And Then I Loose The Will….

While tootling in the car a few days ago, I noticed a flashing blue light coming up behind so thought it prudent to pull over. It proved to be no big deal; the officer just warned me not to tootle in a moving car but better to wait ‘till I got to the privacy of home and, while out and about in public, to just concentrate on driving. No points lost, just funny looks.

As I continued on my way, all thoughts of a satisfying tootle put on hold, my thoughts turned, as they do, to death. “I’ll write a Will is what I’ll do. When I get home. Not while I’m driving as the bloke with the blue light’s still tailing me.”

And so it was I did the business with one of those Will Kits that go for buttons in the newsagents.

The finished article, following the vague instructions provided, made no sense whatsoever to me. That’s me wot had writ it. Hence, I guess, the buttons price tag.

And so it was that I wrote a draft Will, in English, found a reasonably priced solicitor and asked him to write the sucker up in Will-speak.

A week later I was in receipt of the solicitors draft. I read it as you would, just seeing what I knew was there. At the end I drew a sharp intake of breath  and paused for thought. ‘Why the big breath?’. Then I started looking in proper way.

Now I realise this guy was way cheaper than many others but what do you save by not printing those little dot thingies and the dots with a tail? Yup, you got it. Not one hint anywhere in a fist-full of A4 pages of any punctuation. Nothing. Hang on a comma pickin’ minute! Is this the correct legalese method? Or Japanese method?

Then, with further, closer looking, rather than just reading, I spent much time correcting the spelling of this legal mastermind.  How sad is that then? A solicitor? Our finest and brightest? Or was the writing jobby just handed off to the tea lady? The Parateabagget?

By the way, if you are contemplating preparing a Will, using a Will kit or seeking the assistance of a legal eagle, don’t waste time searching or enquiring for these ideas as you’ll discover, as I did, that, “Keep it all in a box ‘till I return” or, “Take it all with me” are, sadly, not available options.

You may also contemplate asking the guy or guyess to spell something simple {as time goes by….} as a little test before awarding them the Will to write as you may well find you loose the will to continue.

Quote;  Elbert Hubbard.

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”