7 Mar 2017

And Then More Cops...

I chanced to click on a TV cop show last night which contained one TV annoyance I missed from the last TV annoyance post and reminded me of yet another.

When the good guys rocked up to arrest the bad guy they rolled up at his drum, sirens blearing, wheels screeching, ran up to the front door mob handed – not often you see anyone think about covering the back door – then proceeded to hammer on the door like Thor, screaming, “Police!! Open up!!”
Needless to say the bad guy does a runner out the back but is eventually apprehended after the obligatory dramatic chase involving sliding over moving cars, climbing chain-link fences, running down ally-ways which are invariably steamy and piled with mountains of trash to trip over.

Why not keep the police mob down the next street with just a couple of cops approaching the drum, knocking politely on the door and calling, in a cheery voice, that you’re from the lottery with some great news. Me? I’d be at the door like a rat out of a trap and in cuffs before the light came on that I don’t buy lottery tickets. That would lend a little realism to the show but, sadly, greatly reduce the dramatic effect.

The other? When the two ‘lead cops’, back at the station, review the case and decide bad boy Billy is worth another look as he has both motive and opportunity and they’re sure they can crack his alibi with one more interrogation.

Off they go. They park two hundred yards down from the bad boys apartment block, on the opposite side of an extremely busy road. They hop out of their ride just in time to see Billy bad boy leave the apartment building and start heading down the road. Away from their present location.

What would you do? Split up with one of you getting across the road and catching up to Billy from behind while the other runs ahead, crosses the road and heads for the villain from the front. Then, when they’re both in right hook range of Mr Naughty, announce their presence. 

Not a chance. Two hundred yards out, on the wrong side of a busy road with Billy bad boy heading away from them they scream, “Billy!!! Police!!! Stop right there!!!” Understandably, Billy takes off but spookily, after a dramatic five minute chase involving sliding over moving cars, climbing chain-link fences and featuring plenty of ally-ways which are invariably steamy and piled with mountains of trash to trip over, Billy is cuffed.

I know, I know; stop moaning and enjoy the show...

Quote;  Terry Pratchett.

’I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'
If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?’

             Dennis Miller.

“A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.”

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