19 Apr 2018

And Then A Bit O’ This And That...

Just a couple of things that’ve caught my eye over the past few days.

Firstly that immigration thingy seems to be a bit of a do. All I can say, and that would be just me, is that where ever in the world I was sent to work and stay, irrespective of the remote main office bosses telling me all the paperwork was cool, my first job was to confirm this with the authorities in the country in question. Never assume you’re cool just because someone in an office far away assures you you’ll be cool. Better a phone call than a wind-rush round your head some distance down the road.

Then there was the item tucked away relating to a school doing away with the titles Head Boy and Head Girl so as not to offend the LGBTQUERTY pupils. That’ll set the kids up for a fruitful future then. Ah shacks ma heed.

Following right along on the school theme is the stunning news that a study has found a rapid depletion of vocabulary amongst school kids. They needed a study to come to that conclusion? What have these folk been doing since 2010 then?  The ‘study’ mentions the prolific use of ‘innit’. Me? I’d go for ‘like’. See? Did it without fundin’ nor nuffink. Me? As I’ve said before I get really cross when grownups start a reply to a question with ‘Well,’ and the real cracker is when one of those who’s job it is to know stuff answers with, “Well, I think...” Yo! We pay you to think things through and present us with the answer!  Tell us what you know and we’ll tell you what we, like, think, okay?

Talk of vocabulary and all this abbreviated txt type stuff coupled with Emojis – they’re little pictures, right? - and I was cast back to a post of the past, when the height of cool were things along the lines of :) and similar so may I humbly, and without apology, reintroduce you to 'ARSICONS';

(_!_)      A regular arse
(__!__)  A fat arse
(!)         A tight arse
(_*_)     An arsehole
{_!_}     A swishy arse
(_o_)     An arse that's been around
(_XX_)     Kiss my arse
(_X_)    Leave my arse alone
(_zzz_)  A tired arse
(_$_)     Money coming out of his arse
(_?_)     Dumb Arse
(_E=mc2_)  Smart arse

Quote;  Doug Larson.

“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.”

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