Firstly, whoever's in charge of global warming, please note, I'm ready. Could you turn it on as soon as possible? It's July for crying out loud! These bones, old as they may be, shouldn't need a bit o' heating on this time of year. And if someone from the government comes round and cheerily tells me to just put on another woolly pulley I'll cheerily punch his lights out.
Right, once again, this is how the rest of this should work. Click on the music and let it play while you read the extract further down.
The music? Hope you like it. If you like that sort of stuff, you will. If you don't, you wont. No click – you'll never know. A foot tapper with a very simple message. Yo!! Young bucks in power!! Get that? A simple message.
While you listen to that, bob below and enjoy the little bit from the Devils Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. If that bit whets your appetite, pop along to the Guttenberg Project for the free full download in various formats.
It's out of copyright, I think, so me putting a snippet on here should be alright. I think. However, if, for any reason, I find myself in trouble, you're all going down with me, okay? Okay then.
Right, you all clear on the instructions? What? Oh, sorry – I didn't know politicians popped by here. Once more then; click on the music then move down and read. Last time; music – click. Words – read.
APRIL FOOL, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
If I were a jolly archbishop,
On Fridays I'd eat all the fish up-
Salmon and flounders and smelts;
On other days everything else.
Jodo Rem
ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete; so is that kind of government.) Fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts -- guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.
ARREST, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.
God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
{The Unauthorized Version}
Quote; Jeri Ryan.
"I started by looking everything up in a Star Trek dictionary so I knew what I was talking about, but you can't do that because they talk in circles, and half of it doesn't make sense, so you'll just end up driving yourself more insane."
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