Wot’s to come next? Well, so, just in case someone ‘up there’ blunders through this mirror, may I start by typing that wot’s below is just fun thoughts and not suggestions, okay? May I humbly suggest you head down the way and start the video so’s to be playing along as you read on.
I would imagine that those up there will be wetting themselves this morning if the TV news pictures of the ‘mass hand clapping’ that took place at twenty oh hundred hours o’clock PM last evening, in support of our new state religion, the NHS, instigated by a young lady using only a computer and Look-At-Me-Media, are to be believed. They must be thinking, ‘You know wot? We’ve just about got ‘em.’
Note: Yes, I’m all for the NHS seeing as they saved my ass this time last year when I had that tick-a-tack.
Next step? Folk such as her and all those folk fighting for five minutes of fame on the TV via Look-At-Me-Media, all hoping their video goes as viral as the virus they’re being so vociferous about, will be contacted by the state along these lines:
We appreciate your actions to date in helping the state in our five year plus rolling fight against various viruses and would like you to help further by becoming one of our Neighbourhood Watchers and to start keeping a log of the comings and goings of citizens on your street. Please post your data on Look-At-Me-Media so as to name and shame these citizens. We will then upload this data each week from your computer and, coupled with other evidence such as CCTV, will take action as deemed appropriate relating any habits witnessed that the state now, or may in the future, deem inappropriate.
Don’t be alarmed if some citizens disappear from your street as they will have been taken to one of our new Virus Learning Centres to be taught the dangers they were putting themselves and others in. On completion of the course they will be relocated to one of the new super safe total isolation towns we are preparing up and down the land.
As a big thank you, you will receive free credits to your State Contactless Consumables Card for each citizen so processed via your logged observations. Don’t forget; use ‘em or lose ‘em.
Thank you,
The State {we’re in.}
As for the police road blocks to prevent ‘unnecessary’ car journeys, how long before it’s broadcast that rather than overload the police while they’re busy breaking-up gatherings of more than two, the state will start utilizing technology already in place - number plate recognition software. They already use it for checking on road tax so it’ll be easy to link from that to the owner’s occupation. If you’re not part of the ‘essential’ workforce you get an automatic fine. A very lucrative money stream with little effort or outgoings. And if the moving car is linked to some old pensioner person? They’re obviously just out for a jolly so fixed fine plus points on their licence in a not too subtle start at getting the elderly off the roads altogether.
Please file this post under ‘Humour’ and not under ‘Suggestions Worthy Of Consideration’. Thank you.
Quote; G.K. Chesterton.
“Government has become ungovernable; that is, it cannot leave off governing. Law has become lawless; that is, it cannot see where laws should stop. The chief feature of our time is the meekness of the mob and the madness of the government.”
3 comments:
Hey Mac, I posted a rather long comment on the previous article and it seems to have gone into a void. Still, I'm not tapping all that out again, even if I've had a windfall in free time. Free? Well probably not.
Is it only me that can see a large amount of hypocrisy, selfishness and virtue signalling going on during this lockdown? Firstly those unlawful roadblocks where the Police have found a way to extort money with menaces, without having to do any actual work. Still, a 'quiet word' should fix that, hopefully before the street riots begin.
Then there's the TV - every so often we get an 'announcement' that says the same every advert break of every day, in a manner befitting Orwell's 1984. The CMO looks and sounds vaguely familiar, something which racked my brain until the name came to me - Clement Freud.
I hear he has it now too, so not much point in being touted an authority on the subject eh? I guess the upside is that his face has disappeared from the announcements, making them a bit (not much) more bearable. Of course I would wish the guy a speedy and full recovery, after saying this - Ahaha hahahahahahaha!
Also enter, straight out of the woodwork, those 'what about us? go on, donate a tenner' charities, this time Shelter, who apparently have no money but that doesn't stop them from taking advantage of a crisis and can afford TV advert campaigns.
Then there was the nationwide handclapping last night. Can't speak for everywhere but in my neighbourhood it was just an excuse to stand on the doorstep and actually interact at a distance with each other. I didn't bother as I expected the Police to turn up to break up a meeting of more than two, and anyway I'm the only one not going stir crazy with kids. I ask, what possible actual use is this to NHS workers? And what about all the other workers who are as much in the front line? Yes its a nice gesture but of no practical help - "We don't care if you have no PPE but we'll stand on our doorsteps and give you the clap" Bloody hell.
And all those volunteers, you can see the thought bubbles - "Yesss!! I can dump the kids on the spouse and get out of the house at last!"
Before I get the twitter mobs, this rant was written tongue in cheek, and anyone who thinks I would apologise in any way can do one.
Love that song Mac, it reminds me of so many bits of my life, though I prefer the Tom Petty version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA
You've also bought back memories of call me hug a hoody Dave after we won the referendum. A song from the great Monty Python's Holy Grail, swap the name Robin for Dave and you have it in a nutshell:
Bravely bold Sir David
Rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Sir David.
He was not at all afraid
To be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir David.
He was not in the least bit scared
To be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out,
And his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split
And his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled
Brave Sir David.
His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowls unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And his penis
"That's, that's enough music for now lads, there's dirty work afoot."
Brave Sir David ran away.
("No!")
Bravely ran away away.
("I didn't!")
When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
("I never!")
Yes, brave Sir David turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
("You're lying!")
Swiftly taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
Bravest of the brave, Sir David!
Ripper,
I also rate the Petty version but the Cash edit wins on graphics.
Other than that, and I hope you don't mind, you're up tonight.
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