26 Jul 2010

And Then We Had Gas….

The door bell rang and having nothing better to do I decided to answer it. After repeatedly shouting ‘hello’ at the inside part of the door bell kit, the ding-dong bit, and getting no response, I made the grown-up decision to open the door.

The door bell ringing person announced he had come to check out the old boiler.

“Really? I think there must be some mistake,” I replied, “I mean she’s not perfect, what woman is eh? But she’s not for sale. Least, I don’t remember putting her up for sale. Anyway, I’m sure that’d be illegal. Unless……… you’ve found a loophole in the law? Have you?”
“WHAT? No, no. I’ve got one of those anyway – don’t want another. No, your gas central heating boiler. Annual inspection.”
“Riiight!! I remember! You were here last year weren't you?”
“Right then.”
”Any chance you can show me where the boiler is then?”
“Right then. Well the boiler, the gas one, ha ha, is hidden behind that cupboard door over there. No, the big one. Actually, it’s not hidden now is it, as I’ve just told you where it is. I mean, if I’d really wanted it to be properly hidden I’dve just told you to find it yourself when you asked where it was, for a bit of fun, right? So it’s not rel…”
“Please, can I just get started? I’ve got a lot of boiler inspecting to do today.”
“Of course, of course. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble on like that. Please just start doing that inspecting thing what you’re here to be doing to my old boiler my good gas boiler inspecting person. Can I watch?”
“I’ll be in there then. I have some crayoning I can be getting on with. Just call if you need any help.”
“Yea, right.”
”I’ll let you get going with your inspectioning stuff then.”
”Oh, yes please.”
”Right then. I’ll…… I’ll just…..”

He must’ve enjoyed our merry banter ‘couse, later, when I took a shower I discovered, too late, that before leaving, the inspecting person had adjusted the hot water setting to ‘Suns Core Plus 100.’ I guess he just wanted to have the last laugh.

On the bright side, I don’t have to worry about back scrubbing any more. No back left to scrub, just cooked meat. Must remember to say nothing when an inspecting person visits next year. Let ‘em in, nod towards the boiler hiding place, let ‘em out. That’s all. Nothing else. And to check the temperature setting after they have been and gone, before getting in the shower. But that’s only common sense. {Note to self; Still need to get some of that.}

Quote; Mary Buckley.

“Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.”


Caratacus said...

When dealing with representatives of the old nationalised industries I say something like, "You know you get at least one stupid customer every day..." (I then pause, they invariably smile and nod - I am waiting for the 'connect' which shows they are now paying attention to me as a person rather than a number or a non-person), then go on to say, "well it's me today, so at least you're getting me out of the way early". T + stickies follow and all is well with the world.

Mac said...

Interesting. Along those lines I do occasionally use a similar tactic when shopping. Something along the lines of, “Excuse me. This is probably a stupid question, but......”
{The seeds of a future post may have been sown. Thank you.}