26 Apr 2014

And Then I Prepare….

….to start some moderately major work around the house. This will entail quite considerable disruption and require the shutting down of lots of stuff at different times while I do battle with bits of wet pipe, for to get the wet side inside, electrickery transporting wires, various glazed, light pass-through enabling units, several dual-handled ingress and egress portals, a ceiling to magic down and up and some floors to magic up and down. These last two tasks will require crackerjack coordination and me firing on all cylinders so as to replace the ceiling in an up location and the floors far lower down. Ending up with them vicky-verky’s not really an option.

As with the shower and toilet project and in the ridiculously unlikely event I should run into difficulties, resulting in a waterless or elecktricyless or  windowless or door-less or ceiling-less or floorless situation – or delete ‘or’ and insert ‘and’, and it was decided that my little nest of vipers should shoot off to parts far, far, far away to visit with family and friends while I go nuts alone.

I tried to get a booking for her on one of those Malaysian Airways magical mystery flights but, upon phoning, found myself in a queue. I was, however, helpfully informed I was presently, “…husband number twenty-two thousand two hundred and twenty-two in the queue….”  What?  Oh, come on!! That was a joke - a poor taste joke right enough, but a joke none-the-less.

Anyhoo, as I’ll be busy fighting inanimate objects, fending for myself and regularly feeding myself, may I suggest to anyone out there who dabbles in a little light day trading, that McDonalds and Burger King should be at the top of your ‘buy’ list right now. {I’ll obviously give you the heads-up when to sell.} Pizza parlours? Not too keen on pizza. I’m sure they’re no more healthy than burgers, but they do attempt to make ‘em appear so, so I tend to avoid ‘em. Just in case.

As a by-the-by, I filled the car up today. This was a mistake as the smell’s terrible and everything’s wet. On reflection, I should’ve called it quits when the tank was full. Anyhoo, I haven’t used this gas station for about six months or more and remember it fondly as the place I got my first e-cigarette – one of they throw away jobbies. Imagine my surprise today to see racks of blister-pack tank chaps with rack after rack of varying sized bottles of liquid below. Now I assume any retail outlet won’t stock stuff just to fill an irritatingly empty gap so I enquired of the cash register operating fellow if they sold many. The reply was a tad surprising. It seems they can barely keep up with demand. How about that then?

Quote;  Bill Maher.

“New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open the bag, there’s no stopping us until we’re licking stray bits of powdered cheese off the carpet. So stop trying to give us nutritional information based on a fraction of the package. It assumes a talent for two things that we’re really not capable of: restraint and math.”

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