13 Jul 2012

And Then A Quick Search Solved It….

I'm sure we're all aware of the hyper ventilating in certain quarters regarding the queues at passport 'control' at major UK airports? Queuing for anything from an hour to three hours? We are treated to endless excuses for these queues and endless reasons this won't happen at Olympic games time, basically tomorrow. Same with security, apparently, but that's another story.

I'm sure those in charge are tearing their hair out trying to figure out what could possibly be causing these tremendous queuing times.

Well, as we've said before, these people just don't listen. I caught a bit on the steam radio, did a Google, then a quick search and I had the answer. No expensive investigation, no expensive investigating committee, no panel of MP's to ponder and pontificate – just a sofa sitting search.

What could it be? What it be is it's all down to this guy, Arion Flagellus, and you may well have met him. In your garden. He's a giant slug. You say, 'So?' So I say, and this is the kicker, he's Spanish. The UK's being slimed by giant Spanish slugs.

A little logic says that if Arion Flagellus is Spanish, he comes from Spain, right? If he's from Spain he has to pass through passport control when he arrives in the UK, right?

Ever been in a queue behind a slug? Man, they're slow. You ever been in your garden and just seen one? These suckers travel in herds! And where d'you think the word 'sluggish' comes from then? Slugs of course. And sluggish means?

Indisposed to action or exertion; lacking in energy; lazy; indolent: a sluggish disposition. Moving slowly, or having little motion.

So there you have it. Herds of giant Spanish slugs are gumming up the works. Nothing we can do to stop them as they're EU giant slugs. What we could do is instate a couple of 'Slugs Only' gates at passport control I guess. One can only imagine all the hooks, crooks and comic singers who would assume 'Slugs Only' referred to them…… Google reveals all yet again.

Quote; Ed Belfour.

"One minute you're a slug and the next minute you're a hero, so you don't know what to think."

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