10 Jul 2012

And Then Some Unreliable Stuff….

I see some MP has hit on a money saver by stating that pensioners should be means tested rather than just automatically being 'given' a buss pass or receive free medical prescriptions or help with keeping warm in winter and, this year, summer.

What the interviewer failed to ask this guy was how and by whom this means testing will be done.

Let's give it a nano seconds thought ourselves.

How many pensioners in the country and ex-patting? I'm guessing a whole whizz of uzz. I'm assuming The Department of Works and Pensions do pension stuff? The clue being in the title. Assuming I'm right, can the Works and Pensions Department handle the extra workload? Probably. Will they agree to do it? Probably not.

What to do. Got it!! A new department with a whole new bungle of bureaucrats complete with Minister for, Secretary to, Under Secretary for etc. etc. Of course where ever they are headquartered, they won't be able to '…..work in these conditions.' and will quickly move themselves into the top ten floors of The Shard.

Now, given how our bureaucracies work, you care to guess the total number of bureaucrats it's going to take to police this cunning money saving project? Will we get one bureaucrat each? And what do you estimate the net savings could be? Cost of one buss pass? No? Way too high an estimate?

What a balloon. No, hang on there just a cotton pickin' minute!! Could his cunning plan be a sneaky way to drastically reduce the unemployed numbers by drastically increasing our cost efficient bureaucracies? Cool.

Enough – let's laugh. The other day I recalled a Web site, The Thebrainstrust, now, after searching, apparently gone. As part of this site was an area known as Unreliable Facts. With further searching I found a few of these facts still floating about out there. Here below they be collected for your enjoyment. And if you know of more, let me know. Thanks.

Gold for Orkney
In 1964 the Orkneys won their only Olympic medal - a gold for the table tennis team. Strangely, with 100% of all medals won being gold, this makes the Orkneys the greatest Olympic nation of all time.

Greatest Living Englishman
The current greatest living Englishman is a German named Fritz Jebsen. An Englishman has not held the title since 1927. However, Canadian-born Jaz Zimmerman (who claimed English citizenship in 1996) reached the quarter final in 1998, losing to a Frenchman.

Dwarf Naming Conventions
All the Dwarves in Tolkien's "The Hobbit", with the exception of Oin and Gloin are named after European cheeses.

Rock Band Names
Pink Floyd got their name from the same Dulux paint catalogue as Deep Purple and Jethro Tull. Tull being an off-yellow colour seldom used today.

Paul the Apostle
Chapter 56 verses 87–201 of The Corinthian Letters, bear an uncanny resemblance to the instructions for assembling an Ikea pine double wardrobe.

Hardy and Doyle
The original title of Thomas Hardy's novel 'Tess of the D'Ubervilles' was 'Tess of the Baskervilles'. It was changed after Arthur Conan Doyle challenged Hardy to a boxing match in which the victor could use the name 'Baskerville'. Although Hardy won the pugilistic contest, he took pity on the struggling Doyle and allowed him to use the name, stating that he'd "thought of a better one".

Prof Mark Potts
Ground breaking scientist Prof Mark Potts of the UEA has come up with his latest evolutionary theory. Prof Potts explains, 'The Duck Billed Platypus is indeed a duck that got really cold and grew a fur coat', When asked what happened to its wings Potts replied 'They didn't want to look as stupid as Penguins.'

Ferrets can be taught to dance, but only to songs by Kylie Minogue.

Quote; Gene Perret.

"Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese."

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