20 Jul 2012

And Then An Electric Announcement….

The good Lord Tebbit had a line in his last essay which caught my eye, entered my brain then took the first exit only to return as we voyaged passed a whirling wind farm today. Spookily, it was a whirly wind farm whirling without the aid of any wind as there was not a breath of the stuff blowing. Feeding back? Wind giveth, so shall calm days taketh away?

Right, it seems the government are going to hit the credit card for another bunch o' billions to electrify lots of rail routs. This latest spend-fest will, I believe, kick off in a couple of years and take a few more years to complete.

I believe the idea is to cut ten minutes off a train journey here, five minutes there and to encourage motorists to use the train and leave their cars at home.

I just can't see this working, can you? They'll need to do something else to entice motorists on to the trains. I'll stick to my car unless they do something really gooney like cutting road speed limits. Wait a minute!! They're ahead of us!

Anyhoo, this is the thought, and I bet this thought hasn't popped up on our goonyments radar.

Can you picture the day, a beautiful day, some day in the future, with all the goonyment guys on the platform ready to see the first electric train off on it's maiden trip?

With all the patronizing speeches spoken, photo ops grabbed, three cheers cheered, all relevant backs slapped, ribbons cut and the waving off commenced…… nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. What could possibly have gone wrong now?

Sadly, owing to years of goonyments green energy policies and, it being a beautiful windless day, there just aint even enough electrickery to heat a kettle. As our leaders look on in disbelief, the public look on muttering, "No surprises there then."

What to do? Go by road? Sadly, owing to years of goonyments green energy policies and, it being a beautiful windless day, there aint no electrickery so the highways are plugged solid with juiceless electric cars.

Just a bit of fun. I'm sure all this power stuff has been carefully factored in by the boys and girls of the Lower Sixth. Our governments aren't that stupid are they. Well, are they?

Quote; Tim Allen.

"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."

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