And Then There Was Another Shop….

Same-same last post;

After sauntering round the store, change tack and proceed purposefully to the check-out knowing full well there is something not in the basket that should be in the basket, but, well, there you go.

Finally, after queuing for what seems like several lifetimes, and with the basket contents on the conveyor, on the bit where milk, flour and treacle have just been spilt, I shuffle slowly towards the Scanning and Till Opening, Closing Technician.

It’s my turn next and I’m trying not to notice the PIN number of the person in front of me. And why, oh why, when I’m so very close to the end game, does the person in front of me always have card problems? Wrong way in, upside down, twenty goes to get the right PIN. Start again with another card. Offering advice in our modern world is just greeted with black scowls, as it seems to be tantamount to an attempted mugging, so keep it zipped and study the two hundred types of chewing gum on display and wonder, why me? So close. It’s just not fair.

At last it’s my turn. Not to be so quick about it there you customer person! I’m informed that I need a score of seventy percent or above, from the following questions, or the till stays closed.

Do I have a Nectar card? Do I have a points card? Do I want a points card? Why not? Do I want to top up my mobile phone? Do I want any cash back? Do I have proof of age as I’m buying mature cheese? Am I using my own bags today? {A ‘No’ to this question is fast becoming unacceptable which just strengthens my resolve to always say, loudly, ‘No’.} Do I need help packing? Do I need a car park ticket stamping? Is it still raining?

Eventually it’s done. The Scanning and Till Opening, Closing Technician informs me that the bill is twelve pounds twenty-eight pence. I fumble in my pockets, mumbling, and then, “I have the two pounds twenty-eight pence; do you have the ten?”

The more elderly Scanning and Till Opening, Closing Technicians will, after a pause, chuckle.

The younger Scanning and Till Opening, Closing Technicians will nervously look around for their supervisor.

Quote; Ann Landers.

“Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line.”

And Then There Was A Trip To A Shop….

If that day-to-day sort of shopping bores you as much as wot It do me, try something different along the way; like this.

Occasionally, I will start inspecting the contents of a supermarket shelf, with a look of great concentration, very close to a supermarket Product Organizing and Shelf Shuffling Operative.

After a short spell of shelf inspecting, I turn to the Product Organizing and Shelf Shuffling Operative and, with a puzzled look ask, “Excuse me, I see you have all these cereals here, but do you know what I’m really looking for?”
“Er, noo…?”
”You don’t? Damn!! Now we’ve got a problem. What can I do? What ca I do?” and shamble off muttering darkly.

The more elderly Product Organizing and Shelf Shuffling Operatives usually chuckle.

The younger Product Organizing and Shelf Shuffling Operatives will nervously look around for their supervisor.

I must repeat, I only do this occasionally, not all the time. Honest. Occasionally. And I writed the above before I found the quote below. Honest. Scary all the same though is it?

Quote; Stephen Wright.

“I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, ‘Have you got anything I'd like?’ Then they ask me what size and I say, ‘Extra medium.’”

And Then I Needed Screws….

The drip? Armed with a new wrench and advice from the wench I got it sorted. Honest.

As I was in amongst it, I decided to replace some of the fixings with new, so it was off to the local destroy it yourself shop.

"I need six number eight machine screws please."
"Very well DIY person. Six number eight machine screws. How long do you want them?"
Exercising tremendous self-control, I quietly explained that I wanted to keep them.

Quote; Napoleon Hill.

“It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project.”