26 Oct 2013

And Then Two Bad Jokes….

To start on a serious note, or the third joke really, you see in the news today how Mr Camoron is on the cusp of winning another resounding victory for the UK regarding too much EU red tape and the need to cut said tape for UK businesses? {He could start by making ‘business’ easier to spell; what’s wrong with ‘biznus’ then?}

All Hail to our glorious leader!! Oh, hang on. It’s not actually a victory then. Seems young David still hasn’t figured out how stuff, including facts, get out onto the Web of Wonder so quickly, eh? Go over to EUReferendum for the true story and ask yourself how a Blogger can find and ‘report’ the facts but professional journalists can’t. Or can’t be bothered. Or can’t – as in mustn’t.

As for Dave and his referendum, “….but first I’m going to get all sorts of unspecified powers back so we won’t need one anyway.” get back over to EUReferendum and try to spot a possible problem he, we, will have…..

When that nice Mr Barroso’s asked if young Dave’s going to get any powers back, his facial expression seems to suggest some sort of answer. If you’re not too sure of that answer, his henchman’s, “No” works for me. How’s it work for you Mr David? I’m sure that, even as I type, the No 10 spin-meisters will be working overtime on turning that ‘no’ into an emphatic ‘yes’.

Feeling a tad more confident in our leaders truthfulness and abilities? Sure you are, so, in an attempt to generate a smile, here are a couple of very old jokes. Old jokes? Here? No surprises there then.

A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.
'£85 for an extraction, sir' the dentist replied.
'£85!!! Huv ye no got anythin' cheaper?'
'That's the normal charge,' said the dentist .
'Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?'
'That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off.
'Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without an anaesthetic?'
'I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop to £40'.
'How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?'
It'll be good for the students', mulled the dentist, 'and it's going to be very traumatic, but I'll just charge you £5.'
'Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal,' said the Scotsman. 'Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife for next Tuesday then?'

The one below is here in case you thought the one above was being too cruel to our Northern friends.

A Scotsman, walking through a field, sees a man drinking  water from a  pool with his hand.
The Scotsman shouts, 'Awa ye feel hoor that pool’s full o’ coow's sharn!'
The man shouts back, 'I'm English, speak English, I don't understand what you’re saying.'
The Scotsman reflects on this and shouts back,
'Use both hands; you'll get more in!'

There you go; one all – it’s a draw - we’re even. Y’all have a lovely time in the approaching ‘super storm’.

As it could be a November storm lets spare a moment to remember the crew of the Great Laker, ‘Edmund Fitzgerald’.

Quote;  Norman Wisdom.

“I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night.”

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