29 Jul 2015

And Then One Or The Other….

There seem to be two popular climate scary stories; we are going to bake in a desert or drown as the ice melts at the poles and water rushes from north to south and south to north and we disappear under, according to the most scary of the scary stories, a quarter mile of water rise.

When I secure my climate research grant for frog and I and gain prominence in the field of SES, Scare 'em Silly, I plan on speaking at one of they IPCC SES NMM, Need More Money, jamborees they hold regarding all us full-time, well paid 'professional frighteners' getting together and coming to an agreement on which scary story we need to headline.

Why? Well, it seems to me the two scary stories, baking and drowning, can't live together so we need to concentrate on just the one and relentlessly and frighteningly hammer it home.

Why? Well, which comes first?  The way I see it is that it'll take a goodly while to turn our, or their fertile lands into desert, right?  But, on the other hand, stiff water melts quite quickly. With the two scary stories running together what are folk to think? You wake up one morning and open the curtains to see a desert baking in a relentless sun so spend the day adjusting the central heating thermostat to suit these scary conditions just go to bed at days end and, through the night, drown? People are going to get confused so I will recommend we skip the desert step in the scary stories.

Anyhoo, during my research with my plastic frog, and reviewing many prophesies from the PFPP, the Popular Front for Public Panic, one thing has become extremely obvious after reviewing their twenty years{?} of prophesies relating to where we should be and looking out the window to see where we really are, that these scary story climate fellows are definitely on to something. What I believe they're on to is a secret supply of a highly potent hallucinogenic drug that's not yet available on the streets.

People, please don't be afraid of the dark.


Oh, by the way, it's very soon to be Windows 10 upgrade time and I'm pretty sure I'll be close to the top of the priority download list so if I disappear again you'll know it didn't go too well, okay? And just in case it's the usual unmitigated disaster and takes a while to sort out, may I wish you all a very happy Christmas. Say what now? Everything's backed up just in case? You think I'm nuts? Of course not.

Quote;  Steven Wright.

“What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”

            Cameron Jace.

“Stare at the dark too long and you will eventually see what isn’t there.”


Caratacus said...

Your comment about ice melting and water rushing urgently hither and yon, I was reminded of a book by the redoubtable David Gemmell - "Wolf in Shadow". Well worth a read if you would see the world after a cataclysmic resetting of physical parameters and so forth. In one of the three JS books we even have the Titanic poised perilously on a mountain top in a desert plain... Excellent stuff and well worth a read - if you haven't already, of course!

Mac said...

Thanks for that and, at this time, no, I haven't but I will be doing so. Thanks again.
Still excitedly waiting for Windows 10 at this time. Seems I wasn't on the VIP list after all...