19 Jul 2015

And Then A TV Idea….

Even if you only watch thirty minutes of TV a day, you can't help but have noticed TV seems to be predominately made up of cooking all over the world – hold that thought - cooking everything from barbeques right through to baking, and quiz shows. Then they repeat all these shows featuring totally unknown, at least to me, celebrities. We then have shows featuring these celebrities having to pretend to survive some place or get out of some stuff.

This Sunday morning, with the rain battering the window, I noted the imminent start of the fourth cooking program and had a thought. Then I thought a little more and thought that this idea could be a winner on several levels.

Let's combine all those junky shows into one show; a show stopper. We'll start the program with twelve unknown celebrities taking part in a quick-fire general knowledge quiz. The four left standing go home. The eight remaining losers get landed on an island and need to find the safe haven and thus get off the island using just their wits.

So? So, meantime, four members of the local island tribe will prepare for their task. So? So, their task is to track down four of the eight minor celebrities catch 'em and take 'em back to their village. So? So, and here-in lies the kicker, the local tribe are cannibals…

Once the four young cannibals have caught a celebrity each and got 'em back to the village, they'll slice and dice the four minor celebrities, cook 'em, garnish 'em and plate 'em up ready to be tasted and judged by two of the villages leading five-star gourmet cannibal cooks. The fine young cannibal cook who serves up the tastiest celebrity enriched dish will go through to next weeks show.

It would have everything you need for good TV; a quiz to join in with at home, survival in a hostile environment, fending for themselves, the natural world, the thrill of the chase, the art of butchery and finally, cooking taken to a whole hell of a new level. {Possibly not for airing before the oh-twenty-one hundred hours o'clock PM watershed.}

Win, win. A quiz, adventure and we're taught how to prepare emergency nose-bag for when food becomes scares owing to the land being concreted over and built on with the remainder being infested with windmills. At the same time, we'd also be slowly reduce the number of unknown celebrities that clutter up the TV feasting on the public purse and have a riveting, ratings topping TV show to boot.

I would've thought it could be right up the BBC's street given its present state of self flagellation while attempting to convince one and all it's the bestest thing ever and needs much more money, and not a penny less, to fund all those repetitive repeats of  programs, last seen almost as long ago as an hour, featuring a slowly reducing flock of unknown celebrities.

Quote;  Graham Chapman.

"There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount."

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