6 Feb 2014

And Then They Gather….

I note with interest, a clue as to how little of any consequence I have to get me interested at present, that Dave is taking over as Commander-in-Chief of Floods, Bad Weather and Wondering What To Do Next.

So, you’re flooded out and thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse eh? You poor people now face problems on a whole new level.

Can’t you just see them all down in the COBRA bunker? {Will they kick-off with a rousing chorus of ‘Rule Britannia’?} All dressed in Boy Scout… What? Too grown-up? All dressed in Cub uniforms, fitfully fiddling with their woggles, standing round that big map table, moving buckets of water from here to there, a pump to there, taken from here. Oh, the hours of fun the boys an’ girls will have. All famously washed down with lashings and lashings of ginger beer!
”As our position in Summerset is now, like, totally out of control, with another months worth of rain predicted to fall tonight and reports from the front line telling us that  the  Westonzoyland pumping station isn’t actually a pumping station, it being just a museum an’ all, we should revert to the original plan unt – he, he – sorry; couldn’t resist that - and proceed with the complete saturation of the soggy south.”
”Excuse me Dave – can I call you Dave?”
”Oh, loosen up!! It’s only a game, right?”
”Just this once then. But I want the last cake.”
”So, Dave, i
f things don’t pan out and you get found out, who you gonna blame ol’ buddy?”
”Me? What’ve I done wrong? Why me?”
”Not you. EU.”
”Him? You talking to him then?”
”Oh for….. Not you. Or him. That Europe thingy. We’ll blame them and their wetlands initiative.”
”Are the people out there so stupid they’ll fall for that? Like we did? Right. You’re right; that’ll work. And the water vole vote will be in the bag to boot. Heh, ‘to boot’. Gedd-it?”
”That’s just so funny….. any ginger beer left?”

The imagery this conjures up surely suggests possibilities for another of those Hitler in the bunker YouTube jobbies? Or is it out there already?

And where oh where, pray, is Crazy Davey? Why hasn’t he been all over the media maintaining the floods have been caused by the over abundance of that pesky Co2 stuff resulting in it condensing out as rain and how it could’ve all been averted if only we’d been quicker building thousands more windmills. Come on Crazy! Entertain us in this time of wetness. Or are you playing with the other COBRA bunker boys? If they are, indeed, letting you play with them, have a nice time, don’t run around too much and get over-excited, don’t drink too much fizzy stuff; you know how it makes your face screw up, and don’t be late home for your supper.

Quote;  Dr Seuss.

“The storm starts, when the drops start dropping.
When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping.”

No comments: