22 Apr 2013

And Then A Wash….

I finally succumbed to her indoors request** and went and got a new cloths washing machine.  Personally I can see no advantages what-so-ever over the old washing method.  In fact possibly more to loose than any gain.  Let me elaborate a little bit with what almost looks like a risk assessment looking load of nonsense.

What’s always worked;
HI {HI; that’s ‘Her Indoors’ and not, ‘Hi, how ya doin’?’} collects dirty laundry.
Advantage – a grasp of basic home navigation.
Me – they’re right where I dropped ‘em.

HI lifts laundry into basket.
Advantage – arm and back exercise.
Me – advice on correct lifting method.  Bend your knees. No, that’ll hurt. Bend ‘em forwards.

HI walks with laundry basket balanced on head the 300 Meters to the stream.
Advantage – leg exercise. Improve deportment. Fresh air.
Me – advise not to accept sweets, or the promise of puppies, from strangers.

HI beats laundry in the stream with two medium sized stones.
Advantage – arm, back exercise. Improve coordination. In the event of slipping; swimming.
Me – advise to choose smooth stones so as not to damage clothes. Mind your thumbs. Backstroke.

HI returns with washed washing.
Advantage – reverse of above with a wet, so heavier, load thus a tad more strenuous exercise. Deportment.
Me – advise to leave dead water voles behind.  They’ll just add to weight and, I’m sure, don’t taste too good anyway.

And the big bonus is being able to commune with nature.
Me – advise to wear camouflage so as not to attract foxes.

Now?  It’s a machine so I’m guessing pressing the START button will be my job!
HI – relax.
Me – “No, don’t move. I’ll get it. Work, work, work.” {Muttered under breath.}

PLEASE NOTE; The above is just a bit o’ fun, a joke, humour. Okay? A harmless bit o’ fun with absolutely no sexist overtones intended. Of course she knows how to press a START button……

Quote;  Jerry Seinfeld.

“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.  Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”

No comments: