5 Apr 2020

And Then I Consider...

From little seeds do grow mighty ideas and so from a simple comment has blossomed this beauty below.

Bearing in mind my little nest of vipers fascination with colanders and the present TV news being pretty much taken over by Look-At-Me’dia folk, and understanding that she’s well deserving of her own five minutes of fame, I’ve slowly, softly started drip-feeding the ‘stunning news’ that the scientific community have discovered that by the simple expedient of wearing a stainless steel household colander on your head, the nasty virus doing the rounds will be repelled. This, strangely, only works for females.

If I can keep this drip, dripping a while, the day may come when she heads to the supermarket wearing a colander. Hay, we’re brain busted to just about accept anything now, right? Note; I’ll stay, anonymously, in the car.

Remembering that just about everyone has a camera secreted about the voluminous folds of their outer garments these days, someone – two – three or more – is/are bound the think, ‘Whoa, wot’s that all about then?’, film her and post it on Look-At-Me’dia.

Thus if you spot a Look-At-Me'dia clip on TV - before the virus stand-down - of a colander clad comestible collector, you’ll understand that my little nest of vipers is not only not playing with a full deck, but obviously left the whole pack back at the shack.

Whatever happened to all the fun in the world eh?

Quote;  Lord Byron.

"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine."


Ripper said...

Mac, true story - My next door neigbour at the old place tragically died of a brain tumour in 2016, but to give you an idea of the big personality he was, he and his whole family were the best. He liked to throw parties and barbecues in the back garden - where he had built a bar. These parties would go on sometimes until 4am but none of the neighbours minded because we were all there. He was a bit of a practical joker, as am I if I get the chance, but I would pale into insignificance compared to him.

His son had just started seeing this girl - they are still together and are currently expecting their first child, but I'm going back to about 2012. She's a lovely girl but thick as mince.

In that summer, she had been tasked with inflating a paddling pool and was using a foot pump to do it. I saw her and said, "you won't pump it up like that - you have to hold the end with the air valve up in the air, so that the air can run down to the other end" and left her holding the pool up with both hands and pumping furiously with one foot.

Not to be outdone, when it had been inflated my neighbour had her filling it up - with warm water which she was getting by repeatedly boiling the kettle.

Mac said...

back then that was a harmless bit of fun. Today? Probably classed as abuse...

Ripper said...

Mac, it still is a harmless bit of fun. I don't care what its classed as personally, I give this kind of thing out on a daily basis at work and get back my fair share too. As long as its not dangerous, foolish or doesn't physically injure in any way, its okay with me.

A few more thoughts for your vipers nest. Why not try a couple of things I did with the kid's mother, when we were courting many moons ago. She was only 16 at the time, mind you.

Sent on foot 3/4 mile into town, to the garage, for an urgently needed can of elbow grease.. the guy at the garage twigged immediately and said we don't sell it here - try the hardware shop along the end of the high street - another 1/2 mile - in a blizzard.

In my own defence, I intended to stop her but she'd gone before I could, and after thinking about going after her I thought - no, sod it, I'm not going out in this. Besides, it took ages for the black eye and facial scars to heal.

30 years later we'd divorced but paths cross frequently, on a friendly basis of course, due to the common connection of the kids. Knowing she lives near a couple of pound shops and not being able to get any myself, I asked her to call in and get me a couple of bottles of elbow grease (that magic stuff I recommended to you). What a laugh we had, remembering the first time. She did get it for me but only after I had proven to her that it exists...

Also, back in the day, she was sent for wire mesh seeds and I've even had her trying to pull start a vacuum cleaner.

There's no need to drip-drip, just convince that you know better, combined with lack of common sense and the sky's the limit.

At work the fun is a little different and relies more on lack of observation than lack of common sense, for example welding gas turned off, or wire feed rollers unclamped, so that the torch melts when one tries to use it. Switching someone's air pack off as you pass by is a good one, seeing them suddenly start sweating and the visor misting up before they can finish the weld.

Ripper said...

Mac, furthermore a message to all those foremen, during my days as an apprentice, who tried to send me to the engineer's merchant for a spirit level bubble...


Mac said...

Yup, I agree with you. And I still use Elbow Grease.
You've probably been there, but some work memories are over there on the left, As It Was - Eye Spy The Past.
Damn!! A spirit level bubble. Back in the day, anyone who went looking for one was considered to be half a bubble off...