After observing a bunch of news broadcasts, it’s obvious that look-at-media items are a very popular way of padding-out their output so with this in mind, and a small problem that’s gradually becoming a big problem, I thought I’d put my own together and see if I can persuade the BBC to give it maximum air time.
I plan to talk at some length about the fight I’ve had over the past year staving off mental health problems resulting from house arrest, a recent tick-a-tack, not being able to see friends with only my little nest of vipers and a laptop for company. Yeah, I know but a bit o’ biographical bending seems to be allowed.
And now? I’m starting to fear for my mental health again as my tap-top is showing its age and looking like it’ll soon cease working. Wot can I do, Ill say, choking back tears. I can’t afford a new one, being a poor pensioner repeatedly ignored by evil tory governments and broadband gets more expensive by the month. As my tap-top has been such a lifeline, I feel the government should ensure all the elderly get a free tap-top and broadband so’s they may stay connected to the outside world and safeguard their sanity. Wipe eyes then close with a panting, sobbing close-up.
For the BBC it’d be a win-win as directly after giving a relic airtime, they could wheel out a professor of small pointy thingies who’d lay all my problems at my own door for not getting my ass down to the nearest jab shop as soon as I became eligible.
Hell, I also tick a few BBC boxes, old, a tick-a-tack a while back and in a multi racial marriage. The race in this instance is between me and my little nest of vipers to see who gets to the money first on pension day – a race in which I’ve always come a pretty poor second...
Two reasons for considering this; my tap-top is indeed showing age as certain keys are operating as they wish, when they wish. And I know which keys. Take ‘V’; sometimes I get ‘every’ next time I may get ‘eery’ and the next time, ‘evvvvery’. But the main reason for considering this? Me! Me! Me!
Okay, please note I’m NOT, in reality, considering this at all. However, I won’t fall over backwards in amazement to see such a clip sometime soon. If you’ve read this {for read, read red} and do indeed see something similar pop up on your screens, it won’t be me, okay? But... Hell, kids are being given tap-tops, right? And how many of those go straight on the Web for sale so’s mum can get the latest smartphone eh?
I see yet another Chancellor of the Exchequer has, like, totally ignored the tax plan I put together back in 2012. Honestly, why do I bother?
Quote; Alice Kahn.
"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three."
7 comments:
Maybe laptops need a vaccine to stop them dying prematurely. Something Bill Gates could turn his attention to perhaps?
Mac,
You may find that the tap a top keys are fine. Sometimes, after a Windo-zzz-e update the keyboard driver thingy in the update package doesn't quite support the tap-a-top. Go to the manufacturer's website and see if there are any update patches for that tap-a-top model or wind the driver back to a generic one.
My Logitech keyboard also starts doing this every time it needs new batteries.
Another problem I solved was with the sound driver on this PC tower. Its an HP and has Bang & Oluffson sound hardware, and an app with lots of bells and whistles runs on startup. The problem was the ALC (automatic level control) which cannot be switched off. If a piece of music starts quietly then suddenly gets louder, the ALC does not operate quickly enough and there's an audible drop in the volume, as if some bossy annoyed neighbour has come around, walked in and turned the volume down. I switched the app off in the sound properties and enabled the Windoze generic sound driver. Billy 10 was very reluctant to do this and gave me lots of scary warnings about the generic driver not working properly, but I showed it who's the boss and It does. I've lost all the gizmo's that I don't use anyway, like fake surround sound etc. but those things are no loss since audio from the PC is bluetoothed to my TV sound bar.
Now Foggy, we do hope you're going to join us soon.
James [on behalf of Scriblerus] :)
"And now? I’m starting to fear for my mental health again as my tap-top is showing its age and looking like it’ll soon cease working. Wot can I do, Ill say, choking back tears. I can’t afford a new one, being a poor pensioner repeatedly ignored by evil tory governments and broadband gets more expensive by the month."
Indeed.
A K Haart,
Stop Press!! A variant of covid has been found infecting a laptop and it's believed this double deadly variant has been released into the wild by some old fool trying to fix an iffy keyboard.
Ripper,
Been there - done that and later I gently removed the iffy key tops and cleaned below with cotton buds. Next-up was compressed air then a a tap on its bottom then a vac. It's livable with - just a tad annoying.
Mr Higham,
I have a user name and password so I'll go there and figure out wot I need to do to join you all.
Regards my Look-at-Media plan, I'm sure it'd make me an Inter-web sensation. For ten minutes or less...
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