18 Jul 2013

And Then The Cable Guy....

Further to a comment by Ripper a phew, yes, isn’t it warm, posts ago regarding the license fee for TV, I set off on the first tentative steps along this road to free TV.

Re ‘phew!’ A level 3 heat alert? What’s that all about? I say again, we need to be told when it’s warm? Where are we going with all this hand-holding?

Anyphew, this first step? Sorry, it’s tech speak, let’s get an HDMI cable to hook up the, still functioning, laptop to TV.

Where better to start than a jolly big tech store. Okay, that’s where I started but ended this evening on that little armchair shop, Amazon.

A couple of shops after the first shop did have a cable of a length at a very reasonably eye watering £50!! And they say the high street’s dying? With bargains like that, how can this be?

Right, first shop;
“Good mor...”
“Gosh. It’s hot isn’t it?”
“Yes it is. I’m loo... “
“The BBC told me this morning to be careful today.”
”Of what?”
“What? Oh, the hot. Be careful ‘couse it’s going to be hot.”
“Right. I’m guessing you’ll be safe in here.”
“I hope so. I’m not long married y’know and there’s nobody here to help me if it gets hotter like they say it may. I’ve got sun-block on though.”
“I do believe those big concrete walls your emporium’s built of will also act as quite a reasonable sun-block. Tell you what, I’ll pop back next week to check you out.”
“That’d be good.”
“Okay, do you have an HDMI cable, male by male five meters long?”
“Let me look. HDMI you say?”
“That I did.”
“Yes, here we are. Male and male, three meters long. Just pay at the check-out. G’day.”
“Hold tight my little heat affected sales person and let me check that out with my on-board calculator.... No, that won’t do.”
“No? Why not? It’s an HDMI cable and that’s what you wanted, right?”
“That it is. The small problem I face is wanting and asking for a five meter long chappy and you’re offering me a three meter long fellow. By the simple process of taking the small number from the big guy we end up finding we’re two meters short of a connection. As, indeed, are yo.... Never mind”
“Sorry, that’s all we’ve got. Oh, wait a minute!! I’ve got a two meter one here.”
“I can see where you’re going with this. Two plus three equals five with a two way female connector between them, right?”
“Errrrr..... say again, over.”
“Thanks but I’ll try somewhere else. By the way, don’t stand under that air blower. It was just on the news as I left home; Big Shiny’s getting so hot he’s started sending invisible burny rays along with any moving cool air. Have a mediocre day.”

Quote; Erma Bombeck.

“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.”

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