While doing a little light DIY early this AM it came to pass that three number eight cross-head wood screws were required.
After a fruitless rummage in the shed it became apparent any I may have had were dumped at the last grand shed de-clutter so a visit to the DIY store was needed. There's one not too far away in one of they out of town shopping complex lookin' places so off we went.
Guess wot? It was closed and a sign on the door said… What? A talking sign you say? Sorry, no. The sign on the door stated, via the media of large print, that this store was closed for good as part of company re-structuring. In layman's speak, it wasn't making money.
This was a bit of a bummer as the next DIY super store is almost far enough away to need a packed lunch.
About half way to the other store I saw, up ahead on the left, a sight to get my heart all-a-pumping. I hung a left, as 'up ahead' was now directly on my left owing to the forward motion of the car an' all, and pulled into the car-park of an emporium, in another age known as a pub, specialising in fine fast fried foods. As we sat by the fire waiting for our servings of vitamin rich fat and oil laden food, I was remindful of the old adage that almost every cloud has a silver lining.
At the DIY super store I purchased the minimum allowable quantity of screws, in this instance a box of twenty, seventeen of which will be placed in the shed never to be used and never needed until a few days after completing the next periodic shed clean out, and preceded home being careful not to take a right into the food joint again. What's that stuff called? Saturated fat? It sure saturated us.
Oh for an old Iron Mongers store. Typing of which, Light fingers Foggy found this old tale….. Waaait a minute!! That's an old post of mine about age and tool transference. Damn. never mind; I apologies to me then.
"Too late for that buddy. The damage is done."
"What shall I do then? Do I want me to delete it?"
"No. I can Leave it this time but I mustn't do it again, okay?"
"Okay. Hay, am I talking to me again?"
"Indeed it seems I am."
"Are we on my own?"
"Not exactly, but the lady down the sofa seems preoccupied with squeezing the last of the fat from her left foot."
"Cool. Am I talking to me out loud?"
"No, I think it's what's technically termed 'in-head' this time."
"Man, I'm happy to hear that. Am I?"
"That I am. Whoa!! Pill time!"
Remember the old Iron Mongers? Any number or weight of anything you needed. Two screws, an ounce of panel-pins, a heater wick and a gallon of paraffin in this can please. So, so easy, was it not?
”Four number eight screws please.”
”Sure. How long do you want them?”
”I’d like to keep them……”
Lastly, did you see this second place map? Pointed out by Not A Sheep. Seems there's lots of purple people out there and remember, second is only one behind first.
Quote; ??
"If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence that you ever tried."
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