27 Nov 2016

And Then, Leaf Law...

I’m quietly confident yesterday was the last leaf raking day for this year and it’s left me with a question.

The road wot we live down is heavily tree-lined and although these trees aren’t of the very big, light blocking type, they do play host to an awful lot of leaves. Not sure what type  they really are, trees that is, I know what a leaf is, but, owing to their red through to pale pink springtime blossom, I call ‘em cherry blossom trees. No, I’ve never seen a cherry on ‘em.

When these trees burst into blossom, the road looks quite spectacular but this colour show always seems to herald the start of strong winds so the show soon becomes a snow show of blown blossom.

Okay, that was the boring preamble to this post. Hang on. On reflection, me knowing wot I’m going to type next, the above may well be the high point of this post.

During leaf gathering season, the question I ask myself is what mysterious law of nature comes into play when, after gathering a pile of fallen leaves, you attempt to pick them up to put them in you trash bag.

There are many methods of leaf collection. The two board trap method favoured by those Timidadians who’re scared of creepy-crawlies, the two handed scoop method as used by kids in far away places to drink worm infested pool water for TV begging adverts and the one handed grab, clench and swear method favoured by the impatient.

No matter which method I use, and I’ve tried them all except vacuuming,** they all result in no more than sixty percent of ‘em make it to the trash bag. How come a goodly percentage of the other forty percent magically end up back roughly where they were prior to even the gathering process and those that don’t get that far are exactly where they were when my lifting manoeuvre commenced?

There are also those that defy all and every attempt to be ‘collected’ at all by any means and just stubbornly stay where they are. Pinch ‘em, nip at ‘em, take a grab at ‘em complete with soil beneath ‘em but they just refuse to be ‘collected’. You been there or is it just down to my poor grasp of leaf grabbing techniques?

I put it down to woodland fairy magic as I do most things that don’t go my way first time for no apparent reason. However, it can now be blamed on Brexit and Trumpton as, indeed, are all things requiring even a minute measure of blame.

**I wonder if my little nest of vipers would like a leaf vac for Christmas? I need to be very careful with that idea as I well remember my big surprise gift of an ironing board wasn’t too well received.

Quote;  Homer Simpson.

“I’d be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.”



A K Haart said...

For leaves on the lawn I sometimes set the lawnmower on a high cut then run it over the lawn, collecting shredded leaved in the grass box. Then straight into the composter. Works quite well.

A K Haart said...

shredded leaves

Mac said...

A. K. Haart,
I stopped making compost some time ago and can’t remember why.
Yes, the mower did good but way back when I dug up the lawn, put down a weed suppressor and planted several tons of pea gravel, I quickly found that using the lawn mower then was akin to using a shotgun loaded with large caliber buck-shot. On the plus side, it did give the local cats paws for thought.
No, it’s the leafs {leaves?} that get into the flower beds - lodged round the plantings, rose bushes and such - that get a tad annoying. I guess they could just be left to rot down and feed the soil.