16 May 2007

And Then I Went Shopping For Weapons.............

Went to the supermarket today. It's taken on a whole new meaning after reading the news the other day. And especially if eggs, cucumber and cream cakes are on the shopping list. If these illegal weapons are indeed in my carrier bag then, after the checkout, it's a frantic, heart racing dash across the car park, into the car and a tear home, with the 'Mission Impossible' theme drumming through my head, to get behind closed doors before I'm stopped by the police. {I'm also considering shopping in a ski mask.}

Remember these poor sods in the news were nabbed for having only one egg, only slices of cucumber or one cake. I quite often have twelve of one, a whole one of the other and four of the last, six if they're the really, really sickly ones. In the eyes of the police that must just about qualify for a life sentence if nicked.

Reading the sad, sad story in full round the net, you would think that if the police just hung about outside any supermarket on any Saturday they could get their figures all snuffed up on that one day what with all the eggs alone passing through the doors.

"Excuse me sir, under the powers given to me by Big Brother I have the right to stop and search you. So, let's be looking. Now then, 12 inch hunting knife, AK-47, semtex - Waaaiite a minute! { or, for all the traditionalists out there, 'ullo, 'ullo, 'ullo} What have we hear then? Ah, Ha!! Eggs and a cucumber!! You're nicked my son!!"

Where are we going?

Quote - The Guardian
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

No comments: