4 May 2010

And Then He Was Down On The Deck….

Well, I woke up this morning to find Mr. Tops.... no, lets start again.

Woke up this morning - Ba ba da ba baoww

Mr. Topsy was dead on the groun’ - Ba ba da ba baoww

Don’t know when it happen ‘couse I didn’t. here. a. sounnnnddd.

Ooool’ Mr. Topsy jus’ done gone down, down, down on the groun’.

Man! Those pills be good.

Anyhoo, there he was, down. But not out. A pleasant morning was spent cleaning up shed loads of compost, repairing Mr. Topsy and giving him and the tomato a good talking to. They finally, I think, realise this is their very last chance. They stay up or they’re history. Hay, you two, don’t look at me like that! I mean it this time!! Then I got me some yet stronger hangy stuff fixed to the wall and up they went again.

What I’m thinking now is if this kit is parting company with these kind of fixings, with only a six inch tomato plant, what kind of fixing will be needed with a full blown, tomato plant laden with huge tomatoes, hanging down? Or, what looks more likely at the moment, hanging up?

Am I running the risk of coming down one sparkly summer morning, making coffee and heading for the garden and……..

“Now that’s really, really stranger. How come I’m in the garden without using a door? Now, didn’t there used to be a sort of wall there? Just there? Hay, fresh tomato juice!!”

Could it do that? Pull a wall down? Could it?

In preparation for this possible disaster, I am slowly working on ‘her in doors’. I would say that within a week, after using pointers picked up from watching our politicians, I will have weaselled, whined and lied the history of Mr. Topsy round to it having been her idea all along and, although I did point out the folly of it, I went along with her as she so much wanted one. You know, Just in case.....

Quote; Harry S. Truman.

“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”

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