And Then Some Sound Advice….

As the drought continues to fall relentlessly out of a leaden sky that refuses to globally warm, there was more stunning advice given out on the BBC local radio this morning.

They helpfully pointed out that if the rain keeps falling, as the land is already saturated, the water, amazingly, won't soak away. Also, the rivers, that only a few weeks ago we were told would totally dry up this hot, dry summer, could burst their banks. These phenomenon could result in – you ready for this? – isolated flooding.

Even more amazing was the advice given out by an expert{?}. This went along the lines of keeping an eye out the window and if it looks like the water level is rising then try to stop it getting in the house. Honest, that's what he said.

It gets better.

He added that if the water does start coming in your house, move any valuables higher up so's they don't get wet. Honest, that's what he said. Oh, and if you do get flooded, be very careful of that ol' electrickery. Honest, that's what he said.

Hay!! You in charge!! We don't need this!! We aint that dumb, okay?

Oh, wait a minute. After this staggering public service announcement they had an interview with a floodee. He bitterly recounted how he'd been flooded the year before last, again last year, last week and, "….it looks like I'll be flooded again this weekend and the government does nothing to help."

So how does that work in his world? He just sit there and watch the water reach his ankles, then his knees, then his chest, year in - week out, just waiting for the shout through the door, the shout that would terrify most of….. a few of us, "I'm from the government and I've come to help."

Seems we really are dumb enough to need these goony announcements then. Hope, there is none.

Yes, of course I feel very, very sorry for the poor folk who get flooded out – those who did what they could in exceptionally difficult circumstances. But the goofy radio announcements?

Quote; William Congreve.

“A branch of one of your antediluvian families; fellows that the flood could not wash away.”