20 Aug 2013

And Then A Sticky Situation....

Further to the ‘I Wish’ post relating to the protests down Balcombe way, I noted someone also super-glued themselves to some office doors up the smoke which has prompted another ‘I Wish’ post.

“’Scuse me Boss, a couple of protesters of some sort are stuck on the front glass door.” Says the secretary somberly.
“By their tongues I’m presuming? Damn those window lickers.” Said the Boss, light-heartedly.
“No, sorry to disappoint. Stuck-up by their arms. With super glue. Shall I call the police?”
“Lordy-lord, no. They’ll just clutter up the sidewalk reviewing their paperwork. Anyhoo, if we call them they’ll tow those BBC TV types along and we’ll end up with a frack-fest out front.”
“Ain’t that the truth. So what shall we do then?” Said the secretary.
“Just leave ‘em stuck there. Can’t do any damage can they? Them being glued in place an’ all. Just give ‘em a glass of water occasionally. But please tell Security to starve ‘em of oxygen, okay?” Instructed the Boss.
”Whoa!! That seems a tad harsh Boss; and it could well be illegal.” The secretary said, worriedly chewing the non-pointy tip of her H2 pencil.
“When did giving water to people become illegal? I didn’t mention the word ‘board’ at all.”
“No, the oxygen bit was my worry. The BBC would love that! A couple of dead greenfly hangin’ on our doors come AM of the o’clock tomorrow morning!” Suggested the secretary, somewhat scarily.
“I see what you mean. Let me explain a little better. Ask Security to put up some screens and starve them of the oxygen of publicity.”
“Ah, ha!! Right then. Cool. Oh, and tonight when we all go home?”
“Take some petty cash and ask someone from reception to pop down to a pet shop to buy a couple of those hamster drip lookin’ water bottles and glue ‘em on the glass just above their heads. Better get catering to leave ‘em a bowl of berries and beans as well. And drag a rubber mat under ‘em.”
“I can do that, that I can.”
“Good. Hay, get maintenance to call me please.”

Time passes then the Bosses phone rings as only a Bosses phone can ring.

”Yup? Boss here.”
”Yo Boss. Maintenance here. You be needing something?”
“That I do. You know the front doors? Stupid question. Of course you do. Today, please order a new set for delivery cock crow tomorrow; it’s only glass, right? Then tomorrow I’d like your boys to remove the old doors, complete with affixed greenfly, install the new doors then load the old doors, complete with environmental attachments, in your truck and go find an isolated area of countryside, preferably in the shadow of some windmills, and off-load the doors and the environmental attachments so the attachments can spend some quality time with dead birds and without a phone signal.”

Below is part of an article found here. Everyone at their desks as the protesters forgot the back door.... Oh dear.

Today’s protests were not just against fracking and fossil fuels, they championed renewable energy. But when I spoke to the protesters, it was clear they had little understanding of current UK energy policy or the role different energy sources play in the mix.....
........When I asked Ms Goldman if she knew how much coal the UK uses, she replied: “I’m hopeless on facts.”........
........No Dash for Gas’ claim that the action had prevented the company’s staff getting to work, a Bell Pottinger spokesman said: “Staff are at their desks.”
Fortunately for Bell Pottinger employees – and for the other firms operating from the eight-storey office block – protesters forgot to glue themselves to the back door.

Quote; Carrie Jones.

“You know, life fractures us all into little pieces. It harms us, but it's how we glue those fractures back together that make us stronger.”

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