5 Sep 2016

And Then, Thought For Food...

I had to head for town this afternoon to do a bit of this an’ that. This went okay but, as expected, that ran way over time which resulted in me getting home later than anticipated.

Upon arrival home, as I was late, I found my little nest of vipers had taken advantage of my no-show for food and thus she’d prepared herself a hearty helping of her local nosebag. What I call, unkindly, but pretty accurately, road kill and rice.

What to do? I’m, unlike her, no whizz in the kitchen. Yup, I can knock up a pretty mean poached egg on toast and microwave stuff with the best of ‘em but actually gluing different ingredients together to form something remotely edible and using things like scales, mixing bowls, ovens and hot rings is not really my thing.

Regardless, I thought, for some strange reason, even after weighing-up the difficulty level, that I’d quite like a pizza and so prepared to the cooking room. On the way, I did get a tad excited wondering if I’d get the chance to use a colander.

End result? A very enjoyable thin an’ crispy crusted ham, pineapple, peppers and much other stuff pizza. I have to report, however, that I did encounter those dreaded difficulty levels. These problems manifested themselves early on in the preparation stage and in fact were threefold; finding the damn thing in the freezer which required me having to bend down quite a long way; once located, it took several attempts to open the box which seemed to me to be designed and built to make it virtually indestructible. The final move involved removing the sucker from the scissor and knife proof plastic wrapping. This freezer food’s packaged to last an eternity is it not?

NOTE: No colanders were removed from their safe-space storage area during the heating-up of this pizza and thus remain in their pristine condition.

Quote;  Phyllis Diller.

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”

2 comments:

Caratacus said...

In my usual selfless spirit of helping others as I drift aimlessly through life, I have attached a link to a method of cooking pizza apparently much used by our Slavic chums. Hope this helps ...

http://izismile.com/2013/01/09/thats_how_russians_cook_a_frozen_pizza_2_pics.html

Also, and I'd better not provide a link to this one, Gordon Ramsay has produced a failsafe recipe for cooking a two egg omelette. If you just type in his name, omelette and recipe and then request Images, it should pop up in the first row. A warning to the legions of dear old ladies who frequent this site - the Provisional Wing of the WI has already denounced the recipe as Unsound.

Mac said...


Caratacus,
Love the pizza preparation pictures. Good ol’ Gordon as well eh?
My all time favourite recipe is the first line of the Hungarian instructions for preparing chicken goulash. “First, steal a chicken...”