With the latest revelations regarding a study done relating to shopping bargains, and that all that's marked down may well be marked up, the first thing that sprang, young gazelle-like, into my swede was, they needed a study to sus this out? Really? There you go then.
As I listened with rapped attention to this revelation on TV, and myself always having an eye out for true bargains, her along the sofa said, "See? I tell you all the time bargain no bargain at all. Listen to them and next time you see bargain, listen to me too."
To be honest, I've no idea if she said 'to' 'two' or 'too'. It sounded a lot like 'tu'. I used 'too' to show off by grasp of the different meanings of all the 2's. Although it's not often I'm wright and I'm probably wrong again.
While she berated me and my bargain hunting I reflected how lucky I am to blessed with two ears, that's 'two' meaning a pair, and while her words poured into one of them, in real time, I utilised the other to eject those words into the past.
Finding myself a tad on the back-foot, I reverted to the old adage that attack is the best form of defence, or, as used by Mr Cummerbund, surrender is the best form of cowardice, and brought up the thorny subject of colanders.
"Hay, remember those buy two get a third free colanders? You broken any yet while moving them between the sink and the draining board? You know, to show what a bang on deal that turned out to be, you having a plentiful supply of spares an' all?" I then sat back smugly. And waited. And waited.
She withdrew further towards her end of the sofa and I knew from her expression exactly what was running through her mind and it wasn't pretty and went something like this, "Okay, you win. This time. When I'm ready to go on the attack again you'll regret ever mentioning my prize winning collection of indestructible stainless steel colanders."
So Dave, what's to do with that vote regarding chasing foxes? Cancelled 'coz you might not win the vote? See above then.
Quote; Elayne Boosler.
"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
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