15 May 2015

And Then A Gravel Top-up….

A few, or, as it transpired, phew, days ago my little nest of vipers was wandering in the garden when she mentioned the pea gravel had some low spots. I said she was quite right and it just needed a rake over.

I could see by her expression that, although she could see this wasn't too shabby an idea, it wasn't her idea and so to agree with me would show a measure of weakness.
"I be think we get some ton new ton and fill in." Said with a look that said far more.

Guess wot? This is wot we done did.

Take a step back with me for a moment. Yes, we like grass and we did indeed have a lawn. Is there anything as nice as the smell of new cut grass on a lazy summer afternoon? There's always a single prop plane high overhead as well isn't there? And is there honey still for tea? Not since I got the deep fat fryer..…..

Problem with that is you have to cut the grass to experience the smell so, a few years ago, we decided to dig up the turf, lay that weed supressing stuff and plant pea gravel on top. Ten tons of it. Now we sit and enjoy the shifting sunlight on the rustic gravel and soak up the smell of new cut grass as our neighbours toil in the afternoon glow. Yes, and the colours of the flowers and my weeds and the occasional colour of our neighbours language as their lawn mowers encounter stones an' such.

Anyhoo, upon delivery of the gravel, it transpired the delivery truck driver was somewhat of a Timidadian and the closest he would get to the front of the house was so far away his jib wouldn't even get the load onto the car hard-standing. {He'd already ruled out the back, where the original ten tons was dropped off exactly where we needed it, as he wouldn't be able to extend his stabilizing feet the newly required minimum length for a one ton lift.}

back at the front, my suggestion to pull further onto the grass verge, a very wide grass verge, was met with an hour long seminar on the Health and Safety regulations which, in a nutshell, state this is not possible in this day and age. Thus the one ton of pea gravel was left on the verge.

"I believe it's about ten runs with a wheelbarrow. If you have a wheelbarrow." said the cheerful, job done driver.
"I have a wheelbarrow but I call it a barrow as it's of the wheelless type." I whined.
This reminded me of something that goes along the lines of, 'If we had bacon we could have bacon and eggs. If we had eggs.'

What to do? From the position the big bag of gravel was deposited to where the gravel is actually required is a little over thirty meters so let's call it thirty two yards and all I have is a bucket. Three buckets actually. Buckets are a lot like colanders when it comes to having spares.

Much to my surprise, the task was completed in about two and a half hours. I was impressed. Well done her!! Pardon? A break you say? Of course I gave her a break. What sort of person do you take me for? Every tenth bucket I stood up and walked along side her holding a water bottle to her parched lips. I also spelled her for a full fifteen minutes when she collapsed. And let me tell you, those fifteen minutes were tough going as she couldn't drag herself out of the way so I had the disadvantage of having to step over her prone body where she'd fallen right across the path.

What? Oh, come on you lot!! I'm joking, okay? It's a joke for heavens sake! Of course she managed to crawl out of the way!

Quote;  Dave Barry.

“Your basic guy is into a straight-ahead, bottom-line kind of thought process that does not work nearly as well with the infinitely subtle complexities of human relationships as it does with calculating how much gravel is needed to cover a given driveway.”


A K Haart said...

I bet the gravel gets warm on a sunny day. That single prop plane is probably getting some lift from the thermals you create.

Mac said...

A K Haart,
That's a very good point - south facing as well.
I may now explore the possibility of extending and running the cold water feed to the hot water side below the gravel; solar panel style....