As most folk know, the UK is a haven for potholers. This is a pastime I’ve never had the slightest inclination to indulge in and I doff my hat to those wot do. Crawling and squirming and navigating your way deep down there must be even more scary than crawling and squirming and navigating Windows 10 privacy settings.
However, for the majority of us, there’s still the opportunity to dip our toes into this risky pastime by trying shallow pothole diving.
These shallow – and many not so shallow - potholes literally litter the country and are readily spotter anytime you drive off in your truck, van, car or bike on any road.
Where’s this going then? It’s going here: I looked out the window first thing and saw a couple of pickup trucks parked down the street which wot I live along. Pickup one was crammed with traffic disruption cones and pickup two had a pile of tarmac and a whacker on board. Hallelujah!! The pothole repair crew’s here!
The lions share of the morning was spent placing the cones so as to cause maximum traffic disruption and achieve little else.
After a leisurely lunch, the preparation commenced. This comprised sweeping out the pothole. End of. Now for the repair. A shovel of tarmac was thrown into the hole and this was whacked down for five minutes. Pardon? Did they what now? Flame the old tarmac to create a reasonable chance of the new ‘mac keying-in and bonding with the old? Yeah, right.
And that was it. Collect cones, forgetting the three most disruptive cones, take coffee, smoke a few, check phones and eventually move on.
I’m sure you know how the final scene plays out as, indeed, I already did some eight hours ago when I first spotted the two trucks but here goes anyway.
As the two pickups rounded the corner and exited the street, a bus rounded the same corner and entered the street; it ran right across the repaired pothole, collected the tarmac on its tyres then proceeded to deposit it, in granular form, along the length of the street.
If you couldn’t laugh there’s a very good chance you could either get really angry or just cry. I cried with laughter.
Quote; Lily Tomlin.
“The road to success is always under construction.”
4 comments:
As it says in Scriptures, "Yea verily I say unto ye, beware the artisan who boasts twenty years experience when all he has is one year's experience, twenty times". And is therefore employed by the Council because he chargeth not the true cost of such endeavour but is satisfied with but three ha'pence ...
Caratacus,
A fine quote and so true.
I’m guessing you’ve already seen this and had a chuckle.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3729777/Council-paints-parking-bays-city-street-doesn-t-leave-room-car-drive-middle-road.html
Now, if you or I had been handed the chitty for that job, located the street and marked the first measurements with that yellow spray paint so beloved of highway repair crews, noted the iffy result, would we not have said to our crew, “You know what? Grab a brew; I’m going to call our ‘go to’ guy in the Highways Management office for a quick word before we go any further with this job, okay?”
Caratacus (for it is he, speaking unto a mobile phone): "Steve - who did the measurements for Highfield Road?"
Steve: (sigh) "Alan. Why is there a problem?"
C: "Just a bit. Get him to come down here, would you? Now. No - now. I'm going to get the chaps tea and stickies ... they think it's brilliant. F*** knows what they're putting on Facebook"
S: (a groan ... and another one) "Please, don't. I'll pick him up and we'll be down there in ten minutes. Pardon?"
C: "Sorry Steve - that wasn't me that was Mr ... Frost? Yes, Frost (thank you) from No.12. He's ... yes, OK Mr. Frost, no, no .. I suppose it's not so blanky funny at all. And you make your point commendably well if I may say so. Steve? - see you in a bit"
Caratacus,
Love it.
Front of house tonight if you don't mind. Oh, too late...
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