Plucked, with just a hint of guilt, from Darth Meerkat, is a perfect tale for these modern times.
I'm guessing this won't apply to the younger generation as they don't use English like wot us olden foke wuz tort in skool but if you happen to be old it's a salutary tale and makes you wonder how many, when attempting to communicate with friends and family, struggling with fancy new technology, squinting with aging eyes at little screens, have been hoist by their own petard predictive typing.
THE TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I’m sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you, particularly in the mornings after you’ve left for work. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse I know. The temptation was just too much... I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won't happen again.
Regards, Alan.
THE ACTIONS:
Bob, feeling anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife twice, killing her instantly. He returned to the lounge where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone to respond to the neighbour’s text and saw he had another message:
Hi Bob, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you worked it out anyway as I’m sure you noticed my predictive text changed ‘WiFi’ To ‘Wife’. Technology hey?!?
Hope you saw the funny side of that.
Regards, Alan.
Quote; Brian Christian.
“The more helpful our phones get, the harder it is to be ourselves. For everyone out there fighting to write idiosyncratic, high-entropy, unpredictable, unruly text, swimming upstream of spell-check and predictive auto-completion: Don't let them banalize you. Keep fighting.”
Robin Sloan.
“I sit up straight and do the first thing a person is supposed to do in an emergency, which is send a text message.”
3 comments:
My phone is an old Nokia which only does phone calls and texts. Smaller than most smart phones and the battery lasts for ages.
A K Haart,
Way to go. I've had a small smartphone for about a year now and it hasn't done anything remotely smart yet.
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