13 Jun 2010

And Then There Were CVs….

There were a couple of interesting/scary posts the other day on the subject of CVs. One by Mr. Redwood, here, and a follow-up by Mr. Not a Sheep from one of his previous posts, linked through here.

Could it be down to computers taking the place of education? Why fill your Swede with things when you can just Google it? Writing, using your wot? Hand? You gotta be kidding, right? A key board and a word processor is all you need for word containing stuff – templates cover it all, a quick grammar checking will sort out punctuation and how the sounding of it will be and a spill chequer four the…… Oh.

BTW, sadly, the future could be here. In fact this is now I guess. R U happy with that?

Along similar lines, the posts reminded me of these one liners from some employee evaluations.

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not so much a has-been, but more a definite won't be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems it’s only to change feet.
6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
13. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
15. He's been working with glue too much.
16. He would argue with a signpost.
17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
19. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
20. Has a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
21. A prime candidate for natural DE-selection.
22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
24. He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
26. If you gave him a penny for this thoughts, you'd get change.
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
28. It's hard to believe he beat 1,000,000 other sperm.
29. One neuron short of a synapse.
30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
31. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
32. The wheel’s turning, but the hamster’s dead.

Quote; David Letterman.

"Sometimes, when you look in his eyes, you get the feeling that someone else is driving."

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