22 Jul 2010

And Then There Was Electricity….

For those who know about that ol’ one and two and three stuff, Y’know, school stuff, you may like the following little tale from, yup, your right again, way back.

This tale was told to me by a Radio Operator I worked with somewhere in the North Sea.

On leaving school he joined the RAF and after basic training selected his craft and started schooling to qualify as a Radio Officer. Along with the other trainees, on their first day of school, after introductions, the Training Officer was pacing back and forth in front of the class and posed the rhetorical question, “What is electricity?”
To his great surprise, a little herbert towards the back of the class put his had up.
”Well?” enquired the surprised Training Officer.
”Electricity’s like, well, it’s to do with the poles. No, no, it’s when some magnetism sort of, er…. No, wait!! It’s when…. er, it’s if some….. No, sorry, I’ve forgotten.” and the herbert stammered to a stop.
”Gentlemen,” boomed the Training Officer, “To the best of my knowledge there are only two people who know what electricity is. There’s God, and he won’t tell us, and there’s you, and you’ve bloody forgotten!”

This Radio Officer was also very proud of the fact that he had once won a prize for the Times crossword competition. Rightly so I would say. His favourite crossword thingy was a five letter word with the clue; H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Answer next post. But I’m sure you’ll get it. It’s quite famous I believe. In crossword land anyway.

But I shall forever remember him for these words as I strolled into the Radio Room one day while he was taking a telephone message. Turning to me he asked, in a wonderfully deep, rumbling, mock thespian voice, “Ah, dear boy. Do you perchance have a pen secreted about the voluminous folds of your outer garments?”

No, I didn’t. Have a pen. Secreted anywhere. At all.

Quote; W. J. Bryan.

“Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed.”

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