English it changed to, should be tested after two and a half years to check progress{?}. Sadly, even this is missing the mark as a simple Google throws this at ya: 

English Language Requirement

All applicants wishing to enter the UK as a spouse or unmarried partner of a British citizen or a person settled in the UK must satisfy the English Language Requirement. Prospective applications must pass an acceptable English language test with one of our approved test providers unless they can show that:

  • They are a national of a majority English-speaking country or
  • They hold a degree taught in English

By taking the test, applicants will need to demonstrate a basic command of English (speaking and listening) at level A1 of the Common European Framework of Reference.

Back a good ways when we did it, it went something like this:
Apply at a British Embassy in applicants country for a two year visa. This is not just a matter of rolling up, finding the visa desk and asking for a two year jobby. There are many and varied hurdles and hoops to negotiate. If you get through them all satisfactorily and get through the interview, you get a two year ‘probationary’ visa. {Further visas can be applied for in the UK.}

This gives you two years to prepare for applying for a ‘leave to remain’ visa or, I guess, a five year jobby. Similar hurdles, just higher with far tighter hoops. All a-flame.

Oh, one more thing; get to an approved collage, wait for a place, hand over a wad, learn English, take the exam and get a pass certificate. This, I think, has now been expanded during one of boy Dave’s ‘tough on immigration’ moments, to also require the Life in the UK test.  As a by-the-by, when I try that test on-line, I fail every time.

So Dave, the question is, how did all these non or poor English speaking folk that you now want to teach English at no cost to the pupil but obviously a cost to the tax payer, and thus allow them to pass through the mystic ‘integration’ gateway, get the visa they seem to have been here for so long on in the first place? See the problem there Dave? Before you pop back into your rubber room tonight, figure that one out and you could save us twenty mill and, who knows, possibly thin out the countries head-count.

Today, unsurprisingly, our new bestest ever, perpetually offended, friends are saying how offended they are by this offer. I think it’s safe to say other groups will be shouting, “Free you say? Oh, yes please!” In their own language of course.

To end on a fun note, and I’m looking at you in particular  Ripper, go over here and have fun! Sign-up to download the generated tune. It is of course, JukeDeck. Have fun.

Quote;  Ambrose Bierce.

“Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.”

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