13 Jan 2014

And Then, Appy To Meet You….

Immediately after posting the post I posted yesterday a brilliant idea popped into my head. You know what that idea was? Of course you don’t. If, however, you do know what my idea was, you have a very exceptional gift which you should keep quiet about or else the powers that be will hunt you down like a dog, drag you away, stuff you in a box and use you as a weapon. {This is getting so silly so soon.}

Remember the Christmas post with that seasonally sentimental stuff about so many friends down the left-hand side that I’ll never meet? Remember yesterdays post regarding my childish ringtone? If you do indeed remember that, or the other, or both, you quite possibly have a sadder life than I. But there is an up-side.

How about this then. After yesterdays post you all know what my ringtone sounds like, right? So while you’re out and about and you happen to hear that sound and trace it to an old guy frantically jabbing at a bit o’ plastic in his hand, feel free to call out, “Yo!! Foggy!! How ya doin’?” For there’s a good chance it’ll be me and possibly I.

Say what now? Maybe other folk have the same ringtone? Good point and as sad as this may be true this is where a cleaver young App writing buck comes in. The App the buck needs to write could be called Ringtone Recognition. Or how about RingRec?

Man, where’s this clown heading with this rubbish? You’re probably wondering. All I can say is hang in there and be prepared to be totally, like, amazed. Ready? here we go then.

I’m out and about, right? I have my phone on and my RingRec App running, right? RingRec hears a ringtone, searches a database of registered tones and gives me a list of names associated with that tone! All I have to do now is shout out loud the names on the list  ‘till someone says, “Yes?” and – BINGO – we’ve made contact!! I mean is that, like, totally awesome or wot?

RingRec version 4.42583B will have the ability, at the press of a button, not necessarily the ‘OFF’ button, to activate all ringtones in range and return a names list accordingly! Then, two weeks after the release of RingRec 4.42583B just sell the sucker to some social media giant face lookin’ book outfit for all the money there ever was. Job done!!

No? Too many  folk with the same ringtone? Only kids would bother to register their ringtones with RingRec? You’re right and this is where the idea gets very cunning. As you sell the idea to some social media giant, behind the scenes you also sell it to the government. Whoa! How do you sell it to HMG?

ID cards were pretty much a non-starter but ringtones?Everyone likes a ringtone so nobody will bat an eye when, from way out on left field, the government announces, “In a bid to aid modern communications and enhance social media opportunities for ordinary hard working families, everyone will be required to register for an individual, unique ringtone that will be theirs and theirs alone for as long as they may live. Also, from that date forth, all births will not only get a birth certificate but also their unique lifetime ringtone.” The vast majority of folk will be, like, totally blown away with this and declare it the most coolest idea ever!!  Bang!! Got y’all!!!

By this time the App man will be so rich most everything, including HMG, will probably belong to him anyway and so who’s watching who, how and why will be of little to no concern to him.

Next? let’s go global. Never mind the tracking potential, think of the employment opportunities involved with ringtone composition and database programing and continual updating. Not to mention the guards and teachers needed for the re-education camps for those who don’t presently have a phone and can’t see the need for one. The mind truly boggles. As yours probably is, for other reasons, if you read this far…… Thanks, I’ll be fine. I just need a little lie down.

Quote;  Stanley Victor Paskavich

“Look at the world and think about a catastrophic disaster where the cell phone towers went dead. How would you ever be able to 'TEXT’ your next door neighbor to see if they were okay?”

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