17 Jul 2014

And Then It May Be Warm….

I do hope you’ve all been paying attention to the news today warning of the possibility that it could be hot today and may even hover around 20 C. through the night. Or you may indeed have spotted ol’ Big Shiny burning bright through your windows.

The important thing is to take care; him thing Big Shiny can burn you!!  Keep your cloths on but keep ‘em loose!! Stick a hat on!! No, on your head. Drink water!! Stay indoors if you can!! Close the curtains!! Okay? You get all that? And the warning to smear yourself with sun-block, a form of cooking oil, was repeated so often and so shrilly, I had to check that  Dave Cummerbund and his gang hadn’t slipped through some of that emergency legislation stuff making the rubbing on of said blocker grease mandatory.

Is the population now so infantilized that they need all these media warnings when it’s hot or cold or wet and/or windy? Or is it the case that too many mad people get to the top of too many pointless and unnecessary ‘organisations’? The latter would be better but still so sad.

If it is the latter it’s just another example, should one be needed, that the bottom’s full of wonderful people; only cream and ass-holes rise.

I’m guessing that in the next couple of days a person of the green persuasion will pop up and blame the seasonably warm weather on Australia dumping that ol’ carbon tax. Which reminds me; where’s my bestest ever pal Crazy Davey lately? Has he been quiet or wot? Come on Crazy!! Help us out here. Say something and sow the seeds for some posts! We need some light relief during these warm, doom laden days.

Quote;  Johan Goldberg.

“One upside of the heat. Kind of cool to see a cat pant.”


Caratacus said...

Apparently, believe this or not, it seems that the incidence of Rickets (vit.D deficiency) in the young of our rain-sodden isle has shot up to alarming levels of late, and this is due in no small part to the penchant of modern mothers to smear their offspring with factor 50 axle-grease the better to protect them from the ravaging ultry-violet wotsits.

I am reminded of a story where some Metropolitan Police officers had to attend a course on the subject of 'Diversity'. As is sadly the case, they were subjected to 'role play' as part of their training. A large and unsympathetic sergeant addressed a probationary constable: "Right - I have just dis-hembarked from the hairoplane, I am han asylum seeker, and I have got Rickets. Over to you ..." The constable pondered a moment or two, then said, "Alright - where did you get them Rickets ... they're not your Rickets are they? You're coming wiv me, my lad"

Mac said...

I do remember reading about the rise in instances of rickets but missed the bit about axle-grease being a contributing factor {50?}.
As for your story; love it! And, may I say, you have the accents off to a tee! ‘Diversity’ also reminded me of this old tale;
A policeman spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a Ford and radios for backup.
"What's the present situation?"
"A big fat black bloke's dancing on a car roof."
The operator quickly replies, "You can't say that over the radio!! Please use the politically correct terminology."
"OK. Zulu... Tango.... Sierra."