28 Sep 2014

And Then Shock And Awe….

If you watched the news yesterday, any channel, any time, wasn’t it sad to see how desperate all the ‘presenters’ were for something to shock and awe us all with? And why is it necessary, these days, to have so many ‘presenters’, many with fancy titles, scattered all over the globe all repeating each other?

”So, after that unanimous vote yesterday in the House of Gubbins, our Tornados are going to start armed missions over some sand. Let’s go to our Special, Standing Outside A House, correspondent in Downing Street.”
”Yes, after that unanimous vote yesterday, our Tornados are, indeed, going to start armed missions over the beach and in the last ten minutes a car, a very big car, drew-up and someone got out and went into No. 10. This may well signal the start of missions. Or it may be a plumber. We don’t know at this time. Now back to you on the beach.”
”Thanks for that insightful report. So, with the arrival of that car, a very big car, things seem to be hotting up and armed missions, voted for yesterday, may well start soon. Let’s see what our Standing Near A Runway reporter has to say from Cyprus.”
”Well, this is it!! After that unanimous vote yesterday, in favour of our Tornados being allowed to start armed missions over some sand, two of our six Tornadoes are now parked on the runway and may well take off when someone gives the order. However, at this time, there’s nobody sitting in that glass bit at the front but things are definitely on the move, but for now, back to you on the beach.”
”So that’s the situation in Cyprus right now. Let’s cross to our Deputy Political Party Conference Sub-editor, who’s standing next to a jolly big building in Birmingham, for an update. How are things in Birmingham then? Tense?”
”Well, as politicians arrive here in Birmingham, after voting yesterday in favour of our Tornados being allowed to start armed missions over some sand, there is definitely the occasional tense sound of an aircraft passing overhead. These may, indeed, be Tornados. Or not. From a very tense conference, b
ack to you on the beach.”
”So, with armed missions sanctioned, let’s j
ust recap; after that unanimous vote yesterday, in favour of our Tornados starting armed missions over the beach the arrival of a car, a very big car, at No. 10 and the breaking news that two Tornados are sitting outside, with, at present, nobody sitting inside, it may only be a matter of weeks before we drop a bomb. We will, of course keep you all fully informed minute by minuet, but for now over to Doncaster for the afternoon racing selections.”

Breaking news!! Two Tornados have completed two missions but no ordnance was used. Secretary of State for Defence {defence?}, Michael Fallon, stated the missions would probably go on for months rather than weeks.  Mike, may I humbly suggest they’ll go on for a lot longer than that if they don’t actually bomb anything.

On the visual side of the reporting, I was saddened to see that, owing to the hourly cost of running one of those suckers in the air, and in an attempt to save a buck, the crews weren’t being issued with any trousers!!  Upon paying better attention it transpired they’re wearing desert kit. Okay, I’m old and my eyes are a tad dim, but take a quick, sidewise sort-a look, a very quick look, at this and you may see what I saw……


Changing the subject, as you do, to climate change, there was a comment on Mr Booker’s weekly column that sums it all up quite nicely don’t ya thunk?

Thank you   ghostofakid
“If the only solution to global warming was lowering taxes, we would never hear a politician mention the phrase again.”

That is all so stick the ol’ ear buds in, kick-back, relax, click and take a little inside Air.

Quote;  Krzysztof Kieslowski.

“The television industry doesn't like to see the complexity of the world. It prefers simple reporting, with simple ideas: this is white, that's black; this is good, that's bad.”


Ripper said...

Mac, you will never grow old! Thanks for another laugh.

Mac said...

Ripper, Thank you. Your comment reminded me of the time Woody Allen was being interviewed and was asked, "What would you like people to be saying about you a hundred years from now?" To which he replied,"I'd like them to be saying, 'Gee, you look damn good for your age!'".